I really appreciate everyone's insight, and glad I had the opportunity to correct my trajectory before my marriage exploded. I learned that my basic dread level oughta be

When you are with her it is warmth, sweetness and light. Affirming, happy, upbeat, make her FEEEEEEEL good. It is Kino and cuddles.

but when I get the hard no, or starfished

you withdraw your time and attention. Go to the gym. Go to your martial arts class. You are busy so you have better things to do than to hang out with a sex denying wife.

This is gonna help me a lot, thanks for this sub!!

First Post so I'll give you my progress: (skip if you dgaf)

  • Found MRP in January

  • I have read the Prerequisites

  • I have read the 101 with the exception of Mindful Action Plan

  • I read Ironwoods Alpha Moves, struggled through Models, and am still struggling through the Art of Seduction.

  • I have read SGM, and delved into the other Graduate stuff. Still swallowing, so I'll have to revisit them all when I'm unplugging.

  • Upped my SMV, lost 40 lbs, about 20 to go until > 12%bf.

  • Lifting the fuck out of heavy things

  • Currently attempting Dread Levels 1-5

My Question I have been implementing Dread 3 and 4, and trying to implement 5, but I am struggling to figure out how 3 and 4 don't contradict with 5.

How and when do I seduce my wife and do kino? If I'm being aloof, distanct, and trying to reduce my dependence on sex/approval.

I have supposed that by being aloof I am seducing my wife, but kino, that's really the hard part.

Here's this morning's example. Last night she tried to make me wait for sex, with that starfishy look in her eyes, I just went to bed instead. I'd rather sleep than put up with her lack of sexual interest.

Woke up at 5, lifted, came home sweaty and swoll, and wife is in the shower. Beta Me wanted to jump in the shower and give it a shot, (knowing she would hate it, she has terribly low self esteem, can't stand being naked in front of me). Alpha me said that I dgaf, and if she wanted to get fucked she had her chance last night.

I dress nice for work, make some coffee, make sure she sees how good I look, and take off. I get a text 5 minutes into my commute:

"Are you coming back?"

"Nope" I reply.

"Are you mad?"

"What? No, gotta get to work."

"Sorry I didn't get my kiss or a goodbye, so I assumed."

-Silence from me, trying to get 2/3 ratio working.

"So..." she tries to stoke up the text convo..

I reply "You get upset when I go in the bathroom while you are in there, nothing personal. Looking forward to tonight, make sure you get a babysitter."

A half an hour goes by and she texts, "Oh sorry, well next time please say goodbye to me and our son"

I reply "Maybe" with a badboy smiley face and sunglasses.

I get to work, feeling confident about my aloofness and distance, but can't help but feel like I missed the opportunity to seduce her and throw some kino out there this morning while she was in the shower.

So do I turn off the distance and OI to do some kino and ten second kisses? Or am I supposed to be mixing them somehow? I am really having trouble coming up with practical ways to reconcile the two.

Feel free to blast me if I'm an idiot, and please let me know how I can improve.

edited for formatting