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Persistent/Constant Shit Tests - RP

December 2, 2016
3 upvotes

Hey all. Time for me to quit lurking. I recently had an experience that's made me think, and I wanted to ask for the group's wisdom.

Long story short, mother in law was visiting, wife and I agreed that the kids would not sleep in the same room with her, when mom started to walk to the boys bedroom, I spoke up and told her it would be best for her to sleep in the guest room instead. Wife came out of her room and said "Mom, just do whatever you want," after which mom promptly went into the boys room and closed the door. WTF, really? I walked into our bedroom where my wife was and told her that she'd been disrespectful and dishonest, and that she would NEVER try that shit again. She argued and cried and generally tried to manipulate. I didn't bother fogging, I just broken recorded her ("we agreed together. You will never disrespect me with dishonest bull shit like that again.") I didn't yell... I didn't need to. but I was intentionally loud enough to make sure Mom heard the entire exchange. Finally, when my wife said "fine, just tell me what you want me to do" I responded "beginning tomorrow, tell your mother she has to sleep in a different room, LIKE WE AGREED." Then I STFU and went back downstairs. 15 min later, mom came down and quietly went to the guest room. Shit test "passed," I think...

For the next two days, mom and wife were both cold as hell actually frozen over. Mom avoided me and actually hid from ME going into different rooms when she heard me coming or saw me enter the room. IDGAF. Wife cried, told me I was an ass, and called our marriage counselor, (who backed me up :)). IDGAF. Held frame. Let her storm rage. I'll be here when she's done.

The old BP me would have just taken it and sulked about being railroaded. I wouldn't have said anything to Mom and I would have passively aggressively bitched about the shut she'd pulled. but the RP man I'm committed to becoming said Hell No! called her on her shit, and let the storm rage... I didn't have to say a thing about it the next two days. Mom slept on the couch (probably because she didn't want to "give in"). IDGAF.

The next day I told wife I wanted sex and a backrub when the boys went to bed. She coldly said "fine" and yep, frigid starfish sex. IDGAF and made it clear that I wasn't afraid of her silent treatment or pouting. I took that starfish, left it dripping, got dressed, and got back to my work. She didn't say a thing.

Mom went back home today and wife texted to tell me she'd doubled up on her anti depressants the past two days. She was trying to bait me into asking her about her feelings and apologizing for "making her" need the medication. No way. I just wrote back and said "Hope you feel better soon babe." Then I STFU. She wrote back and said "i'm sure I will."

This is early in my RP conversion. I'm lifting, I've owned my shit and cleaned all my stuff up, and I've made it clear that I'm changing and don't have any intention of being her BP pansy assed pushover of a husband any more (almost verbatim what I broken record to her). She can tell I'm different. She gives me shit about it several times a day and tries to push me back into her beta. She even gave me shit about cleaning out my closet, my office, and my workshop... Her: "What's wrong? Why are you doing this? It's not like you at all." Me: "It's my shit and I'm taking care of it." Her: "your being so weird. your cold. Your being an ass." Me: "let's try that again. I'm sure you didn't mean to suggest that I shouldn't take care of my shit, do you?" Her: "no, but you're being an ass. What's going on? " me: STFU. Her: leaves for 10 min and comes back to have the same conversation, I repeat 3x and then just STFU. That and other Shit tests just keep coming. It's not that I can't handle the shit tests... Frankly, these seem like soft balls compared to the shit she tried to pull with her mother. But there's nothing BUT Shit tests from her. Literally, nothing. Just one after another.

Question is this: how long, or how many times will I need to hold frame, call her on her shit, and be the oak in her storm before crying, silent treatment, and repeatedly calling me a shovenistic ass doesn't last for 2 days at a time? IDGAF really, just asking what experience you've all had so I have a little bit of a barometer. I fully expect her to hamster, call me an ass, and keep shit testing from time to time. This experience and other Shit tests that have been almost constant for the last 2 weeks (yeah, it took me a long time to take the red pill and start to wake the hell up... If I'm even starting to get on the right track yet) have just made me wonder if this will plateau as she gets used to living with a man instead of the unik RP piece of shit she's been married to for the last 12 years.

[EDIT: removed inconsequential drivel]

Ok, so critique me. Tell me what I'm fucking up.

