Why do we seem to take rejection more personally than men?

Buckley92 · 2021-01-21T12:38:18+00:00

They don't take rejection less personally. They throw tantrums, refuse to take no for an answer, yell, behave like Rumplestiltskin, gaslight, manipulate, blame, lure, threaten, and go incel/mgtow or TRP/PUA which these days are basically the same thing or very similar. In extreme cases, they do what Clayton Weatherston did ten odd years ago. There are women out there who do all this too.

The men (and women) who are MATURE and HV take rejection less personally.

poody456 · 2021-01-21T12:15:37+00:00

I think it might come down to women being socialised to base their self worth on having a man / keeping a man so when we are rejected or “fail” at this, it feels like we are fundamentally flawed. Whereas men are socialised to sow their rolled oats as they please so rejection is seen as a bump in the road because they know their will be more to come in the future. I struggle with this so much so I’m glad you brought it up!

AyemHerself · 2021-01-21T16:35:01+00:00

Another part of it is we tend to care more for those who would reject us than men do.

Men are more likely to "play the numbers" and throw their attention toward any woman they can. They're either nonchalant or devastated by rejection based on how many prospects they think they have left.

We're generally more selective with our romantic partners and less often have backups (not including orbiters that we'd prefer get lost), so being rejected hurts more.

sstena · 2021-01-21T12:27:57+00:00

Men also feel hurt when they are rejected, though. The fact they are selfish, entitled and often violent with the emotional maturrity of a teaspoon does not override their human brain and social nature.

That said, I take this into account:

They haven't been collectively raised to see relationships with women as the core of their existence.
They are collectively taught to take what they want by force, not just by asking.
They are taught that they will be wanted or rejected by women depending on their masculinity, not looks, so when they are rejected they tend to rationalize they aren't men enough, not that they aren't good looking enough.

Then, you may have experienced situations that pushed you to unhelpful conclusions which feel validated with each reejection.

To undo this I'd advise to get in the habit of judging meen more analytically. Is he really attractive to you? Does he make a decent salary? Is he smart or just snobbish? Etc.

saint-jezebel · 2021-01-21T13:12:31+00:00

Women are more about emotional rejection, as women usually are rejected down the line, getting to know a man and putting her feelings in. Men are usually rejected upfront, so just pick up your bottom lip and go on. It’s usually not as personal. Hence, why women are told to date more than one and look out for red flags.

FluffandRainclouds · 2021-01-21T13:44:22+00:00

Men get upset but often blame others/situations (externalize) when they are rejected. Women often internalize it and see it as a reflection of self-worth.

misszazie · 2021-01-21T14:00:14+00:00

I don't know if I believe we do. We process rejection in a more healthy way. We reflect, analyze, feel a little emotion, and move on.

Remember men have the most fragile egos in the entire animal kingdom. For a man to be able to move on quickly after rejection requires incredible amounts of delusion or narcissism, blaming the women who are interested and sometimes reacting in anger towards them.

And after a breakup of a relationship, it's often men who completely collapse after a month and can't sustain their state of delusion.

We take it personally because women are conscious of others and ourselves. Men don't because they're able to exist in a world where nobody else matters.

Title	Why do we seem to take rejection more personally than men?
Author	questionasker012
Upvotes	57
Comments	13
Date	January 21, 2021 10:28 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askFDS
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/l1vwya/why_do_we_seem_to_take_rejection_more_personally/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/why-do-we-seem-to-take-rejection-more-personally.1059728 https://theredarchive.com/post/1059728