Title says it all, but I'll elaborate here. The first stage of dread is to identify and pass shit tests. I can identify them but when I either say no (comfort test) or AA/AM it pisses the wife off. She goes from 0 to 100 saying how she feels trapped now, can't wait to divorce me, etc... . Basically attempts to pass shit/compliance tests are responded with anger, yelling, and in some cases violence (hittimg me/throwing things). I've worked in my AA/AM response tone and that has helped some (joking tone not angry... was guilty at first of angry tone and shed call me out on it), but hasn't completely solved it. She still demands appologies for all passed tests, and attempts to AA/AM out of them are responded with more anger, says I take everything as a joke and am immature. Should I intentionally only pass them on occasion and slowly increase frequency, or just keep trying to go all in? I feel like just doing the shit tests right is going rambo. Might not help that I have a few later stages of dread down naturally (dress well, social, already lift heavy, have stuff to do to condition time available, etc). Also for compliance tests, whats the best way to answer no? Just saying no by itself gives a butthurt/angry vibe which would be failing the test at least thats what she interprets.