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What is the frame you guys have when it comes to your life with the wife?

InconspicuousWand
June 14, 2018
5 upvotes
/r/askMRP

Sorry for all the post this will be my last one for a bit. but I’m trying to get out of her fucking frame.

I’ve read almost every post there is to read on frame and I still manage to end up in hers.

My frame is focus on my mission (my career and business I want to start. Save money. While getting out of debt) but I also want to be a better captain/man Not only for me. But I want to be better to her. I managed to stay in my frame and she responded well but I’m also getting more backlash and bombarded with questions. And anger by her. I guess this her kind of Being confused as to what I’m doing since I’m always operating in her frame prior to all this. Idk why frame is such a hard concept for me to fucking grasp when it comes to dealing with her tests.

What frame do you guys have when it comes to this shit so I can get an idea of what a proper frame is

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Post Information
Title What is the frame you guys have when it comes to your life with the wife?
Author InconspicuousWand
Upvotes 5
Comments 35
Date June 14, 2018 5:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/what-is-the-frame-you-guys-have-when-it-comes-to.204346
https://theredarchive.com/post/204346
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8r3o70/what_is_the_frame_you_guys_have_when_it_comes_to/
Red Pill terms in post
frame
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Comments

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED8 points9 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Learn to not be afraid if she gets angry.

[–]shadowycoder2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This has been one of the biggest lessons I've learned recently. Her emotions are not my problem to fix. Let her have her feelz and keep on chugging along.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

https://www.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/6wafgm/you_can_not_fear_her_emotions/

[–]TirionTheHallowed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read this OP. Like, now.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think I’m afraid as much as I hate dealing with it. It will literally cause her to me miserable all day. Who wants to be around a miserable chick all day. It’s weird the way to get her out of this is to literally explain myself which i know is the wrong way. But that’s what I’ve seen work

[–]creating_my_life5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think I’m afraid as much as I hate dealing with it.

Hate is still an emotion. You need to learn apathy. You need to become a man focused on your mission with a feeling of abundance toward women such that you simply don't care if she's being salty. She can leave. For an hour, a week, forever. You don't fucking care.

Who wants to be around a miserable chick all day.

The first time I told my wife that I would rather be alone than with her while she's being salty, it shattered her glass house so badly she spent days emotionally coming to terms with how I instantly redrew the boundaries of the relationship. Because I was simply stating a fact about how I felt that wasn't negotiable. It took years for me to get to that place of peace and strength.

It’s weird the way to get her out of this is

It's not your job to get her out of it. It's her job to make your life better.

to literally explain myself which i know is the wrong way. But that’s what I’ve seen work

How's that working out for ya, anyways?

[–]InconspicuousWand1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I’m ripped I’m 215 10% body fat. I run gear the lifting is the main thing I got in check. Always

[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

How much do you understand about Dread? If your stats are true, women should be hanging all over you and eye-fucking you. Your wife should know this.

Why isn't she worried you'll get tired of her shit and enjoy a younger, thinner, prettier pussy bouncing on your cock?

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Oh it happens. Her best friends do it. She hates it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

What is your stack? What is your total lift?

[–]wildnight98MRP APPROVED1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don’t hang around with people who act miserable.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

>It’s weird the way to get her out of this is to literally explain myself

this is not because the words make her comfortable, its your actions, submitting to her, establishing that she's still in control by explaining yourself.

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

her..”I want to learn”

Give her a copy of The Surrendered Wife and a copy of Thinner Leaner Stronger and tell her to go read them and share what she learns.

That should shut her up for a while, and may even benefit you. She's looking for direction, Captain.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In life, you get to decide who the protagonist and antagonist will be and whether you are the dominate or subordinate.

You get to decide what your frame will be.

In addition to your vision (career, goals, etc) which is good, Might help to adapt the cocky and playful frame around your wife. Don’t always be too serious and boring. Get off the phone, tease and Game her constantly.

Skew everything in your favor as if you are the Prize. You are. She and every other chick is trying to qualify themselves to you. No rejections, just data points and learning experiences to apply the next time.

Edit: stop monk mode around her. Do that by yourself. Never tell her that you are learning. Dry up that pussy fast. She just wants you to get it. Not learn from your phone. Go with cocky and playful. She needs to know that there is no controlling you and that there is a man in the house who wants to fuck- and not necessarily her. You will look at other women and not be ashamed of it. Basically, unrealistic confidence. Like if saying “ my life is great and just keeps getting better”. No sob stories of the past. Max out SMV, reward her with comfort by golden ratio only.

Enjoy life in your new frame

[–]wekacuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Go read somewhere else if she's committed to being a pest about it.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

no. no. no. double no.

Frame is not the decisions you make. This is female thought. most women think frame is just making a decision to do what they want to do. This isn't frame.

Here is a great little cheat sheet

But Frame is attitude. Your mind. Where it is at. It's all the things coming together. game, OI, DGAF. A lot of guys see frame a like some magical barrier to protect them from the bad people. Terms like Holding frame make chuckle I hear my drill sergeant after someone said during combative class that they could hold their own in a fight. Drill Sergeant looked at him and said...well don't hold it close to me I don't want your man goo on my uniform.

I believe that frame is one of the last things that happen to a man and you won't even know it until it happens. That day it all just falls in to place. It's like you going out with the guys. Couple of your buddies are single other are married. Now the single guys they want to get laid tonight and as a RP man you think. Yeah a little gaming could be fun. So you get to the bar to warm up. get some carbs down for the night of drinking. Only the 2 single dudes can't stop and now they are sloshed. But hey. It's a good time here. the table is fun. everyone is laughing. Only there's the girl over there eye fucking you, or is it one of your buddies. Doesn't matter all for a good night. Then as you are getting the another round her mcgilla gorilla sized boyfriend walks up and decides he's done with the eye fucking.

