So as I mentioned in my OYS post from this week (starts here and continues here)--primarily in the second part--I've been thinking a lot about how to develop more abundance mentality lately. I've never really done much "gaming" or flirting of women other than my wife, even before I was married, so I don't have a lot of knowledge or skill regarding how to meet, flirt with, and hook up with, women. I've never considered myself particularly physically attractive but have never really tested the waters to try to evaluate it objectively, and I'm probably not going to truly believe that other women could find me attractive unless I actually have women finding me attractive.
As a result, I'm having trouble internalizing an abundance mindset and an "I am the prize" attitude. I understand it mentally, but emotionally I'm not yet able to really believe it. I don't really know where I'd go to meet/flirt with women and the logistics of my demanding job and leading my family make it difficult to find free evenings to go to bars or clubs anyway.
So I've been considering signing up for Tinder, if for nothing else than just to get a taste of what's out there. I feel like even a few matches and decent text conversations could help me really prove to myself that I do have other options besides my wife, and at least offer a few opportunities to practice flirting and being cocky-funny over text. I'm not sure I'm ready yet to actually go on dates or escalate anything physically with another woman (I'd primarily be going for catch-and-release right now, if anything), but I believe that knowing whether I'd have the chance if I wanted it could be very helpful for my frame development right now. Hell, even seeing the list of women near me looking to hook up would probably be useful.
However, I'm being a pussy and not signing up yet because I'm concerned about OPSEC; despite my efforts to research this online, I'm still not fully sure how Tinder actually works or displays people. If I had an account and my wife found out (likely through single family members or friends who might have accounts and could see my profile), it would likely destroy my marriage--and while I haven't yet decided if the marriage will survive, if it's going to dissolve I want to make damn sure it happens on MY terms and when I'M ready for it.
So those of you who are married and use Tinder, how do you protect yourself from being found out? Is there a way to safeguard against this? How likely is it that somebody of the opposite sex living in my same city would see my profile? How about if they live in another state?
I'd appreciate any help or input regarding Tinder use, places to go out and meet/flirt with women, or any other help with things I can do to develop true abundance and "I am the prize" mentality.