When you find out you were just a placeholder gf, it hurts. How do you maintain your self worth in this situation? I feel I always end up as a placeholder until his true type becomes available.

pathalienation · 2021-07-06T01:32:24+00:00

The “true type” is a placeholder too. If he can’t treat you like a human (after all, a placeholder is just a blowup doll/therapist/maid to be USED), he isn’t treating the next girl like one either- that’s a deep, disturbing problem within his personhood.

Spoiler alert: In today’s porn sick society, most women are placeholders for porn.

LifeInC0lour · 2021-07-06T08:28:29+00:00

Your self worth isn't embedded in this one person. You're allowing them to take from you. Tell yourself you won't have this anymore. Bombard yourself with positive self affirmations, take time out for gratitude, and learn from this experience. Edit: secondly, it sounds like you need to put dating on hold for a bit

EclecticBarbarella · 2021-07-06T15:30:22+00:00

Try to reframe your thinking from “what is wrong with me that he would treat me this way?” to “what the fuck is wrong with him that he can treat someone wonderful like me this way?” The only thing within you that you need to examine or work on is why you allow men into your life who treat you like a placeholder (your wording makes it sounds like it’s a recurring issue, if it’s just one dude then just learn from the signs and make sure you vet and that anyone else you date doesn’t treat you like a placeholder). He can be as shitty as he wants to be, we can’t control other people’s actions. But you can disallow them access to you because you know you’re worth more than that. If you don’t strongly believe that and want to enforce it, I’d take some time off from dating to build that up within yourself. If you’re struggling, fake it til you make it. I started off telling myself good things about myself almost having to force myself, now I find myself casually complimenting myself and recognizing strong traits and qualities easily. Where I once used to have to try to convince myself that I was awesome and deserved good, now it’s second nature because I am awesome and deserve good.