[EDIT: removed inconsequential drivel]

Incidentally, the post that finally gut-punched me and woke me up to my miserable reality is one I can't find now (i've read so much good shit here) that said something like "don't worry, we're going to hold your hand and walk you through this every step of the way... Are you kidding me? Let go of my hand, your even more pathetic than I thought..." Full disclosure, when I read the first sentence I thought "oh good... They're gonna help me through this." Then I read the next sentence, realized I really was a pathetic RP loser, and decided to commit and take the red pill I've been holding onto. So to whoever posted that (may have even been in the sidebar), thanks man... I needed it.

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Post Information
Title Persistent/Constant Shit Tests - RP
Author RedPillQuest
Upvotes 3
Comments 61
Date December 2, 2016 6:43 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/persistentconstant-shit-tests-rp.206822
https://theredarchive.com/post/206822
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5g1wad/persistentconstant_shit_tests_rp/
Comments

[–]Aaren_Augustine12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Change over time, man. Pick your battles wisely. Lead without assuming she will follow. She didn't follow. This time. Can you blame her over your poor leadership history?

No need to scold your wife. Keep leading until she sees you are congruent enough to follow. Your actions will show this.

INSTEAD, your direction was rejected by your wife and you got butt hurt. Then you ran to your wife, had a tantrum and made your weakness known to your MIL as well; who is a guest in YOUR home. So now you are drawing in needless negativity. Then you got butt hurt they wanted to avoid your negativity. You stamped around like one of your kids in a tantrum. YOU made this worse over what? Is there some safety concern about your MIL staying in your kids’ room? Does she have a history of smothering small creatures?

I wouldn't have said anything to Mom and I would have passively aggressively bitched about the shut she'd pulled. but the RP man I'm committed to becoming said Hell No!

You yelling loud enough for MIL to hear IS PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE, just more aggressive than passive.

You believe shit test equals nail. You believe you are the hammer.

Shit tests are little verbal checks to see if they are able to be safe under your care.

[–]SDSAM210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great shit test definition.

Got a comfort test definition in your words?

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

All very very good points.

No history of smothering small children. Just snoring, keeping the kids up and making them cranky zombies the next day.

I didn't think I'd gotten butt hurt over any of it, but you're right, I did.

Are you saying this wasn't a shit test, to see if I'd stand up to her when she decided she'd rather please her mom than keep her word? If not, what was it? Learning... Lots to learn.

Thanks.

[–]Aaren_Augustine0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just snoring, keeping the kids up and making them cranky zombies the next day.

And if that did happen without you saying a damn thing? An opportunity you let go by complaining. Your wife, seeing how crabby her kids are the next day, wouldn't miss that she messed up not listening to you. NOT THAT YOU WOULD NEED TO SAY IT. This would be apparent, NOT THAT SHE WOULD ADMIT IT. TO YOU.

If not, what was it?

Not that. Keep learning.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Wife called our marraige counselor...who backed me up ;)"

Faggot.

You sound like a smug little kid who just proved some stupid moot point. Good job standing your ground but you sound too passive aggressive and butthurt still. Your frame needs to be from a confident happy place, not a defensive butthurt place. That's why she is shit testing you so much, she knows you're technically not "failing" them, but you're not alpha enough to truly NGAF and outright pass them. There's a disconnect that doesn't add up and she's poking and prodding until she can get to the truth. My advice, keep an upbeat attitude and give less fucks.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Dude your post kind of veered off course there towards the end. Holy shit can I relate though. The key is to not take her so damn seriously , Which takes practice, and is easier said than done. I think you're DEERing a little bit too much before STFU.

One thing that has worked for me really well recently is, I will just simply say, "if you want to have a Pleasant conversation, I'm in. Otherwise, count me out. I'm not going to entertain that BS. "

I actually did that earlier tonight, and she changed her tune pretty pretty quickly. She was still a bit sulking but the shit testing stopped for the night. I don't give a shit if she wants the sulk, the key is she was in my frame.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! I agree. I digressed quite a bit at the end. I guess I didn't want to give the impression that I'm entitled or think my wife should see me as an AF because I've been taking the red pill for a whole month now. Giving fucks where fucks aren't needed.

The "pleasant conversation" statement is gold! I'll try it out. I was wondering how to STFU without just giving her the silent treatment. Thanks!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks! I agree. I digressed quite a bit at the end. I guess I didn't want to give the impression that I'm entitled or think my wife should see me as an AF because I've been taking the red pill for a whole month now. Giving fucks where fucks aren't needed. The "pleasant conversation" statement is gold! I'll try it out. I was wondering how to STFU without just giving her the silent treatment. Thanks!

