Hey everyone. I got a question. I hope you have answers.
I've noticed I have a habit of trying to one-up my wife in conversation. She'll make a playful, snide remark about something ("At least someone finally fixed the dishwasher!" meaning me), and I feel the impulse to make a comeback comment, to "win" the conversation, it feels like.
However, I've noticed that more than half the time, my comments are stupid. I don't score the point I'm going for, and I end up later thinking of way better things I could have said. Worst of all, if I don't nail it, I totally lose frame for the moment.
I've been doing this for years.
Right now, I'm experimenting with simply smiling and STFU when these comments come my way. My aim is to appreciate that she's being playful while not risking losing the frame. I'll very occasionally still get one in, when the timing and situation are in my favor. Otherwise, it's silence and smiles.
What do you guys recommend? Any other competitive (read: insecure, I think?) extroverts try to win these games every time?
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