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[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 6 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
I acted like everything was fine
was it?
Texted the wife a picture of us having fun.
That'll show her!
I discretely took of her ass as she was bending over to pick something up earlier in the day.
This is new to me. Anyone else know if this is a thing or not?
Decent ending, A few tweaks in being deliberate, but you had a goal and reached it, thats the goal right?
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Not gonna lie and say I've mastered OI already, but what I meant by "acted like everything was fine" was that I knew she was still upset with me but I "acted" like she wasn't. In the past I would have gone the whole day barely speaking to her, being so butthurt, withdrawing all of my attention to "punish her". This time I made a conscious effort to bring up casual convo, flirted, smacked her ass, and initiated when I wanted to...when I knew damn well a rejection would occur.
[–][deleted] 4 points5 points6 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I see, a couple tweaks for you to internalize
not that you pretended she wasnt... It's that you didn't care if she was, because its just feelings, nothing substantial.
And I am a huge fan of the one idea you're going with. It's only when youve lost everything, you're free to do anything. Accepting the failure before it starts is the easiest way to avoid old thought patterns, and avoid expectations.
good job on no buckling over a few tears.
[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
usually isn't.
[–][deleted] 6 points7 points8 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I will say this. The man didn't give a fuck if she cried...
You know how much further men here would be, if they didn't treat her 'getting mad' or crying as a reason to jag it in?
[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They would go alot farther when they realize they don't have to cater to her emotions.
[–]fuckmrpRed Beret5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
and wouldn't it blow their minds to realize that she will still fuck you, even though you made her mad.
[–][deleted] 8 points9 points10 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
probably made the sex better.
anger isn't your enemy. it's a strong emotion. and girls get wet over strong emotions
[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
No this is wrong! My mom and sister and first 4 girlfriends all assured me that girls get wet when you bring them flowers and do what they say.
[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
inherently I don't see a problem with it. other than maybe it was done secretly? That doesn't sit well but maybe because it smells of validation
Still taking a pic of your girl shouldn't be an issue.
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yea I didn't put much thought into it. I liked how her ass looked at a particular moment so I took a photo of it. Then later I found it on my phone, forgetting I even took it, and thought "My bitch has a great ass. I should let her know.."
[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This is totally a thing. My wife loves finding pics I took of her ass when she wasn't looking. Her profile pic in my phone is just a pic of her ass.
[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
This is a pretty good FR but I wouldn't break your wrist jerking yourself off just yet. Good sex is your department and if this is something that keeps occurring you need to rethink your overall strategy. You are missing alot of the DEVI but you are also trying to pull this off too soon. If she is not receptive you are not valuable enough yet. Take a moment to work over where you are missing in the overall dominance of your household that has led her to be the leader in the bedroom.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Spot on. One of my goals is to take over the disciplinary role for my household. I've always been the carefree, fun dad and my wife was the one to always bring down the hammer on behavior problems with the kids. This is one area I know I can improve on and earn points in the dominance & leadership department. I've already made some moves in this area.
[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Do it one little step at a time. We don't need another rambo.
[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We don't need another rambo
Or we'll need a good supply 'a body bags
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
bring down the hammer on behavior problems with the kids
Just a little advice... I wouldn't suggest bringing down the hammer on the kids. That's not really what they need. Never let your kids see that they have rattled you. They need leadership and you're the confident, rock of man that is going to lovingly correct your kids when they need it.
I'm pretty sure you already know that just wanted to highlight that being harsh with the kids will produce results you don't want.
Best of luck and congrats on rejecting bad sex.
I just did this twice last week. She said she was interested but exhausted and laid there like I should do all the work. I told her we'd just cuddle. Normally, I would have been in tears and almost heartbroken from the "rejection". The odd thing was that I was able to not be butt hurt about it and actually just enjoy spooning.
In the morning, she was a bit sheepish because she refused me the night before and said, "I'll give you 2 minutes". Normally, I would have grovelled for that and had humiliating, shitty sex. Nope, not this time. Keep your 2 minutes. I have things to do. Was also able to not be butt hurt and get up and make coffee.
