My wife will tend to ask questions that I feel would just be so much easier to explain to her than treat them as shit test.

Regarding my post the other day. She brought up the next morning about me “talking shit” about her.

I said. No one was talking shit. And switched the conversation. Is that considered deering?

Then I was at the gym. I texted her before and said my battery was about to die. It died at the gym. I charge it on the way home in my car and she text me “why are you forwarding my calls”

I said my battery died.

She starts going off on how if it died it wouldn’t have rang at all and it rang 2 times then went to voicemail. Ignored it till I got home.

I get home shes all pissed. I walk in with a smile. Greet the dog. Say hi. She brings it up. Allll this shit about how I can’t tell the truth. I’m disrespectful. Lying. This and that.

I treated it as a shit test in the beginning. I said I was at the strip club I didn’t want to be bothered. She kept going. Then I AA and blow something she says totally out of proportion and she literally takes it seriously. And keeps going on about that now.

I say I’m clearly kidding.

I feel as thought it would have been better to go. Why the fuck would I lie about that. I have no reason to forward your calls. I was at the gym. I was lifting. There’s no reason to lie. Calm the fuck down.

So I say something similar to that only less words. And she calms down. But I recognize this as DEERing. But don’t see why it’s bad in this example.

These situations happen all the time where I feel it’s better to just say you’re over reacting. Calm the hell down. Because she makes these things up in her head sometimes.

It’s like she doesn’t take my AA lightly. She finds my AM disrespectful because she wants me to feel like I’m listening to her problems I guess. I’m assuming I’m messing up somewhere in here or missing something. Or is this just the way it goes. Kind of like the thousand foot rope analogy and I need to slow it down?