Took red pill, not attracted to wife anymore

RedPillCoach · 2019-01-18T00:05:38+00:00

This is a well known side effect of waking up to reality- aka taking the pill and has been discussed and confirmed many times.

Your attraction was in whole or part based on your need for a mommy to your Beta. Now that the dynamic has changed there is no basis of your attraction.

Are there other positive factors about this woman that you could recognize in order to build other more healthy bases of attraction?

CasinoRoyale4455 · 2019-01-17T23:32:42+00:00

I think before you make any hard decisions you need to follow the Mindful Attraction Plan, give it a year, working each of the steps. If you still feel the same at the end you can do what you want and will have a better SMV for your move.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-01-18T01:13:55+00:00

Yep. It happens. Give it time though and make sure that it isn’t from all that resentment you have towards her.

It’s not her fault, but yours- that she wasn’t attracted to you. She just liked your provider traits and thought you’d be a good husband.

Once you unfuck yourself, she might come around for you and you may fall back in love ^tm .

RedPill-BlackLotus · 2019-01-18T00:28:02+00:00

Do career betas take the red pill, then wake up with a women they don't find attractive and have no desire to be with?

Ya lots of guys do. You have to reestablish a new you and do the work to actually figure out what you really want. It's not easy and your not even close.

We all walk our own path. The way your post reads to me, looks like you are looking for permission to leave her.

Be your own judge.

Beta is just a word rolo threw in a book and now regrets.

Forget about your fucking wife and just focus on yourself. You couldn't pull another one right now anyway and your game is probably shit. Work on it in this dumpster fire of a marriage.

CaliEd256 · 2019-01-18T02:08:38+00:00

Absolutely. There’s two kinds of sex, validational and transactional.

Transactional = Be a good little hubby, do the dishes and maybe MAYBE you’ll get lucky.

Validational = “Wife gave me starfish this week, so she must love me.”

Once you swallow the red pill, you reject transactional sex and you don’t need validational sex.

It comes back around, but you’re right, it might not be your wife that you want to fuck anymore.

FeralRed · 2019-01-18T05:49:35+00:00

Give the rope time to pay out, get tight, and start to pull.

We tend to go fucking nuclear in the beginning and cut all the attachments.... time.... Going Rambo is the biggest and most common mistake we all make.

You can cut the fucking towline at any time....so give yourself some time to start piloting your ship in the direction and speed you choose.

You being the operative word here.

You're not doing anything for her, it's all about you. See where your mindset is still tweaked and therefore "her" is still the largest chunk of real estate in your mind?

BarracudaRP · 2019-01-19T18:34:48+00:00

Yes, this is common. I am still going through this, and I also came here for advice. I bet you have valid reasons for not being attracted to your wife (physical and otherwise).

She initiated last night and I said no

In my experience, this is a terrible idea unless you've got a damn good reason. You need to be fucking a human female, not reacting like one. Do you know who turns down sex because they don't FEEL like it? Women and faggots. If you start and she's giving a poor effort, you walk the fuck away! The first time I walked away from a chore blow job was a permanent shift in my marriage, but it wouldn't have happened if I did what I wanted and just went to sleep.

Also, quit beating off and looking at porn. After 5 days you'll feel different and after 3 weeks you'll wonder why you ever settled for such a clearly fake distraction.

Tbonesupreme · 2019-01-18T14:13:35+00:00

After you put the work in, she might WANT to fuck you. Genuine attraction is much easier to reciprocate.

In reality, you're probably more disgusted with yourself than you're disgusted with her. You will eventually re-associate sex with pleasure, and not a symbol of your failures.

Maybe get yourself all pissed off about it, and grudge fuck her. That might light a spark.

InChargeMan · 2019-01-18T02:44:11+00:00

Yep, the bubbles means it's working.

Give it time, keep working on yourself, likely once you are out of the anger phase it will pass. Or not. Either way, doesn't change anything for now.

0io- · 2019-01-25T18:08:46+00:00

You've only been lifting for two months. If you stick it out for a long time (years), you may discover that your wife all of a sudden has not only a lot more sexual interest in you (which in itself will make her more attractive and better in bed), but also that she starts taking much better care of herself and working out a lot in order to keep up with you.

At some point she's likely to notice, "hey, my husband is in really great shape and he's really hot, I'd better find some way keep him around if I want to stay in this marriage... I see the way those girls look at him. Maybe I need to get in shape..."

Sepean · 2019-01-18T08:55:59+00:00

What is your problem exactly?

Is it that you're butthurt over your past? That feeling will likely to pass.

Or is it that your wife is just not hot enough? And if so, is it something that's fixable with some dieting and a makeover?

IRunYourRiver · 2019-01-18T15:18:18+00:00

I had a similar experience, it wasnt a quick phase either. I choose that time to re-read the books and continue to improve. Don't make any hasty decisions or say anything you will regret.

Despite learning everything you have, it takes a while to become this new man... as slowly as you pack on muscle is how slowly you advance through this....

CasinoRoyale4455 · 2019-01-20T03:03:08+00:00

Thanks

suprathepeg · 2019-01-24T14:07:11+00:00

So many good answers here.

Yea resentment is a real bitch. You learn to choke it down (took me months).

It changes as you change. I resented mine for different reasons as I slowly unfucked areas of my mind. Eventually you see her in all her base human glory and you begin to understand who she really is. You see her coping mechanisms at play and you understand that she’s just another woman in a sea of women.

Also not mentioned. Go get your T levels checked. If your currently dropping fat they’re probably pretty low.

Title	Took red pill, not attracted to wife anymore
Author	CasinoRoyale4455
Upvotes	16
Comments	46
Date	January 17, 2019 6:46 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ah0zg0/took_red_pill_not_attracted_to_wife_anymore/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/took-red-pill-not-attracted-to-wife-anymore.203669 https://theredarchive.com/post/203669