~ archived since 2018 ~

Delayed Onset of Anger Phase

April 27, 2018

I’m mid-30s, 6'1, 16% BF, salary just under 200k, read the sidebar a few times. Bench - 335, OHP - 215, squat & dead are a no-go right now due to a BJJ knee injury. Swallowed the pill a little over a year ago.

Here's my question... has anyone here had an extreme delay of the anger phase? I’ve had it come up more and more over the past month or so. That’s in spite of the fact that my wife has responded very well to the ‘new’ me. She isn't 100% of the way to where I want her to be but she's very close. Enough about her.

I'm just pissed at the world. I'm pissed at TV shows and Disney. I'm pissed at my wife for nearly a decade of shitty sex. I'm pissed at me for going from a ripped alpha to a fat beta fuck. I'm pissed that my wife isn't 100% of the way that I want her to be yet. I'm pissed that I was a lazy fuck at work for years. I'm pissed that I didn't invest as much time in my kids as I should have for a few years because I was chasing pixels on a video game. In my pissedoffedness (I'm good at inventing words), I tend to let the whiny bitch voice inside of me out and then my wife shit tests the hell out of me for a while.

So… has anyone here had the anger phase pop up out of nowhere (relatively speaking) further down the path than they would have expected? My life is 1000x better this year than last year in terms of fitness, health, salary, motivation, sex, etc. but I’m just pissed off at the same time. Any advice?

EDIT: I recognize I've got some shitty covert contracts here. There is a part of me that I logically analyzing what I'm doing and would tell someone else to man up and knock it off. That's great and all but I'm looking for practical advice on how to maneuver through that. What worked for you guys?

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Post Information
Title Delayed Onset of Anger Phase
Author CaptJohnLukeDiscard
Upvotes 3
Comments 20
Date April 27, 2018 8:19 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link
Original Link
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[–]the_grizzlebee3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

go lift until you're not mad

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm pissed that my wife isn't 100% of the way that I want her to be yet

I guarantee that the reason she is not where you want her yet is because you are still holding back, consciously or unconsciously, from being the you you would be if you your wife wasn't your wife, but your plate.

Compare it to a law of diminishing returns. If you put in exactly what you think it'll take to get where you want to go...youll fall short. It's why she's always behind. Don't be afraid to go harder, then try to calibrary when she catches up.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There's nothing to be gained by dwelling on the past. Nothing. You can't change your past, just like I can't go back and tell myself 20 years ago to get a Testosterone test. All those years of lifting, constant injuries, gaining muscle only to lose it all when I cut, all wasted. If I find myself thinking about it, I just force myself to think of something else. Dwelling on your past is an indulgence. It's an extravagance because it's completely wasteful. Go play a video game or go wank or something, at least it would bring you some temporary joy.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are white fluffy clouds and dark storm clouds.

The sky sees all of the pass by.

The sky knows the weather. The sky isn’t the weather.

It’s my belief that RP men never get over it. Alphas just learn to deal with it through time and experience. Even still some never do and they go hard core to the extreme side of the spectrum of Alpha traits. You can rationalize it away by things like:

No sunk cost mentality.

Live in abundance


Pick up more physical tasks

It goes on. Thing is to some degree we have a right to be angry. The world isn’t what we were told it was and it never will be. A man’s life is hard. It’s harder when you are stupid. The only thing I can say is find what works to keep the anger at bay and move forward. No use living in the past.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You cant work your lower half of your body because you have a knee injury.

And your pissed cause your wife is not 100%?

Go do some Inner Thigh Adductors at the gym you faggot and try to tighten up your mangina.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

My prior squat and DL maxes are no longer relevant bc I’m five weeks post knee surgery. I do plenty of leg work in addition to PT such as RDL and split squats.

Maybe I can make a giant covert contract with my wife that says she will go from 95% to 100% once I’m squatting heavy again.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

A lot of focus on lifting I see.

Start rounding out other areas. How’s your wardrobe, Game, Daygame skills?

Improve those and she’ll come the rest of the way.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you are gonna respond on AMRP, at least aim for reading comprehension or to be remotely helpful. I’m 5 weeks post knee surgery today. My 1RM squat 2 weeks pre surgery was 475. DL was 455. I’m still lifting legs but my prior maxes are pointless to mention now because doc has restricted squatting and DLs until mid summer and I’ll probably be starting back at 2 plates.

Now, if you have any advice that’s worth more than a warm bucket of piss, I’m all ears... faggot.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

totally normal

this shit ebbs and flows

get angry, let it happen, don't resist it

but also don't forget that you and you alone are in total control of how you respond to situations in your life

and in fact that is one of the few things you have complete control over -- how you respond

so be angry, fine

but let it go and move on

choose what is ultimately most valuable to you

is your anger valuable? does it move you closer to your goals? does it make you a better man? probably not in the long term

make a conscious decision to how you react

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

My anger isn't helpful at all. It's a whiny bitch worrying about sunk costs. From an objective standpoint, I'm damn near Denzel Washington in Training Day... King Kong ain't got shit on me.

That's what is frustrating about the anger portion because it is getting in the way of the Mission. It's harder to move forward with a level head and do the shit I need to do when I'm extremely pissed off over shit that happened a long time ago.

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's what is frustrating about the anger portion because it is getting in the way of the Mission.

it only has the power that you give it

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You seem to be getting more downside than upside from your anger at times.

The problem with anger is that it is often a mask for grief and sadness. Grieving your losses isn't a bad thing if you let yourself get past it by accepting the grief, pain and sadness that you brought into your life. Many men, like myself and possibly you, skipped over the sadness to the more active anger. (in my case rage)

Make no mistake, anger is a higher, more active, and more positive response than grief/sadness. The problem is, when you jump past something important, you often have to go back and experience it. (alone, in private, not shared, it is all yours)

You need to slow it down when you get angry, and understand the "why". The real why. If your life is 1000x better, then "why" are you really angry. Only you know, but I suspect you are "using" anger to push down the real reasons for your upset in spite of your life being so much better. If that is the case, you will forever have angry "inconsolable" days, that will cause you more torment than anyone else. You will find that the past is in your present, your future is uncertain, and your present, no matter how much "better" will never give you peace.

This has nothing to do with anyone other than you. So next time you post about your problems, leave your wife out of it. It will just confuse you.

[–]BostonBrakeJob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Boo fucking hoo. Eat a Snickers and hate fuck your wife, faggot.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s normal fag.

Losers get mad and complain while winners go home and fuck the prom queen.

We all been beta pussies for a long long time. Take it out in the iron temple. Eventually, with time, it will fade away. Practice some grounding techniques, live in the present moment , read up on that. I’m not saying the word meditate, it’s way too mainstream. Find you own version of it that works for you. Detach from the past. Have nostalgia for the future.

A red pill man is happy. You’ll get to that eventually.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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