My wife used a stun gun on me and I took it

July 19, 2017

Good Day, I am ready for the lashing to begin as it is nothing that I haven't endured from my wife (SAHM) as I am beta as fuck. To start I have read the side bar every ounce of it some twice. I rambo'd for the first couple of weeks and now I think that I am trying to figure out my long game. Six months ago about 2 1/2 months before I found this site my wife and I got into a huge blow out fight and I was attempting to verbally spar with her and lost as expected but didn't back down at all. So instead of her backing down she tasered me with a 1Kw taser not as bad as you would think. This was not the first time that she has become extreme. We have been married 8 years and now I finally woke up to find the boat in the rocks and her on a long tether line. No cheating and sex once a week and when she is ovulating everyday if not twice a day. She got into this marriage at the wall but honestly is still hotter then women a decade younger(35). Crazy hot came with just plain crazy.

  I do not want to taker her verbal and physical abuse anymore. So I came here and started reading the side bar and working out 3x a week, spending time apart - picking up old hobbies etc. But then some medical problems got worse and now the doctor has revoked my drivers license for the time being so I can not even get out of the house unless I walk which we live in a rural area so that doesn't work.

  I was leaning on getting my shit together and if she didn't respond leave her and work my ass off to get some good custody rights for my only daughter(toddler age) but now that I can not drive things have gotten much worse as we spend way too much time together!

  What I am looking for is a productive lashing to get me heading in the right direction again while I am stuck at home suffering through illness and my wife. This was a quick and poorly worded just trying to find the little time I have alone to write this. Like I said beta as can be and working to change but I see this as a long long road ahead.


  Finally have time to write again. Thank you for all the advice! I realized more than anything that I have normalized her behavior and ignored and moved on too easily in the past. As my post earlier was poorly written, the taser attack was over 2 months ago and she has not physically abused me sense. Probably because I have walked on eggshells and tried to not rock the boat but now I am done playing along in her game! I will meet with a lawyer tomorrow and discuss what options that I have going forward as I do not have any physical evidence and was told that without witnesses or evidence that the authorities are unlikely to believe me and if she is really that crazy she will probably hurt herself and blame me and then I will end up in jail. So I am going to go sit down tomorrow morning and figure out my options going forward.

  The doctors have told me that they think that it is menieres with otolithic crisis of Tumarkin. I know you can not make this stuff up, crazy name. Vertigo (the world looks like it is spinning but you are sitting still and I randomly fall over without warning, but it has been getting better with some drugs. So I am hoping that I will be fine but I was told it is something that comes and goes the rest of your life and there is not sh*t you can do about it and I am losing my hearing in the process.

  I feel like less of a victim now then I ever have. Thank you for all the posts!

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Post Information
Title My wife used a stun gun on me and I took it
Author R-McElridge
Upvotes 9
Comments 49
Date July 19, 2017 12:12 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
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[–]2ndal5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You married crazy and it sounds like your hellbent on staying despite multiple instances of physical abuse and god knows what else. Stop making excuses. This post, and your life, is filled with them.

[–]chachaChad4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

The right fucking direction is out the door... right now. Close your browser and pack a small bag. Walk out the front door and never come back. Walk to your local police station and report her abuse. Explain that you will not go home and seek assistance from any friends or family you may have.

[–]R-McElridge[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Sham is a powerful thing. I hate to let anyone know that, I let her do that to me. And that this is going on and I didn't take my daughter with me. She has never verbally or pyshically abused her nor do I think she will. I think that I slowly let this happen over time and let it slowly become normal. When something is normal it is hard to leave but I am planning right now on how I am going to leave. The system is f***Ed up and no police officer any where I live is going to take me seriously.

[–]chachaChad1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You're exactly right. Shame is a powerful thing and people will put up with some fucked up shit because of shame.

I know a lot about shame and the best, fastest way to handle it is to plant your feet on the floor and tell yourself you are an oak. You are a rock. It doesn't matter one goddamn bit what other people think of you. You are the judge of your own behavior and it is not acceptable for anyone including your wife to abuse. You need to end this today, not tomorrow or sometime when you think it will be easier. Right fucking now...

Shame is powerful but it's no where near as powerful as the truth and the truth is that your wife is hurting you. Your post is full of victim talk. You didn't taser yourself. Stop that. She did this and it's her fault no matter what. As far as the shame goes, pick up the phone and call someone. Call your mother and father. Call your family. Call brothers. Call sisters. Tell them what is going on. Call your best friend. Call for help because you need it. She needs it. Your daughter needs it. Tell them everything. Yea, you're going to feel shame but that shame is keeping you from getting help for yourself and your family. You need to be a big enough man to put into words for people around you what is going on so YOU can make it stop.

A funny thing happens when you finally spill that awful secret you're holding. You stop being a prisoner to it. You took the step to post here and look what happened. Now have some really fucking courage and tell everyone within a 100 mile distance what is going on. Be that guy that stood up for yourself and your daughter.

As far as thinking you wife won't abuse your daughter, fuck you. Stop that rationalization right now. Your daughter is in immediate emotional and physical danger and you have found some way to hamstering about it. Sure you're wife's not going to taser your daughter... right now. She'll build and build until it's real emotional and physical and when it's too late, you'll wish you had done something... but you didn't because you were ashamed. Fuck shame.

[–]resolutions3160 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Your daughter is in immediate emotional and physical danger and you have found some way to hamstering about it. Sure you're wife's not going to taser your daughter... right now. She'll build and build until it's real emotional and physical and when it's too late, you'll wish you had done something... but you didn't because you were ashamed. Fuck shame.