You, again the RP man you are realize this behemoth must know something about working out.

brah, tell me what is your work out plan? it must be monstrous. Myself I am on Madcow

Old boy looks at you like dafuq? but hey you just put a beer on order for him and invite him to sit. All the while picking his brain for more information on working out. Dude has been there. Soon his girl is there hanging all over him. Eye fucking him again. IN the middle of the conversation something magical comes by. Nachos.

Hell fuck yeah. Nachos sound amazing. Order a plate for the table all the fixings. It's on....oh and fuck the beers tequila shots everybody up.

Your drunk fools for friends are slobbering all over the girl and her friends who started showing up, and you start poking fun at your idiot friends. Your other buddies are getting into it. Soon a few more people start hanging around the tale and beers are flowing. Instead of accepting rounds people are arguing over who's round it is to buy. Laughs going, you are telling stories of your life, laughing at all the others.

By the end. You got the big dudes number a promise to meet up at the gym so he can show you a routine that might crack that 400 pound barrier on your squat. Made some memories. Maybe some new friends.

Who cares.

Frame.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

Awesome examples. So is frame me thinking every chick wants me (even tho not true) I think it. I believe it. So I act as If I already have them.

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

So is frame me thinking every chick wants me (even tho not true) I think it. I believe it. So I act as If I already have them.

Nope. that's "Assuming the close".

Frame is a much bigger concept. And has little to do with chicks.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I don’t know why I can’t grasp it..

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Here's a trivially simple example... It's in the evening. You and the wife are sitting around. She asks, "What do you want for dinner?"

What's your answer?

Or another, you and the wife are sitting on the sofa watching TV. She says, "Hey, would you get me a drink?" What do you say?

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I tell her chicken or turkey.

And I will get her a drink if I’m up because I know she would do the same for me

[–]theycallmeshiv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Answer # 1: "Damn. Didn't they tell you? You are my dinner tonight."

Answer # 2: "No. But while you're up, do that thing with your ass I like."

Don't have the courage to say those things? Go read the fucking sidebar.

[–]rpsheepdog0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I try to think of frame as a lens sometimes.

Lets say you are looking at a white car, objectively. When you put on a pair of glasses that are blue, now the car is blue, if you put on a pair that are red the car is now red. If you wear them long enough, you see everything in red and it becomes normal.

Its how you view certain situations and how they affect your life.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s a good way to put it. Would a person who is really religious and lives life by those rules be considered that being their frame?

[–]rpsheepdog0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It could be a frame, but an overarching one, at the risk of sounding too cheesy, a frame within a frame. You have frame over wife, but your religious beliefs have a frame over you, and thus her also.

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sorry for all the post this will be my last one for a bit. but I’m trying to get out of her fucking frame.

Good you're aware of it.

I’ve read almost every post there is to read on frame and I still manage to end up in hers.

It's like calculus. Once you understand it, it's obvious. Until then, it makes no sense whatsoever.

My frame is focus on my mission (my career and business I want to start. Save money. While getting out of debt)

Good for you!

but I also want to be a better captain/man

Yay!

Not only for me. But I want to be better to her.

Fail. That's being in her frame.

I managed to stay in my frame and she responded well

Frame is not being worried how she responds. Being worried how she responds is still in her frame.

but I’m also getting more backlash and bombarded with questions.

As expected. Frame is not caring.

And anger by her.

She doesn't sound very pleasant. Frame is recognizing that's her problem and not yours, and she's not adding value to your life.

I guess this her kind of Being confused as to what I’m doing

Frame is not caring about her "why".

since I’m always operating in her frame prior to all this.

I'd like to have a servant, too. It would be really handy.

Idk why frame is such a hard concept for me to fucking grasp when it comes to dealing with her tests.

Just keep working on it. You'll get it.

What frame do you guys have when it comes to this shit so I can get an idea of what a proper frame is

"I want X, X is the best thing for me and my family, I'm executing X." wife: "blah blah whine bitch blah blah". Me in frame: Doesn't notice, continue to execute X. Unless FO has valuable contributions, then integrate and adjust plan.

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

What would your life be without her? Can you CLEARLY see what it would like? I did this exercise, wrote it out step by step, word for word. Once I accepted that EITHER reality was okay (her here, or her gone), then I was better able to maintain frame.

Not perfect, but it has much improved because I was okay with her being gone. So when her shit tests start up, my non verbal/covert communication says “If you don’t like this, you can leave whenever you want”.

[–]InconspicuousWand0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have already had her missing and I was completely fine. I don’t care if she leaves I guess the fact she does add a lot of value to my life. She does everything for me. That I feel like I don’t do enough

[–]CaliEd2560 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t be posting for advice. Chad doesn’t post on AskMRP. If you want to do more for her, then DO MORE. Not because she “expects” you to, but because you want to.

You can do nice shit for her, and still be in your frame. Most guys on here (myself included) have a blue pill background and are fighting to get out of it.

Maybe you’ve transcended that?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My way or the highway.

[–]DanG30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Frame for me is who I was (plus improvements) when she, and others, were first attracted me - those very first meetings - and longer. I wasn’t particularly interested in pleasing her then, nor was I especially ready to provide assurances of exclusivity. I was my own man, take me or leave me.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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