Am I shooting myself in the foot here?

October 25, 2017
7 upvotes

I’m posting this here because you guys are much more knowledgeable and the stuff I read here resonates with me more than the stuff I read in the main sub.

I am not married. I have been dating a girl for 8 months now and she is a potential LTR and a good match for where my life is headed. I just started reading the sidebar in here so forgive me if I’m not all the way up to date yet. I have read NMMNG. WISNIFG x2. And now on to MMSLP about half way . Along with reading some top post in between in my free time.

Of course things between us are still fresh and awesome. We see each other a lot and she was in a shitty relationship prior for about 6 years.

She fell head over heels for me. I know how to be alpha and put her in her place when I need to. I also know a relationship takes a mix of both alpha and beta traits. She’s a bit insecure so I have been more comforting towards her. I constantly lead and am planning things for us. I’m spontaneous. Random. Etc. and the sex is everywhere under the son and extremely often. Some of the best sex I ever had.

But I really do like this girl. We spend a lot of time together. She wants commitment I have been saying let’s just see where things go until I’m ready. The fact I like her so much has caused me to act more beta. I don’t mean being a push over chump. I mean showing her I do care about her. Showing her she’s safe with me. Complimenting her. She has told me she can’t believe how comfortable she feels around me. That she constantly thinking about me. She always compliments me. Sends me nudes. Does things for me.

The thing is I say nice things back to her too. Like I miss her too and shit. I think I really do love this girl. She says she knows she loves me. The oxytocin is flowing right now and it’s hard to be distant I guess. I have established some boundaries already. And When the time comes I will tell her no. Or put her in her place if need be but nothing bad has happened at all. It’s been all good.

But from what I read this may end up biting me in the ass because I don’t want to float into nice guy territory. The shit I’m doing is because I want to. Not because I’m looking for validation or thinking it will be what she wants to hear. It’s because I want to. But I’m worried about going overboard. I have been trying to follow the golden rule 3/2. She puts out a lot so it causes me to give a lot.

I’m just wondering if all this is going to bite me in the ass potentially. Should I back off a bit?

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Post Information
Title Am I shooting myself in the foot here?
Author kryptoknight12
Upvotes 7
Comments 21
Date October 25, 2017 8:17 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/am-i-shooting-myself-in-the-foot-here.205238
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/78qfdx/am_i_shooting_myself_in_the_foot_here/
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Comments

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret7 points8 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Your physical stats are impressive.

She’s impressed, too.

But that’s not enough, is it? I mean, for all your lifts and muscles, you’re still unsure enough about this whole potential LTR thing to post here.

Over time, as she gets used to you, your stats will mean less to her. Just make sure you maintain them.

Let’s talk about the REAL reason you are here. The OTHER half of you as a man.

Your MIND.

Your mind, your personality, the very essence that is you. All of this creates your...

FRAME. And your frame is how you project your masculinity into the world and how you deal with the shit that life gives you in return.

Right now you are at the front end of young love. Awesome. The only thing sweeter than young love is the juice from the pussy that provides it.

You’re relatively new to RP in general, and MRP in particular. Cool. Welcome.

If you want an MRP relationship, then you must learn, embrace, and INTERNALIZE the praxeology here as set forth in the sidebar.

Two quick points and then I’ll copy/paste my quick guide to get started on the sidebar.

First, DO NOT MOVE IN, SHACK UP, OR SIGN ANY CONTRACTS WITH THIS WOMAN. For all the reasons why, read The Rational Male, by Rollo Tomassi.

Second, you want to be working at DL6. Pay attention to mission and purpose. DO NOT STOP DOING THE THINGS THAT MAKE YOU ATTRACTIVE TO HER, because if you do, she will become unattracted.

Remember, every swinging dick in this forum got together with or wifed up their special unicorn. Sex was good, future looked bright, and then it all went to shit.

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU.

DON’T GO TO SHIT.

The following will help you establish a solid RP relationship. It was written for someone else so filter what doesn’t apply to you.

Don’t get excited, ALMOST ALL of it still applies to you.

First, watch the movie, The Matrix. I don't give a fuck if you've already seen it 3 times. Watch it right now. 80% of the metaphors here are based on that movie.

Next, as an overview, read this:

https://illimitablemen.com/understanding-the-red-pill/red-pill-constitution/

Before you ever post again anywhere around askMRP or MRP, read this:

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/4z84w5/posting_quality_guide_for_rmarriedredpill/

Now, go here; find out which drunk Captain you are and WRITE DOWN the prognosis/reading assignments.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2vykau/a_guide_for_beginners_to_mrp/

Next, go here, read it word for fucking word, twice, and use it as a pacing metric;

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/2lpafb/the_12_step_plan_of_dread_book_excerpt_from_my/

Once a week, go here, and read a new article/book.

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/wiki/index

Every single time you come to an exercise in your reading, a book, or an article, fucking DO IT.

There is no skipping shit allowed.

You have two primary goals;

Develop your body in the gym.

Develop your mind/frame in the sidebar.

I have posted twice in four months.

I don't expect to see you post for another couple of months unless you have a legitimate fucking question about something you've actually read.

You come in here complaining about her ghosting you on twatfuck while you're out of town and a whole bunch of us will tear you a new asshole.

The mantra is:

LIFT

READ

STFU

LIFT: 3-4 days a week, primary lifts. No fucking talking, no fucking around, BECAUSE YOU HAVE READING TO DO.

