I lift, I'm fit. I've read the sidebar and then some. I apply it all daily, as best I can. I live a continuous improvement project.

I don't come here often. So interesting to come back and read the posts and recall that 3 years ago I was a wreck too. I thought I'd share what has happened since then.

Left my 2nd wife 3 years ago. 2 young kids. I decided that a relationship with her wasn't worth it to me. I could do much better and be much happier starting over. It would be easier to boot. The sunk cost didn't justify staying around. And so I left.

Was the relationship absolutely terrible ? Not really. Wasn't great though either. My fault for being too pleasing and not doing enough leading. I made mistakes early in the relationship that made it hard to change things later on. Lesson learned.

The divorce has been expensive and acrimonious.

The kids are doing well. They know dad loves them and is always there for them. We are close. It is unfortunate they had this happen in their lives but what has transpired is miles better than what they would have experienced with parents in a bad relationship.

I found RedPill several months before I left. Was the marriage salvageable with enough change from me ? Maybe. Was it what *I* wanted ? Nope. Absolutely not.

I spent the first few months in shock. Dazed really. Learning RP. Learning, learning, learning. Trying to figure out what happened, why I was given so much misinformation about how to be a man. It was like drinking from a firehouse, so much new information, so fast. I was far from a loser in life, but yet I needed to change so much. I had so much UN programming to do it was almost overwhelming.

Moving out made things real and I loved it. I was out in the real world, on my own. Nobody to come home to. Nobody to lean on. Just myself. Sink or swim. Time to learn independence. Lots of opportunity, lots of feedback, good and bad. Every experience is a lesson. Don't complain about the outcome, change things and make it work for you. The world isn't going to change. Every time you expect something "should" work you need to look inside and figure out how YOU will make it work. The world doesn't run on "shoulds". Stop hoping it will. Hope isn't a plan.

Moving out also gave me peace and serenity. At least as much as one can have while going through a divorce. This gave me time and space to think, ponder and learn. It gave me reprieve from having to come home to kids, wife, expectations, etc.

I started dating. I felt alive. Not because I needed a woman or her validation. But because things were raw and real. How would the date go ? Is she interesting ? Is she weird ? What did I even like in a woman ? Was my SMV what I thought it was ? What kind of woman would I attract ? How long could I hold frame when things got tough ? Could I enforce boundaries ? Was I strong enough to walk away if I had to ? In those early days I needed a lot of outside signalling to figure things out.

I did a lot of dating. Many women. It mostly went well. At first it was weird applying RP in my relationships. After a bit it became more normal. Now it is mostly automatic. Of course I faltered from time to time. When things went wrong I generally figured out why and adjusted my behavior. I was able to recover in just about every relationship I was in. Not all. But that is life, that is how you learn. You don't learn by reading a book and acting like a puppet to what it said. You learn by living it, day in, day out, experimenting in real time. Seeing the results. Reaping the joys and suffering the consequences.

I learned a ton dating. It was and is an invaluable life experience. Wanna learn how to get good at free throws ? Shoot a thousand hoops every day. Wanna learn how to have a good relationship with a woman ? Date, date and date some more. Never repeat the same mistake twice. Test your craft, hone your craft.

My recovery kind of had 3 stages. Stage one was mentally untangling myself from my marriage and my wife. Not sure how else to describe that. Stage two was internalizing all the RP stuff and learning to live for myself. Part of that was re evaluating everything - work, friends, women, sex - and making changes. Stage three has been applying what I've learned to build the best life I can for myself.

It is mostly going well. I'm in a bit of a financial jail at the moment, but I'll probably be out soon. I still have some personal development work to do. I've found some good role models. I'm on the right path. I'm progressing well. One foot in front of the other. I'm making continuous progress.

I guess the biggest indicator of success in all this is that I am happy. The change in my life has been overwhelmingly positive. RP probably saved me from another 20 years of misery. Without RP I was doomed to repeat what I'd done in my first two marriages because I had no awareness.

Looking back I'm shocked at how much I've changed, mostly how different my thinking is. But also how strong I am. I'm battle tested. I've burned my life to the ground and rebuilt it, from scratch, under duress. Think you are going to rattle me ? Think again.

I guess this is the part where I tell you about the great woman in my life. And while there is one, that isn't the objective of the exercise. She isn't the reward in all this. She doesn't determine my value or whether this was worth it or not. Yes, she is a nice complement to my life and I enjoy her, but the real reward is what I have become and what I am going to accomplish. I'd miss her for a week if she left, but only a week. I wouldn't give up any of my life to keep her or any other woman.

The purpose of RedPill program is to build the man. I'm happy to report that it is a fantastic program. Good luck* applying it.

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*By luck I mean the engineered serendipity created by working your ass off.