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Thanks.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What you said: We agreed on X. Why didn't you do X? We agreed. We agreed.

What I heard: You did wrong you did wrong we agreed we agreed why did you do that to meeeeee?

The spirit of your words is correct, you are trying to be the authority. But you come across butthurt and not OI. So let's backtrack and figure out how we got here.

 

Wife and I agreed that...

Two possibilities: 1) She made the choice for your mom to sleep in the guest bedroom...YOU agreed. If so, why arent you leading? Why is she making decisions? 2) You asked her opinion on the issue and 'agreed' on a course. If so, why aren't you leading? Why wasn't it just, "babe you're mom is sleeping in the guest bedroom"?

But now the argument is happening, so let's go back there.

 

Maybe she had a reason, so give benefit of the doubt so she cannot double back later: "What was that about?" (Notice she now will need to explain her actions to you, the man in charge). If she gives a perfectly good reason? "You're right, I forgot about the car sized hole in the wall in the guest bedroom", then good thing you have a competent first officer. If she gives a shitty reason? "I thought that blah blah blah" "No, because (reason here), next time consult me before leapfrogging me. Do not do that again." If she tries to beat you into beta mode? "Oh get over it". Set the boundary: "No no, that won't fly in my house. Do not do it again."

Do you see how all 3 of those responses have you as the decision maker? It's not a whine with a hidden question "We agreed..." (hidden question: Why did you turn back on our agreement?) It's not you continually trying to shame her that she broke your agreement (she doesnt care). It's you taking charge.

I know what you're thinking: "What if she tells me to take a hike when I put my foot down?" You tell me. I'm curious as to how you'd respond.

 

I want a back rub and sex

What the fuck? Have you read? Wheres the kino, initiate, push/pull. Overt, and especially planned future overt sex demands are absolutely BP. She heard that and dried right the fuck up. And you got starfish...surprise surprise.

Here's a pat on that back though for holding frame cleaning. (Pat).

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks for this! Really well thought out and helpful.

You're absolutely right on all points. I did lead and make the decision (not in my original post), but then became a pussy and went with "we agreed" instead of "you asked and I told you... Your mother sleeps in the guest room." Your response has made it clear that I didn't NGAF like I told myself. I was afraid of her. Damn it! Thank you.

"What the fuck? Have you read? Kino, initiate, push/pull. Overt, and especially planned future overt sex demands are absolutely BP. She heard that and dried right the fuck up. And you got starfish...surprise surprise"

Right again. The overt sex demand comes from two years of marriage counseling. It's more RP than I've explained in this thread, and I know it. It's also a thing I've consciously decided not to fuck with just yet. I'll make another post about that whole cluster fuck another day. But for now, I accept that sex works this way and will be starfish. I've got a lot of work to do on myself before she sees me as the guy other women want to fuck. Been reading and rereading. Still have more.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Accepting that you're doing something that is clearly not working seems logical to you?

You'd rather she continue duty starfish fucking you rather than at least trying the given advice of kino, initiate, push/pull etc? Have you even done the sidebar reading? Read SGM? Where has it ever been suggested that the type of sex you want will be most easily obtained through negotiation?

You do realize that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results right?

Game her like you would any other woman whose pants you're trying to get into. Would you expect asking for a backrub and sex half way through a date to end with you and her passionately fucking? Or would expect that you have to lead her there through your actions?

For fuck sakes man, stop giving a fuck about wether or not you're getting sex today and work on you. Be a man she wants to fuck and the sex will come. You want your wife to fuck you? Be attractive, don't be unattractive.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

The next day I told wife I wanted sex and a backrub when the boys went to bed. She coldly said "fine" and yep, frigid starfish sex.

Wow, I'm so surprised she wasn't ready to hop on your dick after how smooth you were.

[–]Aaren_Augustine-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

How cute. Tell me. When you are at the gym, do you really get down in the details when you build men? When they deadlift, do you comment on how much the lean back? How much they fuck up their kinetic chain with position or grip as they lift 300 plus pounds? Do you suggest Romanian deadlifts and walk them through how and why it's important to fix their deficiencies? Fuck you get it. Hamstrings and ass be weak! Duh!

Or are you just comedic relief? A clapping fucking monkey that happens to have a pussy?