READ: aforementioned

STFU: you do not talk about fight club. You do not become an asshole fucking retarded autistic moronic Rambo, go off on the wife, lay down the law, set new boundaries, or other bullshit.

It is business as usual. STFU about your changes. Let them and her acknowledgement of them be natural and organic. You will avoid a lot of shit this way.

EVERYTHING I have just written IS IN the sidebar. I just saved you an hour figuring it out.

Now, welcome to MRP.

We look forward to an awesome FR in MRP in 3 months because this shit is so awesome and you are doing it right.

So...

STFU

and...

Get to fucking work.

[–]roqueofspades4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Metaphors here are based on the matrix, huh? You know that was written by trans women right?

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What, the movie?

[–]roqueofspades2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Interesting.

I don’t think that will change the foundation of the praxeology

[–]roqueofspades3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Except that it's almost certainly an allegory for coming out as trans and not being so insecure that you have to "assert dominance" over your wife constantly. But whatever.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Two quick points and then I’ll copy/paste my quick guide to get started on the sidebar.

Copy paste? Cool. Admire your resourcefulness, and, your message..

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How old are each of you and what has your vetting process been into her history?

I see a lot of shes in the OP and not a lot of what your mission is, other than her.

What are you big three lifts currently at as well?

[–]kryptoknight12[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

She’s 24. I’m 28.

I am very busy with my side business she understands what I do. She doesn’t give me shit for it when I have to stay late or whatever the case may be. She is VERY submissive she allows me to lead and not only does she follow my directions. She will often follow my example. Started going to the gym 5 days a week. She didn’t do that till she met me. I have a strict diet and she wants to get in better shape and she shows up the one day with one of my main clean meals I always eat.

If I need her to do something for me. It’s not “can you?” It’s absolutely.

She will go out of her way to do what I ask and do extra things I don’t ask. Sex is fucking great and has been no push back on anything what so ever. In fact I believe since her last relationship was with a fucking dweeb. She’s not only enjoying this lead but she loves it.

I just feel like she is a great match for where I see my life in a couple years.

Of course she’s not some unicorn but she has a lot of good qualities I look for in a partner

Bench: 385 Squat: 405 Deadlift: 450.

208lbs. 6 foot. 10%bf

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well then I would say just keep developing in the area of male maturity. If your lifts are advanced as you say, then great. You have the lifting part down

You have a few more years before you enter your male mental prime. Your still learning. And you have an age advantage with 4 years on her.

She has 6-8 years of good breeding ability left. You have plenty. Keep her as an LTR and watch her behavior. You have the time to properly vet her.

Really study the sidebar material esp the books on marriage. Keep the gas pedal down.

The bast majority of women get lazy when they get married because their men get lazy.

Don’t be like most.

[–]kryptoknight12[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. I’ll get reading

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The mix you create is dependent on the relationship. Some women need more alpha, some need slightly more beta. There is no set in stone mix that works for everyone. As long as the behavior you are doing suits the purpose you have set in your life there is no harm in the behavior. What you can say is that this is a very slippery slope and one day you very well could wake up to a dead bedroom and shitty relationship.

[–]kryptoknight12[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Is there way to find out what that mix is? I guess by her behavior?

Also is there a way to minimize that DB and shitty relationship from Happening?

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If shes fucking you eagerly and on demand, following your lead, not being a harpy/bitch, eager to see you, pleasant to be around, means you are on the right track.

Just remember that she can get lazy when she has the ring on her finger.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I mean, be yourself... to an extent. Key is to not put her on a pedestal. I barely compliment my damn wife and we've been together for 10 years. Same with "I love you" bullshit. Use that shit sparingly, like cocaine and hookers.

[–]nantucketghost1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you love her, you love her. Alpha doesn't mean you need to bang all the chick all the time. You're her alpha. That also doesn't mean you can't be beta on certain things either. I believe one of the books in the side bar even talks about this in relationships.

It means that you can do what she wants, even have sappy love sex... But then fuck the shit out of her another day to let her know who's in charge.

Doesn't mean you change who you are either. Go to play poker on Thursday nights? No one said to stop. Smoke cigars when you play? No one said to stop.

Be who you are. Once she starts trying to change you is when you put down the hard no and make sure she knows who's boss.

I used to play and saw many guys get a girl friend and then have no time for their friends. Don't be that guy. Girls won't change you unless you let them.

If she meets your criteria, is fun to hang around, can talk to all night, etc, etc. Then don't throw her away.

But if you're seeing red flags (you know, the big kind) then you move on.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

New relationship energy - isn't it great.

You're in a highly charged mess of hormones - so just be aware of your mental state.

Also, there is some mental disconnect here, you say "I think I really do love this girl", and then you say "And When the time comes I will tell her no" - only advice is you best confirm that this is what you want (because really, you're the master of your own fate).

[–]kryptoknight12[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

No no I mean when the time comes when she needs to be told no. Or I need to put my foot down about something I will

[–]trpbritguy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact I like her so much has caused me to act more beta.

This will kill you if you don't keep a good eye on it mate! This is the one thing that WILL bite you in the ass!

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re young, yes? You’re enjoying being with this woman, yes? Not every guy likes slaying every new chick he comes across. You be the judge of if you found a high quality woman...but don’t get sucked into craving and lapping up that delicious validation she provides. Because it seems like you’re starting to get a little high off it.

Enjoy the ride. Because that’s what all this is...a ride. You’re just learning where not to put your hands so they don’t get chopped off during the big drop. And there’s always big drops.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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