Stay vs. Go Plan At Odds?

November 30, 2018

Requisite stats: 175lbs, 5'8", 14%BF, BP 210, SQ 365, DL 415

As I progress in my MAP I am finding that there are things I would do differently if I was going to leave my wife vs. stay with her. The standard shit is all pretty straight forward: controlling finances/budgets, owning shit around the house, leading my kids/wife, hobbies, friends, etc. However, I am finding that some things I surely wouldn't do or would be counter-intuitive to do if I were to leave.

For example, if I stay I certainly am going to be purchasing some real estate investment properties for passive income but if I were to leave the reduction to a single income and a tighter budget increases the risk of doing this. Also, I have been starting to work on building a coaching practice which I have been doing for free to test out some of my ideas with friends/family but moving this to the next stage would be additional income that would increase my alimony/child support in the divorce. These are just a few examples and I am finding there are others that are not quite as impactful but similar.

The idea of not moving forward on things and delaying them because of concern for an unknown future event just doesn't sit well with me but these things do have real world implications.

As I write this not sure I have a question other than looking for alternative ways to look at the situation.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the subreddit /r/askMRP.

/r/askMRP archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title Stay vs. Go Plan At Odds?
Author hack3ge
Upvotes 10
Comments 26
Date November 30, 2018 9:51 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link
Original Link
Similar Posts
Red Pill terms in post

[–]redwall927 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Life is in the grey, right? You're in a relationship with another person, so you're going to affect each other. Can't get around that. Can't put a total and complete buffer between the two of you.

Similar boat here on a smaller level. Doing some major remodels to our house. I have my preferences; wife has hers. We'll come to some agreements, we'll compromise where we are ok doing so.

If I could see the future where divorce, I'd just paint, do cheap carpet, and be done. If my time machine was working and I could see us staying together in a good way, then I'd be fine putting some more cash into the house and redoing a large portion of the main part of the house.

Like I tell my wife currently when she harps on something in the past - I'm still working on my time machine.

You keep working on your time machine, and let us know when you can see far enough into the future so that you can make decisions today based on outcomes next year in order to prevent bearing the risk now.

I'm still working on mine.

[–]BobbyPeru6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It depends on how serious you are about possibly leaving. You didn’t say, and we are not mind readers. It’s not that complex if you figure out if you’re close to leaving or not. The fact that you don’t seem to know suggests you are not close. Leaving a marriage is a process , not an event. So, since you’re probably not close, the stay plan should be the same as the go plan.

[–]Frosteecat7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do what you WANT to do. Count the cost later, if at all. Fuck fear.

[–]framelessglasses6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your tail is wagging the dog.

Your tail will just get tired.

You are wasting valuable time.

If you only had 5 years to live, what would you do now? More importantly, why?

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I get losing some of your income to support/alimony, but you should have the attitude that you will thrive regardless. Nothing wrong with a little planning and forward thinking, but it should never move to a paralysis by analysis. The stay plan is the go plan (unless your hamster gets in the way).

[–]BarracudaRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

you should have the attitude that you will thrive regardless

Nailed it. I have to remind myself: abundance mentality applies to every area, not just women.

[–]hack3ge[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I am actually not concerned with my situation should I divorce her. I got a worst case scenario from my lawyer and I would have no issues but it would be a risk carrying an investment property on a single income. My general thought now is just move forward with what I want to do and have a plan on what I would do in the divorce even if it is selling the property.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are scared of the future, stop that. Instead of wasting mental energy throw yourself and the wasted mental energy in realizing your ambitions.

You will NEVER know 100% if you are making the right decision. Being a man of value is owning that insecurity and 100% confidence in your decisions.

With your current thinking you are going to hold back, miss opportunities and resent your wife because she held you back.

No one knows the future, live your life to the fullest.

[–]hack3ge[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is what I needed - I’d rather fail or have to deal with something in the future than regret not taking action.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You are mindfucking this to death.

