~ archived since 2018 ~

Where can I find guys to for a potential relationship

June 9, 2021

Hi, I'm a 20f black college student and will be a senior in the fall. I will be turning 21 next month. I feel like I am on this sub every month asking for advice on how I can get a guys attention or love myself enough so that I can attract a relationship or even just losing my virginity or just attention period.

Every time I post I get so much great advice. I follow the advice but then it does not help me. Recently I have been using a 21 day love affirmation which promises to help the user find a relationship after 21 days. I have been using this affirmation for probably more than 21 days and am currently listening to it right now but I feel like it has not done that much.

I have realized that the only way for me to stop being upset about not getting any male attention is to actually just get male attention. I hate being alone all the time I just want to experience what everyone else my age is experiencing or has already experienced.

Please, please tell me how I can find guys, where I should go, what I should do in order to get the experiences that I'm looking for so I can move on with my life and actually start trying to become a HVW and level up. I hate continually complaining to my therapist and the internet about my lack of attention from guys while I watch other girls get boyfriends and have sexual experiences please this is just getting sad for me at this point. I don't wanna be 21 and have never had a boyfriend or had sex, I don't want to have a bachelors before my first boyfriend.

Thanks for reading.

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Post Information
Title Where can I find guys to for a potential relationship
Author ceedee21
Upvotes 0
Comments 3
Date June 9, 2021 1:52 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/where-can-i-find-guys-to-for-a-potential.791798
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/nvwgov/where_can_i_find_guys_to_for_a_potential/

[–]RussianCat26 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've read your history and quite honestly, your 'want a bf' has become an unhealthy obsession. And this is a state where exactly you shouldn't be near any man.

Your obsession = vulnerability = men can smell this miles away = easy for them to take advantage of you = you'll mistake attention for affection = recipe for heartbreak = you'll be even in a worse state than now = this evil cycle continues.

Everyone from FDS had given you great advice and you're still stuck wanting a bf. You have not yet decenter men, and this going to lead to disasters.

Nothing from fds you haven't already know / read and while you done what you could, clearly you still have a long way to go.

Sounds to me you're using 'wanting a b/f' as a distraction from your real issues you haven't fully resolved yet.

No one here will give you anything groundbreaking since we're dealing men, the underwhelming species. not some greenfield quantum theory matters that may uncover new (much smarter than men) civilisation

So I'm not going to offer you advice. Instead, why don't you try tinder/ hinge / bumble if you're really that inclined. Or go out, dress provocatively and flirt. And try them for yourself.

Careful of what you wished you for. Coz you might get it.

[–]ceedee21[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I completely agree with you. I know that I shouldn't want a boyfriend or male attention this bad but I just get in these moods where I see everyone else getting significant others, whether they are male or female, and also having their other things together in life as well.

Its kind of like when I am hungry and want to eat a specific thing but I only want to eat that specific thing and I am not satisfied until I get it.

When I first started looking at FDS in January I was so inspired for about a month while I was still at home for the winter break and not around other people my age as often. I knew at that time that I needed to work on myself and that I would find someone afterwards. Then when I got back to school I saw that everyone else was in a relationship and having sex while not putting in as much effort as I was to improve themselves. This really just reinforced my want to be in a relationship.

I've tried OLD but unfortunately my mother has raised me to be weary of everyone and my lack of transportation since I do not have a car and have strict mother have stopped me from meeting with people from dating apps.

Thanks for the comment.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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