What's the best book for building the Oak?

December 18, 2019

Would like a text that focuses on being the quintessential Oak upon whom others can rely.

That Jordan Peterson quote, about being the guy at the funeral of your father upon whom everyone else can rely, really resonates.

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Post Information
Title What's the best book for building the Oak?
Author Diamondbacking
Upvotes 14
Comments 32
Date December 18, 2019 2:36 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/whats-the-best-book-for-building-the-oak.300912
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ecdf96/whats_the_best_book_for_building_the_oak/
Similar Posts

[–]helaughsinhidden25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is good. So is the book of Proverbs actually.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sidebar reading from back in the day.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I doubt there is "one book" that will tell you how to become the oak. Read all of the recommended books. Put in the work and put the theory into action. Fail, realise where you failed, fix it, repeat, time...

Only then can you build frame and become the Oak that you are referring to.

[–]RStonePT12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

How you gonna read about this covert contract?

Ask yourself, why is it you've decided to focus on being needed by the downtrodden woman in your life?

Maybe it's because I was raised on a ranch, but I understand why we need to kill animals, but I still don't take pleasure in it.

Why do you take such pleasure in taking on someone's emotional fragility?

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe OP wants to be the oak only so it fills that desire inside of him to be needed by others. Validation that he is actually a useful human being.

[–]justpickanyusernameRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think this is the most relevant question, why? It feels like a big ass covert contract to me as well. OP seems to be taking the approach of "how do I become a better plow-horse for everyone" rather than properly unfucking himself first.

You can't be an oak unless you have a balance of alpha and beta. I doubt he has much alpha to begin with so there is nothing to build with anyways. OP is trying to skip a step. It doesn't work.

Sidebar and lift. Still the best book for building an oak.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You had me until

You can't be an oak unless you have a balance of alpha and beta.

You don’t balance the 2. You let your natural alpha come out and provide comfort when necessary... that comfort should come from alpha still

[–]RStonePT5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. The oak isn't an archetype, it's simple a way to conceptualize not buckling when a wee little girl loses her shit

[–]ur-23811 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]threekindsoflucky5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The first step is being able to identify an Oak.

I recommend the Tree Identification Book by George Symonds. This will assist in identifying the target tree of interest. You don't want to be some beta pussy stuck looking at a pine tree.

The second step is to observe the oak. The book Look at an Oak Tree will be your guide in this space. You will want to find an oak worthy of your eyes for the next step.

Once you've found the oak you're looking for, you'll need to spend some quality time. I personally recommend the book A year around the Oak Tree by Gerda Muller. After your year of observation, you'll probably deserve a break, at which time you should pick up and read Under the Oak Tree.

[–]mrpthrowa8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link


It does wonders - no woman can resist the aura of an effortlessly stoic abundant male.

[–]theunconquored2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read everything recommended here in MRP and in TRP. Go to the gym. Get your T situation sorted out if necessary. Apply consistent effort over time, and shut up about all of it while you work. Give it a couple of years of this effort.

You don't build a tree. It grows. Slowly.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

In times of trouble and doubt - when I am unsure of how I can be the Oak - I like to sit atop a mountain and look out at the landscape in front of me. There is something about being at a height, looking down upon the world that helps to put things into a perspective.

When I am there, I take my troubles and unfold them like a napkin, hold them in my hand, and ask myself, "what would Jesus do?"

The answer is always the same.. "I have no fucking idea what Jesus would do".

And so, I make up my own mind and leave the mountain top to go and have a cup of hot coffee.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Dude... Why don't you take the coffee up the mountain with you?

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Would Jesus take the coffee up the mountain or would the mountain take the coffee to him?

Some questions we'll never know the answers to.

[–]mrbadassmotherfucker6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd guess that he'd grind up some dirt and turn it into coffee

[–]becoming_alpha2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just finished extreme ownership, pretty good stuff on being a reliable leader.

Sidenote: I was that guy at my father's funeral a year ago. It doesn't mean anything and isn't an awesome goal to strive for. It really meant I still had to own my shit while grieving. I'm still grinding away working my MAP to be the best version of myself I can be. Why don't you focus on that instead?

[–]amalgamator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The idea of differentiation that Dr. David Schnarch writes about. Working on your 4 Points of Balance.


His best book is “Intimacy and Desire” - It’s unfortunately out of print, but worth getting from the library or buying used.

[–]NeoTheJuanDJ1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mastery by Robert Greene Book of Pook Meditations by Marcus Aurelius
Rational Male Year One.

Those four to start.

Others include Way of The Superior Man, No More Mister Nice Guy, and the rest of the sidebar.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Who the fuck knows. I am not Bob Vila.

[–]JoeBuckYourslf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Every one of the required readings on the sidebar.

And then read them again.

And then listen to them.

And re read them again.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]mrpmonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is there free pdf for this?

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Stronglifts is a shit program btw.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Maybe so, but the intent of the comment was to convey "the book you want is called STFU and lift" not to tell him exactly what book to read. =)

[–]mitch2you800 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Unless you like horse legs and a tiny chest.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

books prime the subconscious but there are no shortcuts. trials, tribulations, focused attention and respect of reality is what creates character, you will not become the man you want to be without overcoming obstacles you didnt think possible.

[–]Rifleshoot-5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seriously, the Bible. So much of it is about being unflappable in your convictions, even as the entire world stands against you.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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