[–]RPJMRP2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good post, congrats on the win, and it is a win. But you are still in her frame a good bit. I know that is a term thrown around a lot around these parts so let me illustrate a few things to you.
First, you obviously implored some acting and covert contracts through this process.
For instance, "I would normally be a butt hurt bitch over this, but I had mentally prepared to reject the starfish and knew this would be the outcome" - This is a bit of "fake it to you make it." That's cool, we all have to start somewhere.
However, what would have happened if you would have dove into the process? If you would have talked dirty why holding her from behind and fingering her? When she demurred if you jumped into an aggressive position and tried again? You engaged in ego protection. You were scared to be vulnerable. This is unattractive. The high-value man isn't butthurt when he gets rejected because he understands there are more than one option. He rarely gets rejected because he acts like there is more than one option.
You went into this process looking to fail. You were guarding your ego. You told yourself, "I bet this low-value harpy tries to give me starfish again." So you set the expectation that you would accept the starfish sex, then you flipped the script and essentially said "This isn't going to work." Why fake it at all? Internalize this shit and stop waiting for her to respond the way you want. Make your frame so robust that she can't leave that arena.
Stop testing her. That is a woman's game and you will lose it in the long run. Be direct in your intentions. If you want rough sex, initiate roughly. If you want kinky sex, then toss her a ball gag and put on a cocky smile.
You're the man she wants to be in bed with right? If you are that type of man, then why are you leaving it to her to initiate? Why are you setting up for the "sideways" sex you don't like?
Again, congrats on the progress, but don't forget your end goal. You won't win this game long term. You are playing checkers. She is playing chess. The testing bullshit is her world.
It's easier to just be a high value man than fake being one. On a side note, good job owning shit with your kids.
Combination of powerful factors here everyone should take note on. OP does not fake his DNGAF mindset in order to punish his wife, he truly DNGAF. OI goes hand in hand with this. He initiates and is prepared for the rejection but does not stop gaming his wife in the aftermath. This sends the message to her that she cannot punish or control him through denying him sex. Her emotions also do not sway him from his MAP. Good FR, sir, keep up the good fight.
[–]BobbyPeru1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
Don't DEER, especially during sex.
Also, you're kidding yourself if you think she didn't see your butthurt. As soon as you defended, the butthurt became visible.
[–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Good FR, nice result and you have acknowledged you're still on the path.
[–]TheMiniLiar points points points 6 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
Congratulations on mentally abusing your wife. Big mannnnn here making your wife cry so that you can manipulate her into having sex the way you want it. Instead of just idk having a conversation with her about it. In complete seriousness dude this is like the dictionary definition of emotionally manipulating someone. Get counseling
[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
In complete seriousness dude this is like the dictionary definition of emotionally manipulating someone.
please point out where OP manipulated wife. OP refused shitty sex as is his right.
thanks for the link btw, very balanced post.
Dude have you read this post? The OP is so passive aggressive and shit that the wife is CRYING AND QUESTIONING HER MARRIAGE. In any community other then this one that is that would be a big problem, but here it is "progress." Sure he can refuse shitty sex but marriages are built on mutual respect and communication not being standoffish and crude tell you get your way because your wife is trying to hold your marriage together.
I hope that "the less I care the more I get" works in divorce court.
[–][deleted] 2 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
because your wife is trying to hold your marriage together.
Where do you get this assumption from? How does closing her eyes and gritting her teeth every time we bang equate to her trying to keep the marriage together?
What if I told you I have communicated more times than I care to count the lack of satisfaction I have in the bedroom? What if I told you that she cries when I communicate this to her? And what if I told you I ended up here at MRP because no matter how hard I tried to communicate nothing changed, but in fact got worse?
If anyone is trying to keep the marriage together, it is me. Because if shit doesn't change, I am out. And I know for a fact that if she was single tomorrow, she would do things in bed with a new partner that she hasn't done with me in years. Why? Because she would need to win the approval of the new partner. She doesn't think she needs to win my approval since we're married with kids. But she is wrong and I am finally doing something about it.
