Comfort

anythinginc · 2016-12-09T02:56:53+00:00

try to go affection or comfort and it gets me slow degradation of the relationship until it's gone

Are you talking about the woman you wanted to marry from college before you moved to Japan? Or are you back in the states serial dating?

Regardless, the most important thing when it comes to the first couple days/weeks of dating/sex/relationships is to have ZERO (0) expectations about what is going to happen between you and the girl. Tinder date? No expectations. Same night lay? Wake up, go to brunch, no expectations. She's texting you and you hook up a few more times, NO EXPECTATIONS! Do not invest in the relationship more than she does. You want it to feel organic, let her "fall for you." Let her say "I love you" first. Be available, and be interested, but you do not want to be with a girl that feels guilted or pressured into being with you. You want a girl that desires you and SHE puts in effort to be with you and please you. THAT woman is going to CHERISH your comfort, that woman is going to love your comfort, for that girl, comfort is going to make her think, "this is really happing, I'm so happy OMG!" She going to be texting her friends the sweet shit you do and they going to be like "oohhh girl he likes you, why can't I find a man like that." But you have to let her get there first. Confort and affection from a guy she isn't feeling yet makes a woman feel gross.

There are some other military men here, and they probably have much more info for you about the complexities of military relationships.

I will say, that college gf that crushed you a year or two ago SAVED YOUR LIFE, even if it doesn't feel like it. Many men like you end up with the first base-rat that comes on strong and after she sleeps with half the barracks and you don't know which kids are yours but you are paying for them all when she leaves. So, be thankful you are where you are in life brother.

470_2_700_nm · 2016-12-09T15:48:22+00:00

You seem like a troll or have a really hard time with normal relationships. I'm sorry if the second is the case, if it is, just experiment and you should find your happy medium.

Too much of anything is a bad thing. Learn to regulate.

man_in_the_world · 2016-12-09T04:20:52+00:00

You're approaching this backwards, because you're focusing on adjusting your behavior to try to keep THEM interested, rather than expecting them to adapt to keep YOU interested.

Wrong: Planning a date around what you think she would like.
Right: Deciding that you want to go dancing/rock climbing/surfing/whatever, and inviting her to join if you think she'd be a fun addition. If she says no, you're going anyway.

You need to be busy doing your things and pursuing your own missions and goals in life. If someone attracts you along the way you can invite her to join in parts of your life. But your mission had better not be to attract a girl and mold yourself to her expectations to keep her attracted; that's backwards. If you don't have your own life and missions, fix that.

Read The Book of Pook.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-12-09T18:36:44+00:00

How do you transform from attraction to affection?

Do both! Be the oak. You don't want to show affection because you are still in the anger stage. There is a BIG difference between laying down and putting your head on mommies stomach and laying down and pulling your wife into your arms.

Title	Comfort
Author	kendallb183
Upvotes	2
Comments	17
Date	December 9, 2016 2:26 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5hb979/comfort/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/comfort.206798 https://theredarchive.com/post/206798