Originally I wrote this post to figure out the proper comfort to apply to my wife who was crying, experiencing anxiety, and choosing to sleep on the couch Establish Emotional Connection. That felt incredibly blue so I researched more and found Newb: No your wife doesn't comfort test you. I think the emotional connection is for those that have some alpha credibility, likely not me yet.  

Now, after she went apeshit, I'm writing this because I want to see if I handled this properly. 

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STATS: 6'3" | 192#  15.5%  {180# would be 12%) | 7y w/ 3 kids | Dread 5 | SQ 210#x5 [just finished my deload back to 210 on monday], OHP 110#x5, ROW 180#x5 | RP 4 months | sex 2-3/week

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READ:

The Game, No More Mr. Nice Guy (NMMNG), Mystery Method, The Married Man Sex Life Primer (MMSLP), When I say no I feel guilty (WISNIFG), The Rational Male (TRM) , The Mindful Attraction Plan (MAP), The Way of the Superior Man (TWSM), Book of Pook, Sex God Method (SGM), Day Bang, 16 Commandments of Poon, redpillhandbook,

READING:

The Unchained Man, Models, 48 Laws of Power

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Recently my wife traveled overnight for work, she constantly texted miss yous. During which time I threw a cookout and did some house work. When she gets home the next night I hit the garage to workout, when I come in she is boohooing all over the dining room table. She was upset that the mower guy cut one of her flowers and I moved a bunch of her other herbs from the porch floor so no one would trip again. I took ownership for the cut flowers and offered to replace them, which she refused. She wanted me to promise to not do housework while she is away (recurring theme; her stuff gets relocated out of hazards way; not really worried about flowers), to which I said no. 2 hours of fogging (I truly understand that you feel that your stuff is thrown away and I think that sucks.), negative inquiry, negative statements, and broken record. (My new limit is 30 minutes, don't let that shit run on.) I laughed when she said I throw out all her stuff and she cried saying I was mocking her.  She sleeps on couch mad/crying.

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Next day, her body pains aches nausea etc. She attributes anxiety from me neglecting the one thing that would protect her "Not doing housework while she is gone". I say I understand, I'm taking the kids to the museum, want to come? I'm ignored. Amongst this months ago we planned to get a hotel for this night. She backed out over childcare fears. So I tell her I'm going out anyway, I remind her that today and she angrily says," Good. I want to see the least of you as possible". Kids love the museum and the lunch restaurant. When I get home she is full cripple, I offer to help, "you don't deserve to help me". I talk to her for a while about "this house must be respected and you can not leave your crap all over the place." and I tell her she needs to start respecting her things in the house or accept that I'm going to move stuff. She suggests a third option, which is the first option, she needs to respect her stuff. She warms up after this. I like to dance, so I went dancing that night. I get home and she asks if I went dancing, "yea, but it was more of a class". Then she asks if I touched other women, I say " uh, yea while I was dancing". "I hope you enjoyed her and she enjoyed my husband. I feel cheated on blah blah blah If you wanted to stay single you shouldnt blah blah... I don't even give hugs...", I don't dance often, first time I was frank about it. First time she ever mentioned cheating in any capacity. I'm in the bathtub so I don't respond at all just STFU. Maybe a couple raised eyebrows. No fog, no inquiry just STFU. She moves back to the couch again.

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She wakes me up at 4am. "We need to talk come downstairs now!" I'm like "naww I'm sleep we'll talk in the morning." She fusses almost wakes up kids so I go tell her to chill out. She says "SIT on the couch now!"  I cock my eyebrow and say no that's not happening. She cusses, fusses, drama drama. Her broken record is sit on the couch. Yada yada yada … I feel like you cheated on me... yada yada yada, I turn to go back upstairs. Louder more drama. Follows me up yelling, I tell her we can talk later when she is behaving. Yada yada yada, loud cussing, I get in bed. She starts storming off threatening idea, not actually saying, but threatening divorce. Then I hear her open kid 1 door. She took him out to the car. I'm up then! HELL NO. I go to get him out the car, she starts yanking and pulling on me. I back up, yada yada yada. I say "Take kid 1 in the house." Yada yada.. I realize I'm going to have to be willing to burn this whole thing down. So I walk in the house to make sure she doesn't grab kid 2. She follows yada yada yada. I realize kid 1 is in the car outside by himself, the youngest. So I go back to get him. She darts out throwing her body over him. So I just stand behind the car staring at the beautiful sunrise. SHE GETS IN CAR ACCIDENTS WITH HER ANGER, not with my kids! She takes him into the enclosed patio. I go upstairs and she grabs kid 2!! So I put kid 1 back in bed, and realize she is just going to have to take 2 kid and be reckless, no other ideas come to mind. So I protect kid 1 and 3. All are still sleep until kid 2 wakes up in her arms, "What's going on?". I say, " Mommy is sad, baby" She gives mommy kiss on the cheek and says don't be sad, then starts to lay back down. So kid 2 is on the porch. I'm blocking the door to kid 1 and 3, she carries on yada yada yada.. she says "If my dad was alive he'd kick your ass, maybe I should do that, maybe you will listen then." I bust out laughing. She said oh you think that's funny!" I say, "HAHA I'm sorry bae, your just so cute!". yada yada yada..sit on the couch.. eventually she starts swinging on me. So I just guard my face and take it. She starts yelling. So I grab her and throw her in our room on the bed. She pops up and starts kicking scratching, and all types of reckless mess. (I took picks of the scratches) She tires herself out and collapses knocking over a painting. Into my mind jumps the idea of her hurting herself and blaming me, I can't control that. I check to see if she is ok, she is, I go get some water for myself. I tell her I'll let her out the room, I'm not trying to keep you in there, she just can't take the kids. She calms down. More yada yada yada.. Guilt, manhood, dead dad etc. Yada yada yada. "We are broken, you are holding us hostage."I said you can go, but this is my childrens home. More yada yada..still sit on the couch. Here is an interesting part.. " we are just going to be broken until you decide to fix it, because that's just how you are." Don't know if that was a slip or what, but I smirked, thought that was a compliment. Aside from all the everything has to be husbands way, this almost felt nice. Anyway, she tired herself out, moved her clothes/jewelry/etc into her office and is limping around exhausted. She doesn't lift bro. 

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What's next? Hell if I know. Could she nuke us? Maybe. Could she sneak out with the kids? Maybe. Could she really go apeshit and call the cops and make up a story? Maybe. But in reality how is that different than any other day? The risk is always there and we have to step into the risks and face our fear and be men.

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I treated this as shit testing, because I saw shit. If I'm wrong tear me a new one. Let me learn from this mistake. If I'm right... THIS IS THE SHIT I GOTTA DEAL WITH?   Next moves are to just distance myself and let my distance be her reward.

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edit: grammar and stuff