~ archived since 2018 ~

Tip: puking never helps. Take ownership. Don't be a victim.

November 20, 2017

Another thing I learned is not to go cry (puke) to someone when things go wrong. Not your buddy, not the sub and certainly not your wife.

When something goes wrong get out a notepad and retrace the steps leading up to the bad event backwards. What precipitated it ? What did you want to happen ? Why didn't it happen ?

Don't ever blame someone else for something that didn't go your way. Everyone acts in their own best interests. Figure out what YOU needed to do to have the situation come out in your best interest. Next time it happens, do things differently.

Realize that you are being a victim when you complain. You are trying to evoke sympathy and get rescued when you complain. You are trying to shift the blame for the outcome away from yourself to someone else when you complain. NONE of these actions will help you learn and move forward.

The way to get out of victim mode is to generate options and then empower yourself to use them. Look at the event retrace on your notepad and come up with 3 to 5 things that could have been done differently to prevent the outcome. Once you've done that, reaffirm that you are strong enough, smart enough and capable enough to do things differently NEXT time.

Whenever you feel like a victim, assess the situation and take options. Don't look for sympathy, don't blame shift. Do this until it becomes second nature. Whenever you think "this sucks" or "poor me" or "that wasn't fair" start generating options. Get so you can do it in real time as a situation is unfolding.

As long as we remain in victim mode, we remain stuck. Puking just keeps us there. The sooner you start generating options, the sooner you empower yourself and start controlling your situation.

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Post Information
Title Tip: puking never helps. Take ownership. Don't be a victim.
Author ImSteveMcQueen
Upvotes 17
Comments 15
Date November 20, 2017 11:39 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/tip-puking-never-helps-take-ownership-dont-be-a.205143
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7edb3l/tip_puking_never_helps_take_ownership_dont_be_a/
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