I found myself in a situation with a physically abusive spouse. The sole reason for this are my own choices in my past.
My divorce hearing in on Wednesday.
I'm consulting my lawyer tomorrow.
We have 3 kids. I'd love to move out but because of law, moving out before divorce is a very bad idea.
Today morning was the second time during last week when I was physically assaulted when I was leaving to work. She's shorter and lighter than me and she is not really able to do any damage except some scratches.
Things I want to consult here:
unless there is a real physical treat (like knife), I don't want to get police involved, at any cost. There were some TRP threads that suggested this. Any thoughts on this? Any first-hand experience stating otherwise?
I already do voice recording. Any hints on video recording? This would be cool evidence; I've got a smartphone, but it looks pretty impossible to place it in such way it won't be easy to notice; any ideas on this? Any first-hand experience with concealed video recording devices?
I don't want to hit her back, as I see no point in such behavior. She's not really able to damage me; on the other hand her behavior is preventing me from leaving house on time to get to work; any ideas how could I remove myself from that situation without resorting to physical force (except moving her away)? I don't want to use pepper spray as there are children at home, also that's a closed space, also pepper spray can cause breathing problems; it's not a tool that I could use and just leave; I actually thought (I'm serious here) about getting a can of shaving gel and using it on her when she gets furious; perhaps cold water could also help;
I get lots of text messages from her, this is mainly about how much did I hurt her; I already know shrink4men.com, I've read some books about BPD and NPD; does her behavior ring a bell, any ideas what problem may that be - and any hints how can I lead the situation to get her to calm down somehow, or at least to get her more cooperative? Since a few years I don't hear anything else from her but only how did I hurt her there and there, somehow I feel like every single one situation I did is a problem causing pain for her; the deal is that I totally stopped caring if she feels hurt or not - I continuously kept hearing from her about her pain for so long and about nothing else. From my perspective and life experience, her situation with me is not bad at all.