Look, when it really comes down to it I don't know your marriage and life because I am not you or your wife. However, when I read your post you look like a real a-hole. Maybe that's just because I am not really a part of this "community" but I got to say as an outsider it looked prettty bad. And if a random passerby on the internet had as bad a reaction to it as I did, I wonder how your kids and neighbors see it.
Sorry these next two paragraphs I get to my point.
I would love to hear your wife's point of view on the matter, I bet that would be different and who knows, maybe it would change my opinion of you. But for now all I have got are your POSTS ONLINE. Maybe everything you say is true, but you are giving a really angry and one sided perspective on this. It is a well known fact that abusive husbands will often twist things in their favor to rationalize what they are doing. You don't think abusive husband talk on the internet about how bad their wives are to them?
Or maybe your wife is as horrible as you say and I am being harsh to a super cool dude who would be my best bud irl. I DON'T KNOW. So maybe you two should go see a marriage counselor in real life instead of getting marriage solutions from people on the internet who will do nothing but feed your beliefs. Anonymity is good sometimes but sometimes it is the worst thing possible. You two need real world help not my help or the help of any of these other screen names on the internet.
This is my last post on the topic because it is stressing me out and that is not helping me with finals. I will read a response if you feel the need to send. Have fun picking apart my post and shitting on me. Good luck random internet person, I hope you and your wife fix this shit one way or another.
I'm out.
So maybe you two should go see a marriage counselor in real life
Been there, done that.
I understand where you are coming from. Honestly, I do. As an outsider, TRP and MRP may seem like it's full of dudes who just simply hate women. And I'll agree that there are some "strategies" that I don't believe in or practice, but this community is just a collection of ideas. A box of tools. I pick and choose which ones I believe will be useful and and ignore the ones I don't agree with.
But there is a reason why people come here. For most, it is their last ditch effort to save the relationship.
Spend 10 minutes scrolling through r/deadbedrooms and tell me how many success stories you come across. Read about all of the "communicating" they've done and how the marriage counseling went.
Then compare that to the results in the posts you see here. It is night and day.
And if I was in any way emotionally abusing my wife, then why did her pussy get so wet? Sounds crude, but it is the truth. She was dripping.
[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
yeah I read it, a woman (or man) cries . . . meh; people do it all the time for lots of reasons
tried to determine if you have any standing to even comment in here; and found:
("I have never had sex.")[https://www.reddit.com/r/Incels/comments/651anm/inceldom_is_not_about_sex_lack_of_sex_is_a_tiny/dgflobz/]
nope, nothing to add other than your feefees and a total lack of experience or awareness.
[–]NightFire452 points3 points4 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I stopped reading after:
Users advise doing things like keeping her guessing, changing what you want and then berating her for not keeping up with your whims. Several advise that you never show affection for her unless she’s done something to please you. You break them like you'd break an animal.
Clearly the poster hasn't been reading any red pill material and has cherry picked some borderline posts. This is much more blue pill of covert contracts and being butt hurt.
Interestingly enough the most up voted (with gold no less) reply is basically red pill mantra.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
A couple of concerns, though overall it's a huge improvement over the usual victim puke/ validate through her bullshit that comes here.
Overall good, congrats you're making progress. On mobile here so specific quotes aren't easy:
"Request a blowjob"- no dude that ever deserved a blowjob had to request one. If she isn't volunteering, grab her by the back of the neck or by the base of the hair and initiate said blowjob. If she isn't receptive you have self improvement to do.
"I tell her everything will be ok"- don't bullshit her. If she doesn't modify her behavior, everything won't be ok. The whole point of MRP, Right? Fix the man, the marriage will either come around or dissolve. It's hard not to be the comforter in that situation, but don't make false promises.
The covert picture- you know your relationship. It'll seem odd to some, but if it works for you go with it. In my case I would've made a big deal of it immediately- "wait dear hold still". (Snap picture). Send to her immediately. "See, that's a nice ass. My girlfriend would agree" with laughing tone. But that's all a matter of your specific relationship- if you say it's all good then you know the better than us.
Overall, a big improvement from where you started. Congrats. Still work to be done, but small victories build confidence for bigger campaigns.
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