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[–]SepeanRed Beret35 points36 points37 points 3 years ago (18 children) | Copy Link
Women have a dual sexual strategy. They want both alpha and beta.
Your alpha sounds ok, but alpha won’t carry the load alone. The other guys here, they’re married, got kids, own the house together, they’re committed and gave her family, they’re sorted on the beta. You’re not, and her desire for more beta is going to go up. The MRP way is to give them both alpha and beta.
The plate spinning way is to keep several girls in rotation, and when one begins seeking beta they just let her spin off. Or you could do something similar with serial monogamy without spinning plates.
What you’re doing is going to be trouble. If you’re not signalling beta by showing some signs of commitment, she’s going to freak out more and more. And even if you do that now, eventually it is going to become a demand for kids and doing the family thing for real. Maybe you can become alpha enough that she’ll be so madly in love she’ll stick around even if you don’t give her that, but man she’s going to miserable and your relationship is going go suck. In my book, not worth it, you don’t want that amount of trouble in your home.
Those are your options, bro: Give sufficient beta, rotate girls, or deal with an increasingly unfulfilled, insecure girlfriend.
[–]bob--man3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
OP, I highly reccomened that you save this comment and reference back to it as you see fit.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
beta
Whaaatttt? but... but Sepean, beta is bad. I can't ever show beta or vulnerability or she will go suck on Chad's cock within 5 mins.
[–]SepeanRed Beret16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, in the manosphere the beta hate gets ridiculous often, especially outside of MRP.
The truth is, beta traits aren’t inherently bad - they’re traits women seek in LTR partners. Wealth is beta, fixing shit around the house is beta, being a good father is beta. It is the beta traits that come with a huge loss of alpha that you should avoid, like supplication.
The real trick is balancing beta stuff like loyalty, love, being helpful and supportive with an alpha’s frame and egocentricity. There are tradeoffs you have to make here. u/RStonePT has often made the excellent point that sometimes going all alpha no beta to rock the boat and show her what you also have in you is a great way to handle it.
But thinking that any beta is bad and must be shunned always, that’s just autistic for a man who wants an enjoyable relationship.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret8 points9 points10 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Holding your woman and letting her feel comforted by you is beta. Fucking the day lights out of her is alpha.
I hate the labels. Just be the oak. Be authentic. Strong but bending. Can shelter from a storm from external circumstances if needed. Can withstand HER storms just fine.
What is not good is giving up aspects of your life or changing who you are in order to please her.
[–]themerovingian01-2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Fuck her brains out and then hold her for comfort. Look up d/s aftercare.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Eh. This is a much better write-up than anything else I've read.
Cuddles are Required
[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red16 points17 points18 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
To think one year ago I thought I had it all figured out and was going to ghost this place.
You never ghost this place, and you never stop improving.
Thats what I learned.
[–]chad-i-am4 points5 points6 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
fixing shit around the house is beta
I actually think this is alpha depending on the task and can even create desire from a woman.
Changing the toilet paper role. No. Building your own deck with your shirt off in the hot sun. Yes. Remodeling a bathroom or kitchen and it turns out amazing? Yes.
Women get turned on when men are good at doing shit with their hands.
[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Women want beta. Don’t confuse what they want and praise, with what is alpha and turns them on.
[–]chad-i-am1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
When women aren't interacting with an attractive and masculine man directly, they'll get just as turned on watching them do something that requires some level of competence (especially if they're in shape and have their shirt off). An activity that shows their ability and confidence for instance. You can call it whatever you want (alpha or beta). This is common sense stuff.
[–]SepeanRed Beret3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Common sense isn’t that common. And lots of men have made the mistake of thinking that their proficiency and hard work will keep their woman satisfied, just to end up in a dead bedroom while their wife gets railed by a minimum wage earning personal trainer who has never developed any deep skill, but he’s cocky and carefree and there’s a lot of alpha in that.
[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Women want beta.
Women want connection (sex), comfort, and safety from an abundant, alpha man.
Women will settle for provider-ship from a beta man, always having one foot out the door.
