Plan A or B, MAP, or something different?

SBIII · 2019-03-11T09:43:58+00:00

If I didn’t have a wife to go home to tonight I would lift a little longer, wrap up a couple home projects, then hang out with friends

Why are you going home to a wife who is cold and won't fuck you when you have other / better / more interesting things to do? Are you doing that in the hope that she might suddenly defrost and fuck you?

are there any other tactics you all would recommend?

By tactics, do you mean "cheat codes"?

she isn’t responding well yet

You mean the cheat codes aren't working?

The dread levels aren’t working

Oh, yeah, that's what you meant.

Going to look more into the 1,000 foot rope topic mentioned and go with the approach of setting out what I want my relationship to look like. If that doesn’t work then... I may be back for some advise or will draw up papers.

Yep - that's the right approach. If Dread Level 9 doesn't work, move straight on to the 1000ft of rope. If that doesn't work, then divorce her.

Been working on being a better captain but am guilty of making demands/getting stuck in a cycle of working way too much. Work hours keeping me from being more fun and planning stuff to do is the biggest weakness in my MAP.

Oh wait... so you are saying that there are fundamental weaknesses in your in your MAP that you haven't addressed yet?

What else are you not telling us?

I know what ....

You are playing your life like a computer game. A game called "Dread Levels". In this game, you progress through each level a month at a time. At each stage you pick up little tricks that get you through to the next level. The point of the game is to win as quickly as possible. And what is the prize? Pussy. And not just any old pussy, your wife's pussy. Because that's the real prize.

Isn't it?

Because you certainly aren't. If you were, your wife's pussy would be the last thing on your mind. You'd be working your way towards creating a greater life for yourself, following your mission, paving out your MAP. You would be too busy to be looking behind you to see if she was following. Maybe she is, maybe she isn't. It doesn't matter - you're a man on a mission. You are a train.

But you're not. You're a dancing monkey. Dancing around, hoping that Mammy will see how much her boy has improved himself in the last 8 months. Hoping that Mammy will reward her boy by sucking his dick.

Sounds repulsive? Well, have a guess how she feels about that.

red-sfpplus · 2019-03-11T01:18:23+00:00

If what you say is true there are several possible reasons:

1) Your wife has a hormonal issue thus no libido thus no sex.

2) You are mentally autistic and for whatever reason cant game your wife

3) She is getting dick somewhere else.

4) You are a liar

My vote is #3, giving you the credit #4 is not it.

Beyond some real form of physical issue or past abuse, no one who is a healthy well adjusted adult has sex two times a year.

Now go make your own choice on what to do.

One thing is for sure. Dont put a bun in the oven.

johneyapocalypse · 2019-03-11T02:39:06+00:00

At this rate, you'll have sex with her 11 times over the next 4 years.

... with no kids in the picture.

Unless, as red postulates, you're lying, you should simply (1) see your attorney, (2) draw up papers, and (3) divorce her, with a smile.

I think you can bypass the few months you feel are still required to fulfill your "prescription."

You didn't sign up for this bullshit. If you had she'd be your fellow priest not your wife. If she wants a convent she can do it on her own dime.

helaughsinhidden · 2019-03-11T15:09:14+00:00

Real talk u/dwebsterlight

https://www.reddit.com/user/dwebsterlight

Since this is your FIRST post asking for help and I see ZERO OYS posts, I'm not buying your story yet. That's a LOT of material to absorb in just 6 months. Like the kind of absorbing that leads to actually making substantial changes to your behavior. Even if you did read all that material, if you made all the recommended changes after 15 years of being a man that would tolerate sex 2 times a year, she'd have to be thinking you were going absolutely crazy if she wasn't taking you seriously and responding in some way as predicted.

with no kids

Kids aren't for everyone. I have 5 of them, but I realize it's not in the cards for all guys... but seriously, why are you with this woman for a decade and a half but not had kids with her? Her baby rabies has got to be driving her crazy if she's approaching the wall and in the typical mind of a female "has nothing to show for it". I feel like the answer to this question might shed some very needed light on the overall picture that may render all this advice given useless.

