I just don't know

man_in_the_world · 2018-07-24T23:39:22+00:00

Started going to the gym about year and a half ago. ... She will shit test me once or twice a day and literally I just act like I didn't hear it and then minutes later she acts like she never said it.

You have adopted an I'm-afraid-of-my-wife "Dancing Monkey" Attraction Improvement Programme applying only the parts of MRP (lifting and STFU) that avoid directly challenging your wife's frame or risking upsetting her. This usually doesn't accomplish much with your wife.

Slowly started implementing what I learned and started to see some improvements. Sex is not near where it should be but she definitely has improved her attitude towards me considerably. No more snide insults or yelling.

You're fortunate to have achieved some improvements, but you have likely achieved all the Dancing Monkey gains; you're still a pussy reacting to her frame rather than acting from your own, so you now warrant civility but not respect. You will have to implement the more challenging parts of MRP to make further gains with her.

I want to start using what I have learned to ramp up our sex life but I just don't know. I am attracted to her but at the same time I am turned off by her. All those times she was just so nasty and mean to me while I was just pouring my heart out to her has made me ambivalent at best.

You still haven't internalized AWALT and OYS; the problem was always you, not her. A quality woman would not and should not respect or sexually desire a weak, supplicating pussy. Your still mostly blue-pill mindset is resenting her for your own weakness and failure. You haven't yet truly swallowed the red pill.

I just don't know. It seems like it's almost too much trouble. Like I know the juice isn't going to be worth the squeeze. I just don't know.

You want assurance of success before doing the hard work of overcoming your fear of challenging your wife. We can't assure you that it will work with her. But we can assure you that it will work with someone. We can also assure you that you would have ended/will end up in the same place with almost any other woman, so replacing your wife without fixing yourself will very likely bring you to the same place again.

Rian_Stone · 2018-07-24T22:59:23+00:00

Two carriage returns create paragraphs

MrChad_Thundercock · 2018-07-25T00:12:18+00:00

Same story here. I discovered this after 10 years in a deadbedroom when I was 37 and 3 kids. Holy fuck. Was blind but now I see moment.

I was her “nicest” boyfriend ever ! And I doubled down on the niceness and did all the beta things I thought a great husband should do. The egg shells thing I really can understand. I hated that.

Don’t reinvent the wheel. Go Through the steps: the anger phase will be brutal- take it out in the weight room. Let go of the resentment, it will take time. You forced her to take the leadership position but didn’t know it.

It’s your time now faggot. The time is now. A year from now you won’t believe it. I’m 3 years in, I totally different person. My relationship is awesome.

Life/marriage/father/worker is great with red pill knowledge. This place saved my life and marriage. It saved ME.

It is worth it. Stop thinking about the time you lost. Still 50, you can increase your SMV into your mid 50s- you haven’t hit your peak. Go for it. Combined with some day game knowledge, you can start fucking 20 and 30 year olds you silver fox you! Or at least catch and release. The Game is great, time to play.

Report back with a field report in 3 months.

matrixtospartanatLV · 2018-07-25T01:55:47+00:00

I quit.

Two weeks ago I sent out a few PMs and I quit MRP, TRP, and basically life. I was ready to spend the rest of my life here on earth at the bottom of the pit of despair.

But I still had my cell phone. And I still lurked. A few posts tugged at me to respond.

I found my way out of the pit, had a few epiphanies, and still I lurked; determined to take a month off as suggested by the likes of u/88Will88, and u/FireTempered.

It was u/Red-Curious that pointed out my lingering bit of oneitis. Thanks for that, Red.

But YOU, OP, you motherfucker, just sucked me back into this shit.

Right now, go read my first post. It’s easy to find. I’ve only posted twice in over a year. Read that post to put what I’m about to say in perspective.

Read it?

You sure?

Good.

Now, I know who you are, how you are feeling, and how to help you. Unplugging later in life is REALLY HARD. The regret, piled on top of a sense of hopelessness, creates that, ‘I just don’t know’ feeling.

Well, I DO know, so I’m going to share with you, as gently as I can, what I know about you.

You are a lazy, whining, weak-minded, lying, beta pussy full of shit.

“Find Red Pill and holy shit is this for real? Start devouring the materials and my eyes are opened. Started going to the gym about year and a half ago. Slowly started implementing what I learned and started to see some improvements.”

Yes. The Red Pill is for real. The very same one you’ve been holding in your hand since Morpheus handed it to you 18 months ago.

It’s time to SWALLOW THAT MOTHERFUCKER, you moron. You’re late to your own party.

You didn’t devour shit, and your eyes were open long enough to blink. Nobody spends 18 months in TRP, ‘devouring material,’ and ends up like you. Unless you’re a liar, or an idiot.

Yes, you started implementing what you learned, and yes, you saw some improvements. And YES, the improvements stopped when you stopped implementing, you autistic retard.

You are fucking right, you just ‘don’t know.’

You’re LAZY!

Don’t feel bad, most of us are lazy. We tell ourselves stories so our inner child doesn’t have to grow up and ‘gasp,’ actually fucking DO SOMETHING.

Something I learned while walking around the bottom of the pit of despair. It’s a dark motherfucker down there. When you see the light, GO TOWARDS THE LIGHT! In the tunnel of life, the light is not a train coming the other way.

So what’s your ‘story’?

Are you fat?

Are you uneducated?