[–]SepeanRed Beret1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I didn’t mean they want only beta. I meant that they among other things, they want beta and they will praise and pursue men for their beta qualities. The lesson to be learned from that is that we must not assume that anything women want in a man is alpha. There are lots of things they like in men that don’t make them wet.
[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Again, we mostly agree.
I read somewhere that, "attraction is beta and desire is alpha".
Attraction is a woman acknowledging your provider-ship skills. You have a good job, you're well groomed, you take care of your mother, and have a dog.
Desire is having mastery of your destiny, knowing your value and not giving it away freely, and not needing a woman other than to overflow an already full cup.
Desire will get a woman to crawl through 100 yards of barbed wire to fuck your brains out. Attraction will maybe get you starfish on the fifth date.
[–]domoli0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yo elaborate on the desire characteristics? Mastery over destiny? Not giving away attention to bitches?
[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Messaging is everything.
I'm not a fan of "giving beta" as it implies loss of Frame.
I prefer "providing comfort from an alpha Frame". One does not have to lose Frame or MPoO to provide the necessary comfort and emotional connection that is required in a relationship.
[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I think we agree on the substance, we just use different words for it.
[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We do agree, I just think that "giving beta" should die a horrible death.
Context is important. If it takes more words to say, "Provide comfort from an abundant, alpha frame", then that's what you do because that's unambiguous.
"Giving beta" is problematic on several levels, most especially if you believe that Alpha is being within one's Frame and providing comfort and connection does not require one to cede Frame.
Providing comfort because you have no other agenda other than "it pleases you" is Alpha. Understanding that, "while sex is the glue of relationships, comfort is the grease", is Alpha.
Comfort as a covert contract is Beta. Providership as a transaction is Beta and soul-sucking.
I believe it's vitally important to provide that context and "giving beta" unnecessarily muddies the waters.
Otherwise, we are fully on the same page.
[–]RedPillGlasses19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Women communicate covertly. Men communicate overtly.
The fact that she's overtly speaking her desire to "move out" is either really good, or really bad.
The hard part about this, is that we don't know if you're a boring ass monk style guy that only goes to the gym and does activities for himself (in which case you're not meeting her need for fun, spontaneity and excitement). OR, you're actually a high value man who she is desperately trying to maintain control of, and using this as her ultimate shit test.
If she's threatening to move out, then I think the time for AA and AM is OVER. Once she's calm, sit her down and calmly explain that you're not going to be in a relationship where your partner wants to yell and threaten to move out. "I won't be in a relationship that looks like this" has an AMAZING amount of power behind it. You're not being accusatory, you're not throwing down an ultimatum, there's no specific timeline to it that you need to follow through on. It's just a statement of fact, and then her hamster fills in the blanks.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Let's try something different today.
How do you think you handled the situation? What did you fuck up? What could you have done better?
[–]business---travel0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I like this change-up in routine!
[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
TL, DR: Skinny-fat noob rocks the boat for the first time ever, gets a few extra fucks followed by some shit tests then doubts himself.
[–]Vegasman200023 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Why do I think this is the fucking stupidest argument I have ever heard? Not going to a lake house because you allegedly don't like her BP friends? Are you worried that you will revert to your old ways? If not, this makes no sense to me at all. If being around blue pill men is so distasteful that you won't even go on a trip with your alleged girl then I think you need to ask why you are so afraid of being around BP men.
Seriously I have no idea what the problem is here other than stupidity.
[–]Secret_Twitch9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
There is a difference between AA & AM and just being a straight dick head. Can't tell from your post, but it sounds to me like you need to shut the fuck up and keep reading, son.
Let me know when you plan on leaving!
This isn't frame control. This is reacting like a little beta bitch. You are putting up a false front and your girl sees right through it. You failed this shit test miserably. Further, depending on how big of a dick head you actually are, this may not have been a shit test; It may have been a comfort test. You failed that too.
Maybe you should have gone to the lake and AMOGed the supposedly "balls deep blue pilled" boyfriends in front of their ladies, thus increasing SMV and instilling dread. Or maybe you are socially awkward and insecure and this weekend at the lake would have been another demonstration of your false facade.