For example:

If this "woman" was "born a man" and converted, the whole playbook is busted. Same goes for a handful of chromosomal defects that make people atypical in their biological makeup. This is based on the premise that AWALT, but if she's not 100% W, then it gets complicated real quick. (Sorry to David Deida from TWOTSM, I disagree with him here).
If she wants kids and she's in her mid to late 30's and you DON'T want them, she could be killing the puppy to find someone who wants them (starving it to be specific in your case). Or as many have pointed out the obvious, getting some baby gravy on the side and wanting for a positive test to break it to you.
If you have tried repeatedly and she has infertility issues or untreated hormone imbalance as many suggested. Low estrogen and/or depression and/or associated medication changes the equation too.
If she has been pregnant with your kid or someone else's and had an abortion for birth control this can cause tremendous psychological issues.
If you want kids and she doesn't, it's still more to the story that's important. Maybe there's a ton of unresolved emotional trauma from her childhood leading to depression and anxiety.

35...... Dated for 9 years, married for 5 ........... Started reading this forum and sidebar about 8 months ago ... lost the oneitis.

So, you started this mess before you were old enough to drink. You've had 14 years of blue pill oneitis. Your entire adult life she's seen you as BLUEPILL. There is a legit argument that you haven't put in enough time. You found this 8 months ago, so for the first month or two, you are contemplating the validity, so really you've been at this for 6 months out of what is likely to be a 15 month process.

Also, you haven't lost the oneitis. You are lurked a long time hiding yourself and now are being vague enough to reveal you are avoiding getting called out. Some guys come here angry and about to leave. Some guys come here curious and start to realize stuff slowly. Some guys, crawl back to mommy and put her back on the pedestal. A lot more LURK, because they aren't ready to own up. Who are you?

5/15 days of active gaming. Very cold interactions on some days so bringing her to a state of a smile after work is about as far as I get on the other days, and I don’t consider it gaming.

This is total BULLSHIT. First of all, does this mean that you "game her" on 5 out of 15 days? Might I add, what a dumb way to keep a stat, unless you are actually telling me that you just started this 15 days ago and only gave some kind if effort on 5 of those days, use a full week. Second, talk about your actual game. What do you really do? How often? How is she responding? For me, game is life. Everything is about being the best version of myself. The best version of me happens to get laid a lot. So, game is hard wired in my head again.

Think of Lebron at the top of the key. Dribbling, switching lead feet, bobbing his head, driving, backing up, spinning, knowing where his team mates are in his peripheral vision, seeing defenders, knowing the shot clock and game clock, knows the score, number of timeouts, how many fouls his defender has, if the team is in bonus, what happened last times he drove left, right, shot a three, hit from the elbow, passed to Kuzma, Lonzo, etc. If you don't like sports, it's the same with a musician playing in a band or a sculptor that says "the clay tells me what to make". It ought to be 100% instinct because of intent, execution, and repetition. The F does 5/15 mean?

The only thing I understand is "as far as I get" means you often quit at the first sign of resistance and easily back down from mild shit tests. If you've been reading long enough, one thing you should know is women don't trust their men when they showing change. She WILL blow you off because you come off as scripted and phony at times. You will also be inconsistent with your behavior if you are really making some changes. Mostly, she doesn't trust you yet. Let's say you eliminate all your weak behavior over night. She should have reason to believe that you will not stay this great new man and she will test you mercilessly to make sure it's for real and not just an act or a phase. FFS, you were presumably an un-F-able man child she can only stomach to spread her legs for twice a year for a few minutes each, now you are supposedly an abundant, better looking, better dressing, better smelling, better groomed, man who is not phased by her petty comments, dismissive rejections, apathy to your needs, and not at all concerned with other attractive women being interested in you, or threatened by your ability to get and keep their attention?

