I am 35 and dated anywhere from 33-42 with a couple outliers. I connected with a 46M who looks great for his age (vetted) and is very fit- he matches my lifestyle and our interests seem to line up. Education and great job too. Nice and so far messaging is on point. I accepted to meet him for a first date.
We have a decade age gap, is that too much? I can’t stand men who seek out/feel entitled to younger women and now that I follow FDS, I don’t want to contribute to that since I am younger than him. But since I am also older, wondering if it’s nbd to have a 10 year difference. Also, I have tried with men my age but so many of them are incredibly immature, I feel uninspired around them!
[–]Moonmask999FDS Specialist 68 points69 points70 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]luvmyvulvaxoxo2 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
“So many of them are immature” is exactly what 20 year old women say when they date 30 year old men.
Age gaps can be less significant as you age but men of all ages are immature for their age.
It’s likely instead of dating a well adjusted man you’re dating an immature man who just happens to be older.
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[–]pickmieshaexorcist3 points [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link
I’m going to slightly go against the grain and say that at age 35, it’s not as big a concern IMO. You’re firmly an adult and less vulnerable (although not immune to!) the particular power imbalances I see in age gap relationships where the woman is early to mid 20s dating a 30+ or 40+ man.
Of course, I would still be wary. Does he only date younger for gross reasons? What’s his history like? Is he looking for a woman in her 20s or 30s as an incubator for his “legacy”? Is he immature or commitment-phobic? All good questions to ask.
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[–]werker1151 points [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link
Hmm that’s how I feel too, esp with FDS, I can’t imagine a man being able to use a power dynamic against me.
I suspect he does want to date younger for kids, bc his profile indicates he does want children. I’ll gauge more when I meet IRL!
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