Are you relatively poor?

Didn’t end up where you wanted to in life?

Unhappy in your marriage?

Unhappy with your sex life?

Well, the bad news is, it’s ALL YOUR FAULT.

And ironically, the good news is; IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

That’s the good news?

Yes, stupid. When you accept responsibility for it being ALL YOUR FAULT, then you can move forward with a plan to FIX YOUR SHIT.

When you TRULY start to devour TRP, you won’t be starving for anything, like you are now, after 18 months of doing next to nothing.

It’s YOUR LIFE.

I feel for you, I really do. But you don’t have a lot of time to fuck around. You’ve already wasted DECADES! Don’t waste another one.

You can’t get to where you want to be in every area of your life. But you CAN be better tomorrow than you are today. That requires you to have a plan and execute, TODAY.

I could go on and on and on.

I’ve been figuring this shit out for OVER A YEAR.

Don’t be me.

Be you.

And do it better than I did.

If you need help, ask.

And based on your previous performance, you REALLY NEED to ask.

You don’t have time to waste. No one does. But us? You and me? Have even less time than most.

Wake the fuck up.

Your wife’s juices may not be worth the squeeze, but

LIFE’S JUICES ARE!

Now, it’s way past time for you to...

GET TO FUCKING WORK.

223552 · 2018-07-24T23:33:06+00:00

Many guys have been where you are now. The resentment,the anger, the frustration. It took me quiet a while to realise, the anger was actually towards myself for being such a pussy all my life. This is important for you to realise and internalize (it will take time...) She is the way she is, because you allowed it and enabled it.

Your wife is only a small part of your whole life. Work on yourself (physical, mental, emotional), hobbies, kids, work etc. Use her for practice (kino, sex, flirting, shit tests, comfort tests).

The rule of thumb around here is 1 month of work for each year of marriage. So you have at least 2 years of work ahead of you.

[deleted] · 2018-07-24T23:02:42+00:00

Her behavior was a reflection of you. You're not turned off by her, but by the fact that you lived most of your life acting like a bitch.

Welcome to the anger phase. You spent decades following the instructions step by step, only to find out later that you were building a sexless life of betadom. It sucks. Do whatever you need to do to come to terms with that or risk wasting even more time focused on a past that you can't change.

SBIII · 2018-07-24T23:11:24+00:00

LOL.

Welcome to MRP.

AlexGreenleaf · 2018-07-25T07:19:59+00:00

What is it you don't know?

Your stay-plan is the same as the go-plan anyway, don't let this hesitation be your excuse to give up and settle, or to jump ship before you've gone through all the steps to regain her respect (which is the actual problem here).

RedPillCoach · 2018-07-28T16:15:41+00:00

I just act like I didn't hear it and then minutes later she acts like she never said it. Jesus, I wish I learned that one decades ago

Unfortunately this advice is less than 10 years old. It is basically a counterculture response to the near total victory of 3rd wave feminism and the destruction of men. Red Pill carries the hopes of the future and is the last stand of men in the Western world. After this there is only darkness and cultural decay turning into an avalanche of cultural destruction.

simbarlion · 2018-07-25T00:38:44+00:00

Well at least just understand we all got here from similar circumstances.

And then realize any improvements are for yourself, yourself alone. My experience is that it is worth it toimprove to get the outside attention. What you do with that attention is your choice.

wkndatbernardus · 2018-07-25T00:49:10+00:00

If you start becoming the man you could be, your ambivalence about your wife won't matter. The point isn't to recover some lost feelings or attraction for her, it's to recover your birthright as that badass alpha-dog. Who gives a shit how you feel at any given moment about that no respect havin B? Or, for that matter, how she feels about you? Paradise is within you, not in something or someone external to you and your choices.

helaughsinhidden · 2018-07-25T01:09:58+00:00

The juice is worth the squeeze, it is not too late. However 25 years of beta means roughly 25 months of rp for full effect. You will enjoy milestones though. What else you gonna do, go back to being a beta bitch?

One of my favorite milestones was realizing I was getting a huge shit test that would have normally resulted in a ling fight and thinking to myself "you know what, I used to fail these, but tonight she is going to suck me off" and actually making it happen.

Besides, being "un-fuck-with-able" is it's own reward. No one can upset you without your permission. Don't listen to the haters, your right to stay humble and teachable, but lose the defeatist or fatalism mindset.

Aditya77-scorpio · 2018-08-10T03:19:29+00:00

Members here can be divided in 3 distinct groups : the beginners, the halfway there and stuck, and the ones who made it across.

This post is extremely valuable in that it resonates with the middle group perfectly, and in that all those who made it across have been through this exact situation in the past.

And therefore I assume that this post has garnered so many responses - each a gem.

I hope this post finds it's way to all of them who are stuck in the middle. All those people in the bell of the curve.

Frosteecat · 2018-10-29T01:26:51+00:00

Some serious gold in here...lots of noobs lately...need to read this thread.

red-sfpplus · 2018-07-24T22:35:22+00:00

I know what you can do with your low value post and bullshit life.

Fuck off.

[deleted] · 2018-07-24T22:35:19+00:00

Title	I just don't know
Author	mikerodgers0
Upvotes	3
Comments	45
Date	July 24, 2018 10:32 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/91m3uu/i_just_dont_know/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/i-just-dont-know.204170 https://theredarchive.com/post/204170