Unplugged approximately 4 months. DL 2 or 3. Married 15 yrs, 3 kids, 44, wife 45. Marriage very rocky last year. Better this year but not great.
I was out with my wife and we started talking about some friends going through serious marital problems. Their situation is that the wife is clearly trying to make the husband miserable enough to dump her. Since unplugging this has become completely clear to me and I am certain the husband needs to kill the puppy. I said something to my wife like "It's clear she doesn't respect him. She just wants him to do it so it's his fault". To this my wife responds "Is that what you think I'm doing?".
I reflexively said "No, not at all" and this seemed to make her happy or relieved. I know I failed this shit test big time so I kept talking about our friends. The rest of the night was fine by the standards of our tottering relationship this year. But, honestly, I sometimes wonder if she is trying to get me to kill the puppy, this was especially true at a few low moments last year. I haven't sensed that level of disrespect from her this year.
So my questions are: What to make of a shit test like this? Does she think she's sending me a message and I'm not getting it? How do you respond to something like this? I wish I had said "If you are, you have to try harder because I'm not getting the message."