Get your shit on and practice with her. If she can’t come around then you are prepped.

STFU and the hamster off and lift

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had concerns my hamster was behind it as that bastard is sneaky even though I have him mostly under control now.

I’m on DL6 and improving DL4 and she does seem to be turning the corner. We were on the once a month missionary ovulation plan for the past 6 years and now we are 3-4 times a week with BJs, all positions and sex outside the bedroom finally being back on the table.

I have reasons why I would still leave though which I’m sure are hamstered as well.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm, seems like to me something like a real estate investment could be heavily debt burdened and seen as an liability not an asset. You'd be a nice guy by offering to assume that liability.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Interesting I hadn’t thought about it within that context. Obviously on paper it will be a large debt but since the goal is it covers its own costs for maintenance and mortgage it’s actually not a large liability.

[–]BirdManBrrrr1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

All that responsibility being a landlord, vacancy risk can impact cash flow, unforeseen maintenance expenses...

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Agreed was my initial concern but my goal is a multi-unit residence that I can cover the carrying costs with having one unit vacant.

Also there is risk in all investment but my goal is passive income streams so it’s next up on my MAP.

[–]Mr_KenSpeckle1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Psst... If I’m not mistaken, BirdManBrrrr is hinting that in the event of divorce, you may find your investment property has more expenses than you had anticipated which would lower its value in a divorce settlement.

[–]hack3ge[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy shit I just realized what you were saying - I have a bug out fund but have an even better idea now.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The stay and the go plan should be the same.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Buy an investment property as a backup residence if you split you live in one of the units. That way you don’t have to scramble to look for a new place.

As for your side gig, get paid in cash that way won’t affect alimony.

[–]Kpwn880 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As for your side gig, get paid in cash that way won’t affect alimony.

Which is more profitable: crack, or heroin?

[–]Redpillbrigade171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem you have is one of prioritizing. The solution is to play a bit of what if, and really outline the vision you want to create for your future life. Paint that future you (lifestyle, relationships, activities, work, hobbies etc. ) in as much detail as possible. Use a 5- , 10- and 15- yr horizon.

Ultimately I think you’ll find that the nagging feeling of not doing something that’s very important to your fulfillment because of some perceived future risk, is worse than actually doing what you want/love and lose some of it - materially.

Don’t limit yourself.

Now when it comes to implementing, there are smart and less smart ways of doing it, to protect yourself in event of divorce. You know your specifics, but for example you should be careful with what you put in your name/ what’s joint. Also keep in mind if you borrow, the loans will be joint liabilities, so that may be a good thing.

Lastly I assume you met with a lawyer yet ? Always good to be prepared - and have some do’s and don’ts from a professional.

Good luck.

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like too much mental masturbation. You are your own obstacle by finding reasons you can’t accomplish those same goals on your own.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


I couldn't resist.

The PLAN is your life goal and your mission. Guess what? A big part of the execution of that plan includes your wife if you are married!

I would like to spend Christmas in Thailand banging 18 year old triplets but I don't do it. Why? Because I am married.

That changes my plan- but it doesn't change my PLAN. My life goal and mission was never to live as a drugged out and VD'd out junkie in Thailand. That plan was just to do it for a week or two so I guess it is OK to alter the plan for my wife and not feel it makes me less Alpha and more Beta.

[–]470_2_700_nm0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Usually when things get complicated I ask my dick. Here is what it said:

The go plan means you are no longer jizzing on her or inside her any more.

[–]hack3ge[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Haha I’m gonna use this line of thinking - what goes my dick want?

I just had a vasectomy so on her right now and in 2 months will be in her by default. I mean right now I track her cycle and surprise her by not pulling out when I know she can’t get pregnant. She used to hate me for it but now I think secretly it turns her on.

[–]Gtrplyr38380 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t see how staying with her and tying down with investment property would be more desirable than GTFO and then do what you want, other than the asset/liability balance sheet. If you are thinking divorce now, life won’t get better by staying.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2021. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter