LTR/Fiancee job relocating, how to deal?

August 30, 2018

So here's my situation. I'm 36, engaged to 33 y/o. I'm divorced with kid from previous marriage, just got a big promotion, nearly 6 figures now (well above average for my area), very stable company, and not paying any child support due to custody arrangement.

My fiancee recently got a new job working in the fashion industry which put her salary close to mine. Jobs in that field are pretty hard to come by around here. Well within a couple weeks of her starting the company says they are relocating across the country. She wants to be able to relocate, keep our options open, etc.

I'm not in a position to move. Even if I wanted to (I don't), I'd either have to go through a lengthy and expensive custody battle to get full custody of my kid, and then deal with him traveling, finding a new job for myself etc. Or give up a lot of time with him, and end up paying child support. I'm not moving, this is not an option, she knows this.

So she's suggesting that we do "long distance" for a time while we figure out how to get her a different job here (they are offering a big relocation incentive with a 12 month commitment). I'm not into this. Unless you're in the military and deployed, I think long distance is for suckers.

But I'm struggling with how to approach setting a fucking boundary here. Just tell her to make a choice? How should I approach this situation? Call off the wedding?

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Post Information
Title LTR/Fiancee job relocating, how to deal?
Author Opposite_Philosophy
Upvotes 11
Comments 67
Date August 30, 2018 4:08 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
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