So, where can I go now?

sexyshoulderdevil · 2016-05-02T02:34:41+00:00

I might get downvoted for this but it seems like you might be a candidate for some real therapy. Don't go to any wackjob but someone with a Ph.D. and legitimately trained in Cognitive Behavior Therapy. They may be able to provide some tools to avoid your addictive tendencies and help you move forward and further away from them. Your question seems to dance outside the scope of MRP's wheelhouse.

2016-05-02T11:06:05+00:00

I hardly ever understand anything you post but this one seems almost rational to me. I don't think anyone can give you any pointers for your "general life direction." Maybe you ought to try just "being in order" for awhile and it will become apparent.

abdada · 2016-05-02T02:14:13+00:00

Age?

One thing I suggest to divorced males is to get a part time job being social.

Barista on weekends. Bartender or bouncer or barback. Low paying but awesome social contacts. Gets you active and meeting women.

And if you dig the market, maybe buy into a business and become an owner.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-05-02T15:56:51+00:00

Get to another meeting. Contact your sponsor to scratch that itch.

Any major life changes is likely to increase those urges temporarily. It is almost the biggest Shit Test life can throw at you.

If the urges become urgent and you cannot control them, check yourself into 3 days of in patient treatment.

You are going through a lot of shit right now and lesser men than you have collapsed into helplessness under this pressure so there is no shame to finding a therapist to talk about this. Look into CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

Any "general pointers in direction of your life mission"?

In my book I suggest taking out 5 blank sheets a paper and write one of these words across the top:

-Personal

-Psychological

-Emotional

-Financial

-Spiritual

Then below them, write your specific goals for the short (the next few days or weeks); medium term (the next few months to 3 years) and long term (the next 3-5 years). I would put staying clean as your number one goal in all 5 of the categories. List that goal as a function of your mission in life with specific identifiers and behaviors as they relate to the type of improvement you are developing.

(For example: Personal Goal 1:

-Short Term- Stay off drugs by continuing to develop myself as a PUA (or whatever).

-Medium Term- stay off drugs by building a network of sober friends and activities.

-Long Term- Stay off drugs by building a full, busy and exciting drug free life, in particular at the gym.

Personal Goal 2: Psychological

--Short Term: Stay off drugs by working on my PUA skills and in particular by approaching 10 new women every day.

--Medium Term: Stay off drugs by reading etc etc.

And so on. This is just a model. You need to figure out your short, medium and long term goals on your own.

HelloImRIGHT · 2016-05-02T19:03:29+00:00

idk your history, and I'm not going to go through your post history to find out. However, I'm sure youre an addict (your name).

Remember, you're not an ex addict, youre an addict. As am I. Been clean 3 years from heroin. I dont drink, or smoke, or any of that nonsense its a disgusting waste of time for me these days. In any event, go to meetings(like a lot), create a solid network of people who are sober.

Then start hitting the gym, funnel your life into being healthy.

Then reap the rewards of doing both those things. A sound mind, and a healthy body is an attractive thing.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2016-05-02T03:14:13+00:00

I've got no idea what you're talking about, but you came here for something and based on your title, you're looking for direction. Strangers can't give you direction but maybe it's time for you to revisit your life goals and take a sober assessment of what direction you want to take your life. It's also a good time to revisit or generate a bucket list of things you want to accomplish and get to work.

sh0ckley · 2016-05-02T11:50:30+00:00

Other men cannot decide your life Mission but it was important for me to acknowledge the one I have. My Mission has been helpful in building a part of my life that is separate from my wife. Despite my shortcomings in other areas, I am grateful to have space where she is not involved.

Chump_No_More · 2016-05-02T15:59:55+00:00

Where do I go from now? Should I read MAP? Any other resources?

If you haven't read MAP, then it's pretty obvious that you haven't been running a serious one. Reading, building & executing a MAP would be a huge step towards improving your life and finding your passion.

Also, if you haven't finished the sidebar, then you've got a long way to go and shouldn't be posting shit like this here.

As others said, get some professional help to develop some coping strategies and gain some introspection.

Boesman12 · 2016-05-03T19:21:10+00:00

I'm no therapist. But it sounds like your addiction is still getting the bettet of you.

All I can say is that if you choose a hobby or something worthwhile to pursue do something that requires other guys to attend. It might seem straightforward, but if I were you the last thing I would want to be is alone too much.

You need someone to keep your mind occupied for a while at least until you get more control over your addiction.

SorcererKing · 2016-05-05T06:01:45+00:00

See this.

Title	So, where can I go now?
Author	ex_addict_bro
Upvotes	5
Comments	14
Date	May 2, 2016 2:07 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4hdgdz/so_where_can_i_go_now/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/so-where-can-i-go-now.207456 https://theredarchive.com/post/207456