Read this five more times.

You "think" your daughter is safe. If you act on that belief, and you're wrong....what's the potential downside? How could you live with that?

[–]R-McElridge[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you I read it five times then dialed a lawyer.

[–]resolutions3161 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wish you the best, man. You can do this. There is a better life waiting for you and your kid.

[–]straius0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shame has no power over you that you don't grant it. It's not the shame that has power of you, it's you that have the ability to undercut yourself and maintain the yolk of a victim.

So would you rather maintain your victim-hood or deal with some temporary shame that will subside and leave you realizing it never fucking mattered.

Then you can start beating yourself up about why you didn't do anything earlier and have a legitimate reason for feeling some shame. But hopefully by then, you will have realized that that's bullshit too and become a better man.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

So, are you saying you are trapped? No friends to give you a ride to a hotel or lawyer? No way to get a cab? No way to figure out how to get out of the house and not come back?

[–]R-McElridge[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sadly mentally. I needed a push so I posted. Yes a taser should have been a big enough push.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

do you need us to taze you too?

Go already... my post was an hour ago... packed yet?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I think you should buy your wife a taser with a higher amplitude. Can you please put some videos of you being shocked online. Just when I thought I had read it all I see this headline, you couldn't even make this shit up.

[–]R-McElridge[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

At least then I would have proof right. As NO ONE will take a man serious without it! Two lawyers exact words before I found one that will even try to help.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow so you are not a troll and you really did get tasered? Well then that is completely fucked up and no different from a woman with a black eye. Your wife is an abusive cunt and you need to next her. Same advice I would give to a woman whose partner was beating on them. Forget the police, you will be the one who gets arrested

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Assuming this post is real and on the up-and-up:

Wives do not taser husbands. That is called assault and battery. That is called domestic violence.

If you had done that to her, you would be inside the county lockup right now facing felony DV and battery charges, and some local whippersnapper prosecutor would be throwing the book at you, ready to make his/her little fucked up career on your antics. Your name and mugshot would be all over

A wife using or pulling a weapon on a husband is Game Over. That's it. Do not pass go, do not collect $200. We're done. Pack your shit, call a friend or family member, take the kid, and leave the house NOW. Swear out a complaint at the police department. Make a formal record for the divorce proceedings. You have some factual support for a finding that you should have custody o f the kid, which, in addition to your protecting the kid, will relieve you of child support obligations decided by a court.

Your wife is fucked up batshit crazy and she is a danger to you and to your child. Even if you will not do this for yourself, do it for the kid. You have a legal and moral obligation to protect that child. Your child is UNSAFE living in that house. What if wife flips out again and tasers the kid? or worse?

Go see a lawyer, like RIGHT NOW, and have separation papers and divorce papers drawn up. Ask for exclusive possession of the house and an order of protection.

Good luck.

[–]Red-Curious2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

People are telling you to get out. I won't contradict that advice, but be forewarned that even if she is pretty crazy, if you can't drive, you're probably not getting custody because you can't meet all of your child's needs. If you have an alternative plan that you believe is sustainable your chances go back up a little.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link something.

[–]man_in_the_world1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What I am looking for is a productive lashing

I bet you do this "beta cringe" in real life with your wife and others. Stop this pathetic bullshit! Make your decisions, do or do not, and own the responsibility for them and for any criticism they might receive after the fact, rather than pre-deflecting or pre-apologizing for them.

[–]matrixtospartanatLV0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Your wife crossed the line of violence with you, it's only one more step to your daughter.

Go to the police station. File the report. Tell them you are afraid for your daughters safety but you have no alternative place to provide for her. Ask for help.

Get a copy of the report ~$2 in most areas, and walk to the courthouse. Ask to see a victim advocate in the District Attorney's office, hand them a copy of the report and they will start plugging you into all the support services available.

It will feel awkward being the only guy in a waiting room full of women, but suck it up.

I had a great time telling the Child support office at the front desk, in a slightly raised voice, how my ex-wife wasn't paying her child support and how could she treat her children that way and oh my god could they put her in jail or something because my children were suffering without the get the point.

After this moment, you and you alone bear the responsibility of whatever happens to your daughter knowing what you know.

Staying with your wife is the path of least resistance.

You may have read the sidebar but you didn't internalize it.

This is real life shit.

Take care of it

[–]R-McElridge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for the advice! I am meeting with a lawyer tomorrow morning we will see from there. I can not wait for that one woman in the waiting room to just scoff at me.

[–]InChargeMan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Well, it was only 1kV. At least it wasn't more, then you should definitely stand up for yourself.

What is your medical condition? Is it temporary or permanent?

[–]R-McElridge[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Edited the post but it is Meniere's.

[–]InChargeMan0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dang, that sucks. Gotta get one of those autopilot teslas :)

[–]trp_dude0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I sent you a PM with information on a potential treatment.

[–]screechhater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So can you not go out for a long extended hike, walk run ?

Weakness in many arenas of your own with tough crazy bitch is your problem. Your mental state sucks you are not a victim in this. You are the cause of your own suffering

Listen up You need to toughen up. It is difficult to not react to a bully that you are married to, but if you truly fear for your life, than it's time to draw the line. But, I would bet we are not getting the whole story.

Fear is a mother fucker. It should not control you. Also, there is no fear that you cannot overcome.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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