I'm in a good great place. I'm in the best shape of my life, socially active, physically active, owning my shit, etc. I am not swayed by my wife's emotions at all, but she seems to get angrier and bitchier every time we "argue". Argue in quotes since I don't engage, which makes her angrier.

The latest was that I had planned our anniversary celebration for Saturday. She had cancelled the babysitter (apparently), I told her "that was disappointing" and proceeded to take my daughter to the one activity she could have done (escape room). This set my wife off and she convinced my daughter not to go. So I wasted $150 since no one wanted to go (needed at least 2 people). Ok, whatever sunk cost. I decided I was going to go see a movie, of course everyone wanted to come, so we did that.

After the movie, wife asked out of the blue "do you need me?". Responded: "I don't need you, but I want you and choose to be with you". This blew her up how she doesn't want to be with someone who doesn't need her. No BP faggotness, just let her be. She decided to sleep with the kids (of course, this is predictable when she's angry), I came up and said goodnight, they went to get a drink. SAid goodnight to her and she bitchily said "but you don't need me, fuck you". I responded with "I want you, and need to fuck you" (silly grin).

That night she sent a long email to my therapist that I'm not going to fully go through (most of the stuff was from my extreme Rambo 4-6 months ago - overtly inspiring dread through threatening to cheat, get hookers, whatever).

Here's the key points from it relevant to my question

-I'm degrading and demeaning since I only want her for sex. (Note I praise her all the time for stuff she does -decorating, cooking, cleaning, hell throwing me a towel for the dog)

-I make comments like "I'll fuck you later" when leaving for work

-When she gets angry I treat it like "when the kids are throwing a tantrum" and finds it funny

-I pull her hair and slap her ass during sex which makes her feel like a prostitute. (She has never complained about this and is enthusiastic during sex so I see this as a ASD)

-It's all due to a midlife crisis. " Changing his appearance, lasik, removing body hair, obsessing over weight lifting, obsessing over getting rid of all body fat, not sleeping AT ALL, checking out other women and telling me he can point out the ones he finds attractive" (The last was from a shit test)

-" I’ve discussed all of these things with him before, having emotions meanwhile he has NONE. He literally never cries or gets upset or emotional at all, when he used to actually care way back when and would cry if he was upset. I don’t know what happened to that person but he’s long gone now. "

She called me a stoic fucking robot yesterday. And then an asshole, and then have mood swings. I really am not phased by her and would miss her if she left, but I'm finding it harder and harder to love her. She broke down crying last night, I told her I want her in this marriage. She points out how shitty BP me was but then says she doesn't like the new me.

I can't seem to generate positive feelz. Every attempt I make she rejects. Never wants to go out, just wants to be on Instagram or be around the kids. AWALT or am I missing something in all this? In a recent OYS I was told to slow down a bit on the gas and I have done so.

Any advice would be welcome if someone has seen this before or if AWALT and we are getting closer and closer to the main event and this is continued attempts to have be break down, back down, get emotional, or what not.