TL/DR. Nothing adds up here D Webster, shine some real light on the situation. It's all anonymous here, quit playing games with us, we've all got Master's Degrees in faggotry ourselves, who do you think we found this place?

CrazyLegs78 · 2019-03-11T01:22:14+00:00

Dude, WTF? Why are you not gone and why do you give a shit about how she is responding? You should be in your prime right now, not dealing with cold interactions and twice a year sex.

KalenTheGreat · 2019-03-11T05:17:17+00:00

If she's not giving a fuck, there is no dread. Unless u/red-sfpplus is right and she has a medical hormone problem (which is certainly possible, it's more common than people think), she's getting dick somewhere else. No woman only wants to have sex twice in 9 months. If dread isn't working (which it obviously isn't) then there's most likely nothing you can do to turn that around, especially since you sound like you already have one foot out the door. As all the other comments say: cut your losses while you can still get out clean.

weakandsensitive · 2019-03-11T07:05:58+00:00

If I didn’t have a wife to go home to tonight I would lift a little longer, wrap up a couple home projects, then hang out with friends

Dread level 9.

Doesn't really compute. Guess you skipped some levels.

dwebsterlight · 2019-03-11T03:59:43+00:00

hmm this one is kinda straight forward.

If you have no kids, and the situation is as you described. The obvious choice is to separate. The less obvious choice is to move out and live on your own or have her move out. If you want to have a relationship with her go for it. Though you are not obliged to live with her while you do so. Sounds like she is a kill joy.

You make the rules for your life buddy, if it seems harsh to let her go then you can still be friends with her afterwards. you know have fun, go do mad shit together laugh and hang out but , but without the sex.

Persaeus · 2019-03-11T11:07:11+00:00

i'll honestly never understand guys like you. i've never dated or wifed a woman that i did not fuck frequently because i would simply NEVER tolerate it.

you don't want to fuck? sure, i'll go find someone that will. this dick ain't going to suck itself.

looser's gonna lose is all i can surmise

maxofreddit · 2019-03-11T02:19:16+00:00

As a follow-up... are you any fun? Or are you just covertly (or overtly) making demands of the relationship/her without being an actual captain?

flexingred · 2019-03-11T11:27:56+00:00

The way I see it.. You HAVE to be lying. You say: You're fit, You have done your home work, you are spinning plates... How do you not see you are the prize?

Unless you look like some one hit you in the face with an ax or your are retarded there is just no way.

You are tall and obviously fit (unless you just have retard strength)

You are spinning plates but can't even fuck your wife?

You should just walk, and if you are scared to walk then go fuck one of your plates. It will put A LOT of things in perspective for you, and give you the confidence you need to actually walk.

Westernhagen · 2019-03-11T15:09:11+00:00

Rejection rate is high 90’s, as in sex twice in the past 9 months.

So that means you approached 20 times in nine months, or about once every two weeks? Not pushing very hard for a guy who is horny and fit.

No kids, no sex? Time to eject...

[deleted] · 2019-03-11T16:02:33+00:00

Why are you here? For the sense of this post that's a rhetorical question, but it should be the first question you answered when you laid out your MAP. I don't see any indication that you've thought any further than getting laid more often.

If I'm being completely honest, this post looks like you downloaded "MRP Template 2019" and then plugged in a few vague details. You're either incredibly lazy or incredibly boring.

I would suggest starting again at the beginning of the sidebar. The one lesson you specified ("lost the oneitis") should have been a natural consequence of her not fucking you, so it's hard to say that you've really taken anything of substance away from the reading. As you do this, make it a point to make yourself your own mental point of origin. When you talk about the process "not working" or ask for "tactics" for getting a response, it's clear that you haven't made this shift yet.

maxofreddit · 2019-03-11T02:17:24+00:00

Just throwing the thousand foot rope idea out there...

