Leaving as retribution

A_Rex · 2016-07-01T14:41:52+00:00

Looking forward to some good replies myself. As for the looking butthurt thing? Check out this post by u/[deleted] here

redearththeory · 2016-07-01T15:03:12+00:00

What is a better rejoinder to being called out on leaving as retribution?

I usually hang out for a few min after a rejection and make small talk to show it doesn't matter, because it doesnt. Then, if questioned I'd go with - "Its fine, but I'm very busy and this is boring. I'm going to do something more interesting."

[deleted] · 2016-07-01T15:08:40+00:00

its always going to look like retribution if you leave when really that's the only thing she can think of that you have to do...

make it a routine to have something to do at all times that could be in need of doing. Build a home gym.

Then go do that.

Its not that " you are doing it in retribution". It's that, well there are 5 things to do. She was higher on the list. She bumped herself off the list... oops for her... gotta go--- mow the lawn, read a book, go to starbucks / wall-mart / neighbors house to fix her crap... etc

pussy is not special... her pussy, even less so.

[deleted] · 2016-07-01T18:27:48+00:00

A while back in the turnover phase , I got the shut down, it was early on a weekend night. I wasn't going to just sit around and watch a movie. Well we were going to originally after some 1 on 1 time. But that's when she called an audible and said no.

So I prepped to leave told her I wasn't ready to veg and wanted to go do something fun as I now had excess energy to spare.

She then changed her mind.

But SPECIFICALLY told me it wasn't to keep me from leaving.

It wasn't star fish, we both had a good time then chilled out and watched a movie.

It was specifically to keep me from leaving.

So

"That's cool. Get some rest for tomorrow then. I'm going to go burn off some steam. I'm wide awake."

Leaving to say you need to clear your head indicates it has IMPACT on you. That's IGAF not IDGAF.

You're a fucking rock with shit to do and energy to spare. And if the party isn't here... then there's one elsewhere.

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-07-01T15:26:52+00:00

If you are leaving because of something she's doing, are you really being outcome independent? Or are you essentially still in her frame and making decisions based off how she is behaving. If it's the latter, then she's called you out on it and she's right. You're still her little bitch who scurries off when mommy rages...

So the trick is to either have something already planned you need to attend to (working out, martial arts) or a project elsewhere in the home you want to work on instead of engaging her. If you just storm out of the house with no real plans, then you're directly responding to her actions...which is the opposite of the goal and it looks weak.

So then when she asks if you're leaving as retribution, now you smile and say..."Nah gonna go get ripped and check out gym bunnies...Toodles." Or something less confrontational if you're not yet known for being a sarcastic asshole...

BluepillProfessor · 2016-07-01T15:34:57+00:00

How does one remain 30% butthurt? Stop hamstering your 'only sorta' failures. She shot you down, you got up to leave. Then you had to open your big, retarded piehole. Couldn't you at least have made it funny, so you could bullshit us into thinking it was AA? Cmon man, you're not even trying here.

Tell you what, next time, tell her you forgot the pie in the oven and don't want it to burn, and sound genuinely concerned over burning your pie. That should confuse her long enough for you to get out of the house before she tries to throw another softball at you to strike out on. Then when you get back, and you feel the need to DEER yourself, you can then talk about saving the pie, then dropping it on the way home, instead of talking about your feelings.

Or just throw this at her vagina, it's much more efficient.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-07-01T16:47:29+00:00

"Oh, you are leaving as retribution now?"

No I am leaving because I have better things to do than to hang with a woman who doesn't want to share my bed.

Butthurt is bad, but you have a right to your righteous anger. Own it.

UEMcGill · 2016-07-01T20:10:13+00:00

This is a great time for "Fake it till you make it"

Remember you are not communicating content to her, she hears feeling. So when you say "No, if I wanted..." I can't even quote it all because all she's hearing is "I'm butt hurt..."

So here, jump up put on your boots and leave. Tell her "Ok babe, I'm off." If she asks you if you are butt hurt, cram that feeling to verbally vomit all over her and just fake that shit. "Nope, I've got things to do otherwise"; cold, unemotional, void of feeling

You want her hamster spinning up on it's wheel. Her head needs to process, "Hmmm I reject him, he goes elsewhere." Because eventually her hamster is going to start asking, "hmm what else is better than me?". Let the hamster spin. Don't feed it with emotion.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2016-07-01T14:48:05+00:00

Wife: "Oh, are you leaving as retribution now?"

Husband: *No response

Just get up and go do something else. OP's response, while probably an ok and honest one if he's going to say anything, is DEERing.

STaying and arguing isn't retribution. It's analysis. It's DEERing also.

A man does not have to justify where he goes or what he does after he's been rejected for sex. It's his fucking house. He can do whatever the fuck he wants there. He can roll over and go to sleep. He can roll over and start reading a book. He can go downstairs and watch TV. He can go rub one out if he really feels the need to. He can get dressed and go out.

He is entitled to do whatever he wants when he wants, without explanation. He certainly doesn't have to explain what he's doing or why to a bitchy wife who is rejecting him. Saying ANYTHING just looks like butthurt.

jeeohnjones · 2016-07-01T15:20:52+00:00

Staying and arguing is just punching yourself in the nuts.

druganswer · 2016-07-02T01:01:34+00:00

Well, first off you DEERed that pretty hard. And you basically lied to her.

I think I'm going to garner some shit from the regulars for this, but "I wanted to have sex, if you don't want to have sex right now I don't want to be around you."

At least that's the truth.

Then, I guess work on yourself for changing that from being the truth... or else own it.

What would you do if she was as 5/10 last resort booty call you had that didn't put out? You would leave and you would either give her some complete bullshit on why you were leaving to spare the drama or you would give it to her straight. But you definitely would not make up some "I need to clear my head" bullshit to protect her feels.

Mikeortman1 · 2016-07-02T01:18:31+00:00

Leaving would start a huge fight

WhiteTrashKiller · 2016-07-02T12:12:03+00:00

However, you were butthurt, she knew it, you knew it. You did not display any value to her by leaving, she is inexperienced and capitulated by having sex with you upon your return instead of pouncing on the opportunity.

She has the tools but not the knowhow to frag you with a brain grenade yet. Once it clicks, that she sees your butthurt, you leave after rejection, etc. She will start making demands upon your return prior to doling out a lil poon. Does Choreplay get you hard? You'd better get used to it.

You need to display the notion that your time is valuable, right now you're not. In exchange for spending some of your time with her, you expect sexual availability. If she rejects, go to the gym. Use that energy to better yourself. Hell, go to sleep get up at 5am and go workout, hike, anything that increases your value outside of the home as well as increasing your availibility to interact with other people. Your life is your own, as you get better others with make themselves available to you.

Title	Leaving as retribution
Author	SteelToeShitKicker
Upvotes	5
Comments	30
Date	July 1, 2016 2:24 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4qrzgd/leaving_as_retribution/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/leaving-as-retribution.207353 https://theredarchive.com/post/207353