So I've been torn for a while on whether to tell my wife I've been using Viagra for the last year or so. Shit has been rocky between us and she has consistently said sex feels different and she doesn't like it and has blamed it all on my TRT.

I understand that I decide what is best for me and I do not owe anyone an explanation for my actions. On the other hand, I am living in fear by hiding this from her. I don't want to live in fear anymore, so I told her. I didn't say I'm sorry ever, I just this is what I've been doing and why. I said I'm done hiding shit from her. I've said before how long I last have always been an insecurity for me, and it still is, and that's why I take it. I'm not sure it was the best thing to do or not, but my gut told me I needed to man up and just be honest.

She didn't speak to me for the rest of the night but was pleasant this morning.

From now on my ED meds will be going in my bathroom drawer. I'm going to stop and see how things go without them, but will ultimately do what I want. If shit is not working right I plan on switching and using Cialis so that I don't take a pill and expect to have sex, it's just something I take. But either way, it will be there and if she wants to look she can.

I hope I'm getting to the point that I DNGAF anymore. I'm just so tired of the bullshit.

I will update you in my OYS next week for those that GAF.