[–]RedPillGlasses0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
“Let me know when you plan on leaving!”
That’s actually a great GREAT come back. Assuming he means it.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
That's the problem. He and she knows he doesn't. It's not congruent. Woman have a sixth sense here. That's really what a shit test is - a test of congruence.
[–]RedPillGlasses1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Agreed.
He sounds like he actually does mean it. But we’ll know if the next post talks about his subsequent depression over her leaving.
[–]Livecrazyjoe0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is the best response I've read. Couldn't have put it better myself.
[–]HighTesticles1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
A few good perspectives so far, but this one seems the most likely. “I’m so alpha I refuse to go hang out with her and her bluepilled friends. And I told her to let me know when she’s going to leave hehe. That’ll show her.
Cringe. On another note, OP doesn’t seem to be doing too awfully...Keep reading. Keep improving. Keep focusing on being better. Aloofness works until it doesn’t. You need dominance and direction, you know...leadership.
[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The important stuff has already been said... I’ll add this...
I was shocked, but I had a shit-eating grin on my face and told her; “Let me know when you plan on leaving!”. It was actually really funny, to be frank.
Women are way better than men at detecting nonverbal cues. If you think you didn’t show your shock, you’re kidding yourself.
BTW, she’s looking for an excuse to move out. The hypergamy is obviously in play here. Are you familiar with that term?
[–]part_wolf3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This should have been an OYS post. You even posted it on a Tuesday.
[–]Praexology1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I don't see what the situation is? She said something. She probably says things regularly.
So she moves out. Grass is green, water is wet, the sun will rise and fall. Nothing is new.
[–]business---travel1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago* (6 children) | Copy Link
I'm surprised no one here has brought this up yet...
Reading/Working On: MMSLP (reading & audiobook)
Pay very close attention and internalize what you are reading in MMSLP. What /u/Sepean mentioned in his comment around having the balance between alpha & beta traits in LTRs/relationships and marriages is key & spot-on for success in the long run. Athol Kay brings up a lot of good info and examples in MMSLP for you to digest and internalize. In fact, Rian Stone (/u/RStonePT) has talked about this on his YouTube channel around guys finding the perfect balance 'alpha' and 'beta' traits and knowing when to use them given the situation.
[–]RStonePT2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
I'm going over MMSLP right now actually. Just finished chapters 1. thats coming up later this week
[–]business---travel1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I know! You are killing it and I'm enjoying the episodes!
[–]RStonePT1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Oh, killing it would be another Tommi Lauren Rage bait clickbait vid.
This is far from killing it
You are saving balls deep BP men...
That's killin' it, my friend.
[–]bob--man0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I just finished watching the first one and I thoroughly enjoyed it.
[–]RStonePT0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Long as you take action it's worth it
[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Most of your issues stem from breaking Iron Rule #4 by cohabitating with your gf, especially since you moved into her place (read: entered her frame). She therefore thinks less of you which accounts for the shift in her behavior dynamic since you made the move.
[–]juliusstreicher0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Maybe she wants to show you off to her friends.
If she FO's, you could bang her friends.
[–]akihonj-2 points-1 points0 points 3 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
Shit test 0 you 1, she played a dangerous game and hopes that you'd beg and plead not to move out and then go along with her and those dipshit friends she's talking about. Do you really want to know why it is such a big deal to her.
She wanted to show you off like a trophy, partly to say hey look I can get one too and partly to play the comparison game, you know my dad is bigger than yours bs, but in this case boyfriends.
Now I'm not saying to never do anything with her, or to just ignore her etc what I am saying is that you don't want to do it so why should you, part of being a man then is standing up for yourself and saying no if it's something you really don't want to do. Especially if the thing itself means your sitting around with a bunch of wannabe men who are going to spend their time fawning over women and trying to tell you one of two things
Either you're an asshole for being a strong man, or your an asshole because your not a doormat for her. Either way they are going to make sure you come away from there wondering if they were calling you an asshole.
