I've recently been interviewing officiants for my upcoming wedding. We are not traditionally religious, and will not be getting married in a church ceremony, so my search is more complicated than just talking to the pastor equivalent at my church. Out of the half dozen officiants I have spoken with, four of them require the couple to either complete premarital counseling with them or another licensed individual. The rationale is a mix of "this allows me to get to know you better to write out the ceremony" to "I believe that my job is to help create happy, lasting couples and pre-marital counseling helps achieve that goal."

Neither FW or I have ever attended any type of counseling, and therefore do not know if it would serve any beneficial purpose. If we decide we do not want to participate in any pre-martial counseling, it will quickly narrow our officiant search. I don't have any issue with that, but it is a worthwhile observation. I was operating at DL5 when I happened upon the forum, but have taken measures to more consciously take efforts to sharpen my skills. FW is a quality, submissive RP woman.

I am undecided about the counseling. Part of me thinks it is not necessary, but part of me thinks it could be an interesting experience. FW is not excited about the idea. She thinks that every aspect of a relationship should be private, and that you shouldn't speak to anyone about it. But, she has friends who have touted the benefits of pre-martial counseling and would feel comfortable talking about things with my express permission.

I know counseling is typically not recommended on this forum, but in the context of going to marriage counseling after something is already wrong. What about going to counseling as a preventative measure?