I'm no expert of course. Not on deads. But I've got a few captains and a handful of sergeants in the Army I walk through proper squats.

Perhaps I'm way out of line. Give me your number. I'll add you to the INT J bitches lining up willing to help men be better men.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I assumed you were the OP with how butthurt you sound. Haha, I guess she hit a little too close to home.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm too busy upping my deadlift and following my training program to comment on other lifters.

I'm pretty sure that listening to your whine isn't going to build better men. That's good for you, since they would just outcompete you for the 4s.

[–]Aaren_Augustine-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Awesome, you're too busy. Then apply that here and shut the fuck up. I got the strength to do both.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You need to practice your STFU, obviously. Does your wife know you're on her laptop?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ha!

[–]mrpthrowa1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Well I think you rather did well, but:

1) Should stfu more, or just remove your presence. When she acts up, leave. Train her like a dog.

2) Where is your fun side - would anybody find you fun? how is your game? seems like it's dreadful if you just "tell" your wife you want to sex her.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

Completely agree on both points. Re #2, it comes frankly from the marriage counselor. Wife decided she "needed advanced warning." MC pointed out that I'd get sex 3x per week if I just gave her advanced warning. That was over a year ago and I can see that it's very BP of me to ask four sex a day in advance, but I decided it would be a nuclear Rambo move to just stop doing that at the beginning of this RP trek of mine. Total pussy move, but I'm keeping that one the way it is for the next little bit.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

"MC pointed out that I'd get sex 3x per week if I just gave her advanced warning." <-- and your wife agreed that this would work, and it's actually happening? And the result is good sex? Seems to me this is a recipe for starfish every time.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She agreed and has told me several times that she likes it. But it is total starfish sex. Has been since day 1 though. I'll leave it as is and work on myself for now.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Still have game with other women, but she shuts that shit down. I'm no fun with her. I'll improve that.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've made it clear that I'm changing and don't have any intention of being her BP pansy assed pushover of a husband any more (almost verbatim what I broken record to her).

The only thing that is clear is that you are totally fucking this up Rambo. ACTA NON VERBA

Why are you telling her about your changes or how it is going to be? This whole post is so gay.

You should have settled the matter with MIL before she even arrived or as soon as she did.

[–]SexistFlyingPig1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You made the decision to confront your wife over her mom staying in the boys' room. But then you said, "starting tomorrow..."

Why?

Why not tell her to go tell her mother that it's best if she sleep in the guest room? That's what you both agreed to, and your wife sabotaged it. Now she has to fix it.

You are treating your wife as though she has equal say in the decisions of the marriage. She does not want this. She wants you to lead. She wants to follow. When she leads, everybody fucks up. Don't you get this?

"I repeat 3x and then just STFU"

That's not shutting the fuck up. That's repeating yourself over and over again. When you train a dog, you train it to follow your command the first time. If you do this, then it will follow your command the first time. But if you repeat your commands, then you're training your dog that he doesn't have to follow the first command, he only has to follow it if you repeat it.

Her behavior will follow rewards. If you reward shitty behavior, then you'll get shitty behavior. If you reward good behavior, then you'll get good behavior.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Why?"

"Why not tell her to go tell her mother that it's best if she sleep in the guest room? That's what you both agreed to, and your wife sabotaged it. Now she has to fix it."

Right, I could have. Probably a scared pussy.

"You are treating your wife as though she has equal say in the decisions of the marriage. She does not want this. She wants you to lead. She wants to follow. When she leads, everybody fucks up. Don't you get this?"

I'm starting to get it. She'd come and asked where the boys should sleep. I told her to have the boys sleep in the guest room and her rents in the boys' room. She said "OK, done." Hence, the "agreement." Incidentally though, me just making decisions and leading is currently earning me more shit.

"That's not shutting the fuck up. That's repeating yourself over and over again. When you train a dog, you train it to follow your command the first time. If you do this, then it will follow your command the first time. But if you repeat your commands, then you're training your dog that he doesn't have to follow the first command, he only has to follow it if you repeat it. "

Good point. If I tell her once, leave, and she just rolls over and goes back to sleep, what are possible responses?

[–]redearththeory0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Question is this: how long, or how many times will I need to hold frame, call her on her shit, and be the oak in her storm before crying, silent treatment, and repeatedly calling me a shovenistic ass doesn't last for 2 days at a time?

About 8 months and 3 main events in my case. But it does work and you will eventually get there.

