Is this just anger?

May 16, 2019

Full disclosure- there will be some "she's and "hers" in here but overall i am trying to work this out for myself.

Trying to completely unplug has been very trying. The more I see the more i hate. And yes there are times that i get mad at the dog for barking and being a dog because some dogs don't bark as much. I am only about 4 months into this whole thing. I started posting in oys, still lift 5 days/wk, 33, 6'3", 200lbs, ~9%bf ,married 9yrs, 3 kids. I have read almost all of the sidebar, listening to some of chateau now. Some of the manipulation and shit tests i am seeing amuse me. I have learned to stfu but at times i dont want to. My anger for the hypergamous behavior seriously pisses me off. I really want to call this shit out when i see it but to what end? I see that this will likely do nothing for me so i resist. For instance, wife went out with a friend last weekend. I really could care less when she goes, i enjoy spending time with my kids without her. She stayed out late and i went to bed. The dogs woke me up around 3am and then shortly after she came home. I believe she was trying to make me jealous telling me that her and friend played the "we are lesbians" game. Undoubtedly to get as much attention as possible. She was telling me what some of them were saying to her in which i replied with something about getting hit on by only losers. We proceeded to fuck into the wee hours of the morning (shitty sex). At first, i ignored the behavior of obviously trying to induce attention but it ate away at me when i thought back on it later. This is where i want to take my anger at her behavior out and essentially tell her she should've gone home with one of them and not come back. It is taking an obvious toll on my day to day, as i really dont want to be around her let alone be friendly. Hoping for some advice to deal with this, is it just anger that i need to accept and deal with? Or is there more going on that i am not seeing?

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Post Information
Title Is this just anger?
Author insanelyunclever
Upvotes 11
Comments 29
Date May 16, 2019 2:48 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
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[–]redwall9214 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you want to be married to a woman who doesn't get hit on if/when she goes out? Do you want to be married to a woman who has such a low SMV that nobody would dare think about trying to take a poke at her? If you do, then find some land-whale and go to town, man.

Now ... on the other hand ... Do you want to be married to a woman who doesn't want to stay loyal/faithful to you? Obvious answer is no.

So you RP it up and let her go out and don't care. But we all know you care. You care so much you have to puke it up in a wall of text about how much you don't care and how much attention she got and the zingers you wish you had said in the moment but instead you had "shitty sex."

Damn ... you care. You bet you care.

Maybe you should spend some time considering if you give your wife enough attention so she doesn't feel like going around like a deeply closeted lesbian seeking something in the bars at 2a. Maybe. Don't really care. That's up to you. Some women bark more than others.

Is this just anger? Meh. I don't know what label to throw on your reaction to your wife's behavior. Other than to point out that you are reacting to your wife's behavior. This toll on your day to day ... this is a reaction to your wife's behavior.

You're speaking something to yourself. Figure out what you want to speak to yourself, and then speak that to yourself instead.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Patrice O'Neal was talking about how women won't admit it, but they want a man who can get girls. Then he said,

"I don't want no girl I can send to the store at 3 o'clock in the damn morning!

Applies here OP.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Before, in the relationship, there were two people. Nice-guy you and her.

Now there are three. The you that you want to be, your old nice-guy you and her.

So you are wrestling with him, mostly he still wins , sometimes rp aware you wins. When he wins he gets you to release that anger and aim it at her and you behave like a nice-guy. When you win you rise above it and apply technique properly.

You need to throw covert contract nerd rage nice guy you in the dumpster.

Because you're still acting like a nice-guy.

You say you read NMMNG. I think you need a reread because you are still full of all the shit that goes through his head.

[–]redwall927 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Before, in the relationship, there were two people. Nice-guy you and her.

Now there are three. The you that you want to be, your old nice-guy you and her.

Jason Isbell - Live Oak

There's a man who walks beside me

It is who I used to be

And I wonder if she sees him

and confuses him with me

Isbell can put out both the reddest and the bluest songs. Some are a harsh mix of both. Love a ton of that guy's music.

[–]lololasaurus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for posting this.

I haven't posted my situation here, but it is clear to be that I am in a new situation that requires I go reread NMMNG.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

So she goes out, comes back at 3am, wakes you up, proceeds to annoy with some stupid shit about lesbians and you reward her with your cock.

Why are you angry with her? Because she doesn't respect you? This is your fault. You should be angry at yourself.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't believe there's an inherent negative here. I am indifferent to anything that isn't problem behavior in frequency or purpose, so I don't have the same view on GNO as others.