Furthermore the friends are hers not yours, the best you're going to get then is a bunch of passive agressive remarks about your relationship. In short the entire time is going to be one big shut test for you, and an exercise in shutting the fuck up and being a doormat. Remember they are her friends not yours so no matter what you say they are going to land always on her side no matter how shitty her behaviour is.
It's up to you now where you take this, you can go along and not drink and the moment they start their shit you get up and leave, and make sure she knows to pick up her shit from outside. Or go along and shut up and be prepared to clock the first fucker who's mouth gets engaged before his brain, or not go. If you chose to not go and she goes you again get to chose how you handle that, either way I think you handled this really well, you have options now and she is really limited.
[–]arm_candy5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
She wanted to show you off
Yeah, fuck that bitch! How dare she like you!?
Or go along and shut up and be prepared to clock the first fucker who's mouth gets engaged before his brain
I like how you’ve stepped up the incel energy by being bitter against women and men. It’s pretty amazing that you imagine that everyone at this hypothetical event is an asshole just desperately trying to get you upset.
You might want to consider that when everyone you encounter treats you like shit, you’re the problem. You’re putting off a giant asshole vibe so no one likes you. Your inability to connect with men or women indicates a problem with you and not everyone else. You might want to work on that. Or fuck off back to mgtow, Mr internet badass.
[–]akihonj1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
Oh sorry sweetheart did I touch a nerve there, did I say something that gives a man an option to chose from which in turn out your panties in a bunch, maybe just maybe if you behave with a little accountability and start to take some responsibility for your own actions you'll find mgtow being a blip in history.
What specifically did I say that got you ovary-acting then, was it the bit about the op choosing what to do for himself
Was it the bit about not being a trophy for somebody, I certainly hope it was because then I get to laugh at your own hypocrisy, I'm sure you wouldn't want to be a trophy for somebody else, but you got pmsing over the fact that I said a man shouldn't have to be a trophy for some child with tits.
Sadly then all your doing is projecting, massively here, simply because your upset that men like me are not just a small group anymore but actually becoming far more common.
What I can't understand is why you aren't celebrating it, aren't you happy that your going to be Trey as an equal, aren't you happy that you're getting exactly what you wanted.
[–]arm_candy3 points4 points5 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
This is beautiful. Thank you for brightening my day with your cringy larping. You’ve truly brought me a gift from the depths of your bitter incel heart.
I'm highly Machiavellian, very low empathy, high reflective skills, meaning I can perfectly mirror normal human beings. In short then I have been analysed and found to be borderline sociopathic. I'm highly successful only because I believe in an honour system..
Lol
I'm highly skilled in infiltration and computer espionage, do you want me to fixate on you, I don't think that you do. So behave yourself.
Honest to god, your internet badassery is the best thing I’ve read in weeks.
[–]akihonj0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Obviously you have a sever problem with success psycopaths, sorry but who do you think runs the countries and companies that are the most successful in the world, it's not your liberal progressive pussies. You morons can't even look at yourselves without bursting into tears let alone make hard choices.
[–]akihonj0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My god you're a boring person, I feel sorry for you, you really are a loser. I read through your posts and wondered what happened to make somebody so tragic.
[–]arm_candy2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Aww, don’t stop now. Please regale me with more of your badassery.
[–]akihonj0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
No sorry I have better things to do than stick with losers.
[–]arm_candy1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Godspeed Mr Machiavelli.
[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Isn't the real question here "How hot are her friends?"
[–]akihonj1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Yeah that's a good point there, the op was more bothered about meeting her friends boyfriends so I focussed on that but yeah have at it if that's your bag.
[–]arm_candy0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Of course you were focused on the boyfriends instead of the girls. You’re clearly flaming.
[–]akihonj0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
oh so you're suggesting that I should be focussed on her, that she is somehow more important than the op who was the one asking the question, I'm sadly impressed as to how you took something asked by somebody and turned it around into something that I should somehow care about her more.
That's a very narcissistic approach for you to take there, I think you might need to speak to a professional about that.
[–]arm_candy0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Honest question, is English a second language for you?
Is that the best you can do, surely you have to go and weigh yourself.
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