I walked into our bedroom where my wife was and told her that she'd been disrespectful and dishonest, and that she would NEVER try that shit again.

The fact that you took this super personally and went nuclear was unnecessary. Its progress and your reaction was better than some beta deering or whining, so thats good. But it would have been stronger to dismissively attack her for being inconsistent and incompetent and then go set MIL straight yourself.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see all Rock and very little Oak. This post was really good at helping me to discern the difference between the two.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! Absolutely right. All rock. No oak.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Does she see your vision for this family?

Does she know that she should no longer be 'doting daughter' but rather '100% supporting wife'?

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, she didn't see my vision.

At this point though, she might get that pleasing MIL was the wrong move. This is likely the first time I've asserted myself when she's fine something like this with MIL, though, so it might need training.

[–]plein_old0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great story. Just not sure that the explaining is helpful - like why you cleaned your closet.

Now if you can just bring more humor and joy into the whole picture, that might make you feel better, and also give your wife less fuel for her angst, so to speak.

[–]blue_to_red0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

"don't have any intention of being her BP pansy assed pushover of a husband any more (almost verbatim what I broken record to her)"

This probably sounds to her like a temporary new thing you are trying. Most likely doesn't sound like you and more like something you are merely repeating. You don't have to explain. Acta, non verba!

How long will it take? AWALT, it will take every day for the rest of your life. It's called work!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This probably sounds to her like a temporary new thing you are trying. Most likely doesn't sound like you and more like something you are merely repeating. You don't have to explain. Acta, non verba!

Yes. This. Don't TELL her from now on it's going to be different. That's not real, it's a line out of "The Honeymooners." SHOW her. Just say no. Leave the room. Don't paint the wall, or whatever thing she dominates you into doing that you disagree with. But do what you actually want - /lead/. Don't be obstinante then play video games.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

OH, so the counselor backed you up?

You want the counselor to fuck your wife for you too??

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I don't understand. What about the fact that wife decided to call MC means that I want him to fuck my wife for me?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

the fact that you were so happy to have someone else tell the bad girl that she was being bad.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] -1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I still don't understand. How does being glad I don't have to figure out how to counter MC mean that I'm "so happy to have someone else tell the bad girl that she was being bad?"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its your fucking job, bitch management.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Bwahaha, nailed it.

[–]phd253sll0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Why is her sleeping in the kids room such a big issue. There can certainly be lots of good reasons why but what are yours specifically and does/did the mrs agree? Maybe your MIL is bulldozing your wife too and needs you to lead her- not fight her.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

MIL is very controlling. No doubt. If wife had ever once said, I can't tell her that, or, I need help, or... anything except for walking out right after I told MIL to sleep in the other room to say "mom, just do whatever you want to do," I'd agree completely. But in 3-4 different conversations over multiple days, she'd asked me and then agreed that it would be best for the kids to sleep in a different room.

The reasons for wanting the kids to sleep in the other room? Irrelevant at this point, but MIL and FIL go to bed hours later than the boys and wake them up, making them come to our room or otherwise get schedules messed up. As a result, boys are cranky the following day. Wife has to put up with them and she gets cranky, which makes her mean to the kids and beastly to be around. FIL and MIL both snore and keep the kids awake. FIL doesn't really want the kids to sleep with them but MIL doesn't care (his problem not mine, I know). All speaking from several other visits and experiences of course.

[–]phd253sll1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep- I figured schedules and quality sleep for the kids was the reason. Agree that is important and should be enforced. That said, did you decide this with her- then leave her to deliver the 'bad' news alone? If you knew this would be a point of contention, you LEAD her by planning out how you are going to deliver this message at the onset of the visit, with her standing by your side. You anticipate and prepare for your MIL's responses together. This serves two purposes- your MIL gets that you are the Leader in the house and it takes pressure off your wife and her relationship with her mom. You had an opportunity, but you blew it. You won't next time, right?

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Interesting. I wasn't even thinking that I might have blown it by not showing MIL that I was the Leader in my house. I thought that was the wife's domain and she'd be frustrated if I stepped in. Saying it now I realize how lame and BP that was. You're absolutely right! Thank you for pointing it out.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

"Question is this: how long, or how many times will I need to hold frame, call her on her shit, and be the oak in her storm before crying, silent treatment, and repeatedly calling me a shovenistic ass doesn't last for 2 days at a time? "

Think of the baby you're trying to train to sleep through the night. Rush in ONE TIME, and you'll reset the process. Give in to your wife ONE TIME ... even give indication that Beta B is in the building, and you'll reset.

