Obligatory stats: 41, 5'10, 150 lbs, been in the gym for real for 1 year. Bench 154 lbs, DL 286 lbs, OHP 88 lbs, Squat 242 lbs.
In the beginning of September, I noticed that I was not wearing my wedding ring. I always take it off at the gym to prevent damage to it, and had forgotten to put it back on. Not a big deal, but I didn’t really feel like wearing it then. Not really thought through on my part, and not consciously meant as a power play or signal to the wife.
Wife didn’t even notice, and two weeks later I went on a guy trip to Ibiza. When facetiming with the wife (and my little daughters) during my time there, she jokingly wanted to see my wedding ring. I said that I was not wearing it, and she pretended to be offended but didn’t make a big deal out of it. Not in the phone call, and not when I got back home. It didn’t even come up again at all.
Several more weeks pass, and we have had arguments and all, but no mention of not wearing the wedding ring.
While we are getting ready for bed, I get a big shit test about me not wearing my ring. Asking me the reason why I’m not wearing it. With my wet paper frame, I DEER-ed that it was in my sports bag and I was OK with that. She accused me of not having the nerve to tell her I lost the ring, I repeated that it was in my sports bag. She asked again why I was not wearing it, and I repeated that I was OK with it being in my sports bag.
She got really pissed and this led to me putting the ring back on. It really didn’t seem worth the trouble, we are married after all and the ring is a symbol for our promise to be faithful and monogamous. I realise I was completely in her frame though.
I’m a bit torn on this event. I clearly failed this shit test, but there also hadn’t gone much thought into not wearing the ring. This seems to me a lack of vision and thus frame on my part. Other than having a clear vision about (not) wearing the ring, any thoughts about how could I have handled this event better?