About 2 hours after posting OYS this week, I found out that recent attempts to get pregnant (via IVF) failed due to genetic mutations. Likely on my side - IBD treatment may cause sperm quality issues. This makes me feel shitty - since we both want more kids. And yes we're older but shouldn't have this many issues. I doubt it's my wife - she's super healthy and her tests show she's the equivalent of a 31 year old for fertility.

So my options are 1) get off the IBD treatment and wait a few months and recheck. 2) use donor sperm (I'm completely against this right now but not sure if it's my ego or what), 3) try IVF again or 4) adopt. Good news is we have some fertility insurance coverage.

What I'm pissed/feeling shit about is that it's my issue. Is this ego because ability to have children = manliness or just a sense of loss/mourning on my part? I need to figure this shit out, and needed to vent somewhere. God this life keeps kicking me in the balls (literally this time) every time I feel like I'm getting shit together.