39 yo. 5'10" 205lbs 17%bf Bp 270, DL470, Squat 365. Side bar completed ad nauseum. I participated in Hunter's first 31DTM via Twitter. At DL 10.
I'm the guy that comes here for the information without providing much value other than the occasional obvious shit post comment. I'm a leach and you guys deserve better for the effort you put in. Honestly, I never really feel like I have much value to add. I've come to the place we are all trying to get to, and in the process I've found myself and lost over 100lbs. Everything I hoped to gain from this process has been achieved and then some. When Rollo suggests that women desire and fear a man that knows his value, he is speaking to me in this moment. I have found my peace and I know my value. When Rollo taught me that desire is not negotiable, he is speaking to me now, only ironically. Here's my problem, my wife is trying so hard to win back my favor and regain my trust. She means it, I know she does. She has made herself available to me in ways I never understood she was capable, in all facets of our marriage. Only, my desire for her has decreased significantly. I want to find her desirable, but the years have fogged my glasses and I can't see my wife for the field.
I was a "nice guy" for ten years. I white knighted her while she completed post graduate studies and internships, being the emotional tampon. She treated me like absolute shit for it, and I resented my covert contracts. For a long time. Fast forward... We have two kids, she's on board with the marriage and I feel a confidence about myself like I've never had, only not about my marriage. I have let the past go, and I am looking forward. My Map is in tact. What I want is to find my wife attractive and have the family that I want, intact. I'm starting to feel that I may not get both.
What has been the experience of others that have arrived to this point concerning a waning attraction for your spouse?
Do the glasses eventually unfog and I should give this time for desire to rebuild?