My wife has been stonewalling me for the past 3 days. I've made sweeping changes over the past couple months (10 yrs of beta nonsense prior) and she hasn't known how to react to the changes.

Her reaction was positive for awhile, but it seems that she's hellbent on figuring out what the hell is happening. I have always been one to go on kicks lasting a week or so, and then falling back to my old ways. She can see now that this isn't a kick and I think it's freaking her out.

The funny thing is, I found this old note she wrote to me once where she laid out everything she thought would improve our marriage and what would make me more attractive in her eyes. I'd totally forgotten about this note, but I'm doing everything on that list now and I'm doing it for me and because it's the right thing to do (take care of shit at home, work out, put your phone away, stop asking for praise, etc) -- not doing it to please her or seek her approval.

So it's wild - but expected I understand - that she's now saying that I only care about me and I'm the most important person in the world. She'll say something along those lines in text form and then ignore me the rest of the day. A couple nights ago she slept in another room (first time she's ever done that).

And then last night after I went out with some buddies (apparently me planning this guys night really bugged her), she stonewalled me as she has been doing, but then sent me a text with a receipt for an all day marriage seminar. WTF?

I didn't respond to that and haven't even addressed it today. So today I get another text asking when I will acknowledge her concerns (which I guess are that I'm leaving the house more, not asking permission to do anything, and generally NGAF but also doing everything on her list -- unknowingly until I read the list today -- that she said would improve our relationship).

She's also apparently been really hurt that I didn't leave the gym early when she texted me that she could use some help because she was "having a hard morning" and I just came home at my normal time (I leave at 530 AM and return a couple hours later - 6 days per week).

I also have a standard guys night once per week (the example above which added fuel to the stonewalling fire was for a second guys night this week).

She says that I don't seem to care about her and she doesn't enjoy being around me right now. And like I said is constantly talking about how selfish or self-concerned that I am (this in spite of a huge uptick in my support of the family -- which I don't tout to her at all).

After her latest text tirade, I didn't respond for two hours (have been sticking to logistics and short answers), and then I said "let's talk tonight." Hit me up w some wisdom as I head toward that conversation.