So. Some shit has come full circle for me and I need some advice on tactics.
Cut the shit summary: 43yo,6 months into MAP. 6'2/205/15%bf. shirtless pic. Primary lifts are pretty weak, secondarys OK. 5rep maxes: BP205, DL275 (my form sucks), curls 100, tri's 100, rows 180. I don't squat, knees cant take it. Read MMSLP, NMMNG, WISNIFG, Pook, Sex God, rational male. Career is great, hobbies great. Got first place in an MTB enduro race 3 weeks ago and moved up to expert class. Several chicks I could definitely hook up with given a few days groundwork. Ferry girl is still around and interested, but not as long as I'm still married. 3-4 other women in our circle are ripe for the plucking, but would all need some closure to my own marriage to pursue. I'll be in Asia next week and there will almost certainly be some friendly locals and expats around. TLDR: I have options, but they all need developing to become reality.
So here's the trainwreck: A few months ago I wrote two separate posts. One on how my wifes BFF is getting a divorce, and another on how her chiropractor/massage therapist is a beast man who is probably fucking half his clients.
I come to learn today, that it was actually the BFF who fucked the chiropractor, while still married to her ex "Bill" who is also a friend of mine. To complicate the story, Bill was not a weak beta bux by any stretch of the imagination, though he was definitely a drunk captain. He was actually a bit of a badass: ultra marathoner, motorcycle racer, surfer, endurance athlete, in really good shape, with lots of natural alpha tendencies. He also had some moderate to serious drug abuse problems. Weed, molly, xanex, booze, he liked to get high. IMO, he failed her comfort tests, and badly. They had 3 kids and he just wasn't a present father or partner.
So their 12 year marriage hit the rocks a few months ago and its mostly over now, but its gone very acrimoniously. Naturally, my wife, as the BFF, has heard every tearful conversation, and relayed most of them to me. Until about an hour ago, I believed, naively, that BFF hadn't actually cheated on Bill, and had innocently gotten out of a toxic marriage to a drug abuser. But true to form, female solipsism couldn't keep its mouth shut, and my wife ended up revealing that BFF fucked the chiropractor, and that was the source of all the toxicity surrounding their divorce. Thanks to the gods that I met you guys 6 months ago, and didn't fall into an argument about it. I said simply: "Infidelity has a lot of collateral damage." and left it for further consideration.
So that's the backstory, here's my dilemma: I now have zero respect for the BFF, but my wife will still be hanging around her as much as always. BFF is a fitness instructor, with a zillion instragram followers, a flock of fitness groupies (wife included) and is definitely a big influence on my wife. That influence is positive in terms of fitness, but the cheating and the divorce is certainly not. We are having a graduation party for my older son this week, and BFF will almost certainly attend. At the moment, I want to tell the wife that her sleazy whore friend is not welcome in my house, but I'm sure that will A: cause a big unpleasant argument that I don't care to engage in, and B: reveal that I do in fact GAF, and that I haven't internalized AWALT, and I'm letting the machinations of a silly thot get in my head.
I think I understand the strategy here: float above their petty bullshit, be the oak, with my own goals and my own frame. What I'm not sure of is the tactics: better to set a boundary (BFF is not welcome here), or just ignore the incident? How best to address the BFF? I'm currently thinking AM her like a child, knowing that AWALT and I may as well be mad at the sky for being blue. Fuck but sometimes this pill has a bitter taste.
All thoughts welcome.