As to how many - as many as it takes. Likely, you'll just reduce the frequency. MRP makes no promises. If you want the promise of sex, then at the end of a long journey, you get to the territory of "F--- me or F--- you."

The general rule of thumb is 1 month for every year of Blue Pill marragie. I have no idea if that is accurate.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks.

[–]sexyshoulderdevil75% Liquid Sarcasm0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was YOUR post! Thank you!

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You lost frame the moment mother in law walked in with the kids and shut the door. You reinforced in both of their heads that your words are only words, and that you will not take action to follow up. Thus, you reinforced that you are nothing but an ATM machine with no leadership, which by the way they are quite content with for the time being. (Eventually your wife's pussy will dry and chafe so badly that Chad will be required to moisten the situation).

Stick to your guns man. And stay the course - you may need to delay leading until you are no longer a pussy. Try not to go MRP Rambo (I certainly did, I advise against it). Just become awersome and lift and it will happen.

Keep going, I feel your pain.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

You already know the answer. She wants her beta bitch back. She knows hes deep down there, somewhere. Dont cave. You are still taking her too seriously and DEERing. That "Lets try that again. Im sure you dont mean blablabalbla..." Seriously, cut that crap. When shes shit testing you, treat her like the 5 year old child she is being. Would you explain with all your rational logic why you do this or that to a 5 year old?

Her: "You´re being an ass"

You: "Damn right I am"

You: "Yes i´d like some ass"

You: "Oh you want it in the ass"?

Anything but taking her seriously. I fell for something like that "guilt for making her feel bad" when my last LTR was going to shit. We were fighting and she said "if you must know, im seeing a psychiatrist because of all this stuff going on". That hit BP bitch me like a truck, I was overthinking for days, damn was I really being a dick, does she really deserve this? A few days later I found that "oh I wasnt going to a psychiatrist, It was professional coaching".

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm giving fucks where fucks aren't needed. I take her too seriously. Thanks!

[–]innominating0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You are doing a lot right and you will likely be successful at MRP but right now You are RP Ramboing. Work on being cocky funny and she'll start saying that you are being an asshole with a smile on her face and wet panties, and when you tell her you want sex, she won't say "fine" and give you starfish.

Specific advice:

First, the boundary you set about MIL is fine. Your wife was trying to please you and MIL. She relented to MIL You probably could have captained around this by pulling MIL aside earlier and telling her that she would be sleeping in the guest room and not the boys room.

After wife violated the boundary you should have calming addressed the issue right then in front of MIL. "No, remember we agreed that it is best for the boys if MIL doesn't sleep in their room."

Absent that your reaction was fine, although being loud enough for MIL to hear but not assertive enough to have a conversation in front of MIL was passive aggressive.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I'm not sure where the Ramboing line is at. I'll keep reading and learning.

You're right... It was passive aggressive. Somehow I thought that correcting her in front if MIL was "wrong." It would be better the way you suggested.

Thank you!

[–]innominating1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The Rambo line is easy to cross. Rambo is determined, relentless, and mad. The Alpha your wife will drop and suck dick for is determined, relentless, and fun.

It is the difference between the high school jock, who lifts and has a mission, but it doesn't matter because he barges through the halls bumping into everyone who is in his way with a scowl on his face, and the jock who lifts and has a mission and walks through the halls smiling, high-fiving, and hugging HBs he's about to fuck.

You seem like the kind of guy that is determined to be be successful. Early in the process, determination leads to going too fast. If you go fast, the personality change is obvious to your wife. She will test it. Your problem is the change is no fun for her.

Read Pook. Be fun.

[–]RedPillQuest[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolutely right. I'm a determined guy. I'm not much fun recently. Pook is good stuff. I'll give it another read. Thanks!

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stay on course. She actually likes the change cause it gives her something to hamster about. If you avoid full on asshole Rambo shit, things should smooth out.

As fir telling her you want sex and s back rub ? Fuck that's full on starfish making. Especially with MILbin the house. Kino, game. Then initiate. Men do no talk. Unattractive. Hence- starfish.

You may have a good main event coming or not. Depends on his you hold frame. OYS is 3/4 of the battle, and as long as you keep improving - it's easier

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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