Okay here goes. First post on here. Open fire.
Stats: newly 29 yo, unmarried, 10 month LTR, live separately, no kids 5'9" 155 lbs Lift 3x/wk. Bench, squat, DL, OHP numbers cannot be updated. I'm getting over a minor back injury, but I'm sure I can do at least body weight for each now. Reading: sidebar, 16 commandments, she comes first (probably shouldn't have read this one first).
For a few weeks now, I've had my suspicions that my LTR has been talking to another guy. I saw the message previews on her iPhone. It didn't look innocent. It was a guy asking her if she already had dinner, what she was up to, etc.
I left it for a while. If she wants to have beta orbiters, then so be it. Nothing to concern myself with. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was up. Trust your gut.
Then this past weekend, I took her on a road trip out of town. At one point, she puts in her pin code to her phone to unlock it. Out of the corner of my eye, I see it and memorize it.
During the last day of our trip (yesterday), as we're getting ready to check out of the hotel, she gets into the shower. Like a typical woman, she takes her time showering. Her phone is laying on the bed and I couldn't resist the urge to go through her messages. "Trust but verify."
Holy fucking shit.
It wasn't some beta orbiter. It was her ex. Her first bf from years ago. Most likely took her virginity. The story was that they started dating in college but then he dropped out after receiving a job offer. He got busy with work and life so he ended things with her. He wouldn't commit to her (Alpha widowed her?).
Jesus Christ I'm still in shock at what I read. I rushed through it. I couldn't read everything before she stopped showering, but I read enough. I'm sure you've guessed it by this point, but yes, they've been fucking.
We had sex every day this past weekend. In the bed, in the shower. I made her cum multiple times till she couldn't take it no more like I always do. We seemed happy. Honestly. I've read about many of the other problems that guys have on this sub and I just can't relate.
But what really shocked me (other than being cheated on in a seemingly happy relationship) was that she did things with him that she wouldn't do with me. God as I'm typing this I feel absolute shame for becoming another blue pill beta cuck statistic. According to the texts, she attempted anal with him, she swallowed his cum (she's done this with me as well, but only once or twice). Alpha fucks. AWALT. God damn it.
Another painful thing is that it's not just texting for logistics. There's emotional cheating. She's really into him. Lovey dovey emojis and 'I miss you and I really want to see you' texts. Ouch. What's interesting was that it was mainly one sided affection from her while he was mainly about logistics and sexting. Alpha fucks indeed.
I was in shock. Still am. Had to make a long drive back home with her. The silence made it even longer. I applaud myself for not causing a multi vehicle collision. But I couldn't hold it in. We talked. She cried. I asked her if she had been 100% honest with me. She lied to my face point blank each time.
Then we get back to her place. I told her only about the text previews. Then she admits that she lied and that she never cut off communication with her ex like I asked her to when we first started dating. I continued to press, but she still refused to admit to cheating. "We're just friends. No touching, no sex." Liars gonna lie and hoes gonna hoe.
I chose not to reveal all my cards. I made no mention of reading the actual texts on her phone. She apologized profusely saying she made a mistake, I'm the only one she wants to be with, to share a future with, "I love you," "I'll do anything to earn back your trust" blah blah blah. No tears from me. No outburst of anger. Just a hysterical smile with lots of keeping my mouth shut.
You're going to rip me apart for the next points that I write. I'm giving all the relevant info here because I see this as a learning experience. Hopefully one day I can look back at this and just laugh while sipping champagne in business class.
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There was minimal vetting time. Only 2.5 weeks of dating before LTRing after meeting on Bumble. Shoot me now. She had a low n count and "conservative values" but she slept with me on the third date (including bj).
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There weren't many red flags at all. But one was that she never made any mention of me or having a boyfriend on her instagram account. I myself don't have social media but "trust but verify." I read somewhere on this sub that women do this to keep their options open. True story.
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If you haven't taken your shot at me yet, now is the time. She wanted to get married young and soon and have kids soon after. Slowly over time, she pressured me into this and I fell into her frame. Her reasons were that having kids later would be riskier for her and the kids (biologically fair point).
We've already discussed our timeline for when she wants to get engaged, when the wedding will be, when and where the honeymoon will take place. We've even looked at a couple of wedding venues. I was about to book in advance our honeymoon trip around the world in business class. All before even hitting the 1 year LTR mark.
God kill me now. I've been so blue pilled Billy beta boy.
We may have discussed all of the above, but I haven't given any of them to her yet. Briffault's law would suggest that she keep her shit together until the marriage contract is signed and baby on the way to lock my dumb ass down for long term. But she just couldn't wait and resist the alpha dick.
As I'm writing this, I feel completely humiliated. But there is hope.
Pre-trp me would have cried like a little bitch in front of her, demanding to know why she would destroy what made her so happy and comfortable. She could have lived a comfy life in one of the most beautiful and most expensive places in the world. But now she ain't getting shit from me.
Pre-trp me probably would have forgiven her on the spot after seeing her cry and beg for forgiveness. Instead I walked away with my head held high and her crying hysterically.
I admit it. I done fucked up bad.
My question now is for my next steps.
Option 1: Hard next her cold turkey and never look back. Focus on myself.
Option 2: Demote to plate. Only see her when I want my boner taken care of and only when it's convenient for me. Focus on myself.
Option 3: Keep her as LTR until I find someone better to branch swing to. Focus on myself.
As I'm typing this, I think I know what the right answer is, but I always enjoy reading trp veterans destroy noobs like me on here. So do it.
This all comes at the worst time, of course. Close family member is sick and I'm starting a new job that I fought to get for years. Then again, there's never a good time to get cheated on.
I swear to lift, sidebar, meditate, learn and practice game, eat healthier, dress and look better, read more trp-related literature, focus on my self and career and mission.
