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Why would my [F21] FWB [M23] be upset about the fact that I'm seeing someone else if he explicitly told me he didn't want a relationship with me?

May 27, 2021

Over winter break, I (F21) hooked up with this guy we'll call John (M23). John is from my hometown, but goes to a school out of state. I knew him from high school, but haven't talked to him in a few years. We started talking back in October when he asked my friend for my number. After discovering FDS, I know that I should not have slept with him over break if I ever wanted it to progress any further, but I was dumb and did so. Mistake.

John left in January to go back to school. At the time, he said he wanted to keep talking but because he wouldn't be back until the summer, he didn't want to label it or be exclusive. Originally, I said okay, but then kind of backed off for a few months. He had another girl (from our state) visit him in February for Valentine's Day, but said that he has since stopped talking to her b/c the visit didn't go well. Whatever.

Anyways. Given that information, I clearly did not expect anything to come from the relationship/talking to him, but I was fine being his friend. He sent me a birthday gift for my birthday in April, and we continued talking periodically (obviously, we were not getting it on because he was gone). John always told me he didn't care if I talked to other guys, he wasn't the jealous type etc. etc. He even went so far as to say that he would be happy for me if I hooked up with someone else. It should be noted that he knows that I really liked him back in January, and would have been interested in a relationship with him (I told him this). But he told me he wasn't "at the right point in his life for a relationship" and "wanted to see where it went." Obviously, I'm not stupid and knew this meant it was going nowhere. But, again, he was fine as a friend (or so I thought).

Well, two weeks ago I was FaceTiming him when I was with my friend. My Dad said something in the background to my friend (he didn't know I was on FT b/c I turned the sound down, but did not mute it). He said something along the lines of "And she went over to (my ex boyfriend's names) house the other night, I don't even know why she still talks to him!" John freaked out. He called me a hypocrite. I have no animosity with my ex -- we don't hook up (which I told John); we are truly only friends because I have known him since I was 17. My ex was not a LVM for the most part -- we just had different expectations in a relationship. I believe he called me a hypocrite because I told him he shouldn't get back together with his ex because she cheated on him throughout the entire relationship... But anyways... He said some really mean things, hung up, and hasn't replied to any of my texts since. I think he is mad because he believes that I hooked up with my ex (which I didn't and DON'T), but even if I did, why would he have a right to care/be mad about that after he told me he did not want a relationship with me? I honestly don't know if I'll ever hear from him again...It's been two weeks! Honestly, at this point, I don't really gaf. But I'd still like to know what the logic behind his anger is if any of you ladies have ever experienced something like this.

Tl;dr: FWB got angry and isn't talking to me after finding out I hung out with my ex boyfriend. But he has told me explicitly he does NOT want a relationship with me and I'm 99% certain that he is seeing other females. What is the logic behind him getting mad if he doesn't want a relationship with me? Is this just a typical LVM thing to do? Has anyone else had this experience before?

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Post Information
Title Why would my [F21] FWB [M23] be upset about the fact that I'm seeing someone else if he explicitly told me he didn't want a relationship with me?
Author luckycharmxx
Upvotes 86
Comments 38
Date May 27, 2021 12:52 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askFDS
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askFDS/why-would-my-f21-fwb-m23-be-upset-about-the-fact.791872
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/AskFDS/comments/nlvz6d/why_would_my_f21_fwb_m23_be_upset_about_the_fact/
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