But also echoing others... with no kids, what’s the value of staying?

JameisBong · 2019-03-11T10:03:11+00:00

No kids is an instant walk for me. Always ask what you get from a relationship.

[deleted] · 2019-03-11T12:56:56+00:00

You're 35 and sounds like your SMV is high enough that this will be your new prime and upgrade time.

No kids and Plan B is next her? Then Plan B.

tell her my vision of what I want from a relationship

The most important part will be in demonstrating , years down the road, with a happy life what your vision and goals are and why she couldn't come along for the ride. And that will be in her head because you will have burned the bridge and moved on never looking back.

FereallyRed · 2019-03-11T17:08:25+00:00

Bet she just doesn't smell fish on you anymore.

Patrice O'Neal summarizes dread in his women as fish bit...

"Because if I lose my ability to catch fish,"

"Then you not gonna find me sexy no more."

"So you gotta smell fish on me,"

"So that you know I can catch fish,"

"So you can act right."

You go fishing?

adeptintact · 2019-03-11T19:12:53+00:00

35, still young, your SMV is going higher. She's probably same age so she's past the wall, her SMV is going down. You have no kids so no child support. Stop being an idiot and divorce to get someone better.

[deleted] · 2019-03-11T19:18:08+00:00

Your missing a key ingredient somewhere.. And based on the information you provided I cannot assess what is missing.

And I don't believe you are really at Dread level 9. My wife started jumping my bones at DL3... And some levels arent in order (you can get nice clothes but doesnt mean you jump to level 5)

screechhater · 2019-03-12T00:15:38+00:00

Ya.

DL 9. Not sure you or many others that are supposedly ready to deal it out, have actually worked DL 4 correctly

I honestly did not get past this, and to this day, I can remove my time, which in my case, is very valuable, not because of my ego, but between my work, personal life for me, and kid’s needs, she is like putty in my hands and very maleable

Say what ? Yes, DL 4 done properly signals your time now has to be earned with good, reasonable interactions. Fucking is one of those interactions

Stoicism is key. Frame is critical.

If you have truly, and I mean truly gone through dread step by step and she is a harpy cunt, with that rejection rate - next. She ain’t into you at all

Aechzen · 2019-03-13T12:53:07+00:00

6’4”, 190, 14%, 35

Honestly, that sounds pretty thin to me. Maybe you're one of those dudes who can crank out a 17-minute 5k, in which case, awesome, good for you with the cardio. Otherwise, I think you need to eat way more and put on some upper body bulk.

sex twice in the past 9 months

Unless she had a vagina accident and an ass accident and oral cancer and something happened to her hands, that's beyond awful. Those of us who play outside our marriage do better than that with our side pieces. I banged my side piece twice last week.

If you're really at DL9, your lady probably doesn't want you, and probably will be glad to be rid of you. Add in the no kids, and I don't see what she's worth sticking around for. How did she react when she saw other women openly flirting with you? Maybe you should just poke around a dating site for a while and remind yourself of the quality of accomplished, hot women who would love to be fucking your dick until it's sore.

jcrpta · 2019-03-15T22:50:15+00:00

Agree with /u/SBill: it sounds like you haven't really understood RP properly.

You've covered the physical aspects, but have you covered the mental aspects? It's all well and good having positive interactions with women that you think could go further, but does your wife know you're capable of this? If you're just going home and staring at the walls with her, how could she possibly know?

BobbyPeru · 2019-03-11T01:43:51+00:00

WTF is keeping you in this relationship?

She’s not offering anything, and she’s not having sex with you.

Title	Plan A or B, MAP, or something different?
Author	dwebsterlight
Upvotes	2
Comments	54
Date	March 10, 2019 7:18 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/azj7j9/plan_a_or_b_map_or_something_different/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/plan-a-or-b-map-or-something-different.221476 https://theredarchive.com/post/221476