If she went out, came home, and fucked her husband.... Is it really a problem? Validation notwithstanding, if her outlet for the validation is her monogamous partner, what is there to scold?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is an excellent point and something i realized shortly after. I rewarded the shitty behavior. I am a dumbass.

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Don't agree with SBIII just because it validates your current beliefs. I'm not saying he's wrong, but I'm pretty sure you're taking the easy way out here.

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Flair checks out

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret5 points6 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Of everything I've learned from MRP, knowing that I'm really just angry at myself has been the most beneficial. I wallowed in the anger phase for what seemed like an eternity. It passed, but not until I recognized it's not my wife, or society, or Chad, or anyone else...but ME that I'm actually angry at.

Be the fucking prize and you'll stop feeling jealous when she goes out and plays these games. A married woman would have to be a fucking fool to cheat on a high value husband.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am trying to identify the feeling i got from it, maybe its jealousy, not really sure. I do want to know what it is so i can proceed to kill it. Maybe i dont need to know but go on with killing it anyways. I do find myself being angry at everything else and try to redirect it at myself to force improvement.

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Direct it towards the iron. I did this, it works well. Biggest issue now is that the anger is mostly gone, and I need to find other sources of energy and motivation for lifting.

[–]Cam_Winston211 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

OPs post history said she already cheated (emotional, which means unless it was with someone on the Internet & on the other side of the planet, it wasn't just emotional).

[–]ChokingDownRPRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Where do you see that? If that's the case, the past forward should be clear, though it's not what OP would want to hear.

[–]Cam_Winston213 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm using an old tablet running iOS 7 so linking Reddit isn't easy on the antenna app, but OP submitted one post in the NMMNG sub and within it it says she cheated. Among other things, all that add up to a low quality wife.

IMO, Chances a known cheater simply got horny on a GNO -that ended after 3am- instead of at LEAST making out & grinding (at least) with randos for validation & came home for guilt sex in order for her to feel less like the slut that she is & more like a loving wife, would be slim.

[–]FoxShitNasty831 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This 100% get out of her head. This is about you. Find healthy ways to deal with your anger, lift, diary it, talk to a trusted friend all this and STFU to your wife. Work on your self esteem, raise your value, for you.

[–]JudgeDoom696 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re in the Anger phase, which is normal and will pass.

The next time she wants to play the lesbian game, suggest a threesome.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Is this just anger?”

No. Faggotry as well.

Anger phase is normal, shut the fuck up.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So your wife went out with friends and came home horny for you, but not the correct type of horny so you’re pissed?

[–]itiswr1ttenRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Roughly in agreement with this guy.

If you are her sexual outlet, what's the damn problem?

[–]BostonBrakeJob2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My anger for the hypergamous behavior seriously pisses me off.

You know it's anger. Dipshit. You're also aware on some level that the anger is your problem, not hers. So good on you there.

You're still insecure. Still butthurt (this is why the sex was shitty). And yes...still angry.

Good news is, it'll pass. Maybe. That depends on you too. STFU and get to work.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So your girl goes out w/ a girlfriend and they act like gays? Was it for more attention and free drinks or are you just a jealous bitch?

Then your girl comes home and fucks you”into the wee hours of the morning” - so you fucked for 10mins or 3hrs?

But apparently it was “shitty sex”? Like how?

Without any of these questions answered, it just seems like your an autistic dumbass.

[–]Cam_Winston214 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or is there more going on that i am not seeing?

Besides a wife & mother of 3 kids clubbing into the wee hours of the morning, who flat out tells you that she acts in an unwifely manner?

[–]Rogue684862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


Is the goal for OP to become more alpha so she wont do this shit

Or become more alpha so he doesnt care about this shit

Or become.more alpha to set boundaries on this and work through expectations with her?

[–]anakun1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Waking up to the real world causes anger and you are squarely in the middle of it. I would suggest you get familiar with the 7 stages of grief as you are just getting started on opening your eyes. You definitely need to focus on monk mode.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you all. Back to the gym. Thinking old ego is flaring and getting in my way. I was really confused as to why this got to me, but fuck it. I appreciate it and try not to miss another opportunity to stfu.

[–]adeptintact1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she's going out a lot with her friends to party late at night, she's already fucking Chad.

[–]onionknightofknee0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dont get mad. She wants you to keep your cool, we want you to keep your cool. Just return the favor sometime with guys night out and come back at 3am.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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