~ archived since 2018 ~

Why do I feel so empty inside?

August 3, 2021
17 upvotes

Ok, so this is going to be a little different.

I have been following Red Pill principles for the past 4 years - give or take.

I have been in the fortunate situation that when I have found RedPill on Reddit I was at my lowest and the cruel lessons in life really jumpstarted and fueled the fire in me to change for the better.

By now, I have managed to build up my own life, my own frame, my own vision, the ship is sailing with or without a first mate and I feel invincible.

I'm successfull at work, side gigs are coming along nicely and finally I have managed to get back into the gym routine again - (doctors finally cleared me for proper exercise as I had a herniated disc last year and a torn muscles in my shoulders).

Stats atm:

  • 195cm, 92KG, 14% body fat ( loosing about 0,75Kilos of fat every week)
  • Bench max: 65KG at one rep max
  • Squat: 150KG at one rep max
  • Deadlift: 100KG at one rep max

Rationally, when I look at my life, I feel like at the age of 30, I actually have my shit together and am way ahead of most of my peers in terms of status, power, career, finance and even looks.

I am seeing a girl that is super submissive, she calls herself my personal little slut, really enjoy leading her and she just gobbles up my manliness and I can see it on her how much joy and happiness she is getting out of me letting her behave like a real woman - which in some way feeds my manly ego.

So here is the problem.

Why am I still not happy?

What aggravates me about this the most is that I literally cannot find one aspect of my life that I could pinpoint as the root cause of this problem.

I really fucking should be that dude that is living his best life as a young, financially independent, successful man.

However, nowadays I feel like I am just going through the motions of my daily routine and am not getting a whole lot of joy or excitement out of most things.

Everything feels kind of bland, even the amazing sex the girl offers does not excite me anymore the way it used to excite me in the past.

What the actual fuck is wrong with me, what did I miss?

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Post Information
Title Why do I feel so empty inside?
Author abratoki
Upvotes 17
Comments 46
Date August 3, 2021 8:46 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askMRP
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/why-do-i-feel-so-empty-inside.796737
https://theredarchive.com/post/796737
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/owzc1f/why_do_i_feel_so_empty_inside/
Red Pill terms in post
Comments

[–]KirthWGersen 44 points45 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

"I have my shit together and am way ahead of most of my peers in terms of status, power, career, finance and even looks."

"Why am I still not happy?"

Because those things do not make a person happy. And you are comparing yourself to other people instead of focusing on what is important to you.

It sounds trite, but happiness does come from within.

In my opinion, developing a personal philosophy, an approach to life, that satisfies you, is the most important thing a person can do. Reflect on life, read about the experiences of others, find out what you value beyond the mere physical and status.

The happiest people either do not have those things you mention or are not attached to them when they have them. We are sold a lie about success bringing happiness. It does, but only a fleeting happiness. Then we are back where we started. The superficial goals we chased then become the new baseline. And the striving continues.

The ability to be alone, reflect, walk in the park, kick the leaves, love without attachment, fear, guilt or obligation: these free you from the superficial trappings of our brief existence.

I would suggest spending time alone with yourself, walking alone, asking yourself what you truly value. And read: good poetry, good novels. They are thought experiments that enable you to reflect on life from different perspectives and learn the humility of truly knowing that your own perspective only gives you a limited glimpse of reality.

As Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living."

Examine yourself, ask yourself what would remain if you stripped away all but the essential, and build from there.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome post dude.

[–]abratoki[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Thank you this is enlightening.
Can you suggest any materials that I can start consuming to be better at this?

[–]KirthWGersen 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Everyone has to follow their own path, so you'll have to follow your own inclinations.

However, a good novel I would highly recommend to get to you started is "The Razor's Edge" by Somerset Maugham. It is not a long novel, but very subtle in parts, so worth reading slowly.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Going to grab this, thanks.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]oobertas 13 points14 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

There is nothing wrong with you. You are just unskilled at living at your edge. You are doing what other people recommend, not what you truly desire. You have not done the hard work of NGAF about what the world expects/wants and instead making yourself the man you want to be. Good news is you can start now.

If you don't know what your mission is, then you know your mission is exploring yourself.

[–]abratoki[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your comment.

I don't fully agree with not doing the work to NGAF.

The reason where I am where I am is because up until this point my mission has been to free myself of the mental and financial shackles that were bestowed upon me 4 years ago.

Now that Im free I dont know how to move forward.

[–]oobertas 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's exactly what I mean by not doing the work. You set yourself against the world, rather than making yourself the only thing in the world that matters. Common approach that commonly fails. Fixate on growth in the freedom you have and are growing, not on the prison you are escaping.

I'll put it this way, if you really loved and like yourself, then being yourself would be enough for you here, and you'd be on the other end of this conversation.

Also, when did telling yourself that you've done enough ever work for you? (Always precedes a stumble for me.). Try yelling yourself that you are enough, but that you haven't done enough to truly know and show all that you are.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks. I needed to hear this.

[–]Redpillbrigade17 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re living the life that society told you you should live. Think long and hard what’s important to you, what game do you really want to play and get good at. What life do YOU want to live?

And if you’re so fortunate how do you give to others ? Do you volunteer? Do you give money away ? Happiness that comes from giving surpasses that which comes from taking. Ask yourself if you’re giving enough to the world, whether it’s time or money or energy and attention.

Ultimately it may still be a part of unfinished work you have which is to find your own way to be happy and satisfied. Usually it’s not in the material things or fleeting things like hot sex or a delicious meal. What are you building? What will people say about you after you die? “He paid all his bills on time and had a hot woman he was banging” ?

Good luck.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your comment.

I am actually living the life that I wanted to live. Or I guess I thought I do.

I do volunteer. Once a month I help feeding the homeless and every other weekend I go to a shelter.

My point is that im doing all the things I have learned from Red Pill and from the books and applying it into practice - and on paper im actually getting everything that I wanted yet it still leaves me felling empty inside.

[–]RoccoPinkman 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why am I still not happy?

The Buddha said ‘everywhere you go, there you are.’

I’m pretty sure even people who we would perceive have all one could ever want, still have this feeling.

I had all what you talked about and still felt lack. Then I went to prison in December for 5 months and realised that none of that stuff actually mattered as much as I thought. I had and still have a feeling of lacking something spiritual, I’m not taking about religion in a traditional sense, I’m talking about myself/god/a real understanding of my own consciousness.

Anyway I went on a bit there but my point is that as long as you have your shit together, your warm, safe and have food, your kids have clothes on their back, then you should probably just chill out and get to know your self a bit better.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

What are you doing that you haven't been told to do ?

Also ... Happy is a dopamine burst.

If you're not at peace or not satisfied with life that's a different discussion and worth having

[–]abratoki[S] 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

What do you mean by doing what you havent been told to do?

I dont understand the context here. (sorry english is not my first language)

5 years ago my parents passed away, then my beta bux self was left by my girlfriend and reached rock bottom financially, mental health and from self esteem perspective.

Ever since I have been alone hustling and getting my shit together - which I feel like now I am on cruising altitude and things are going really smoothly finally.

I think you touched on something key here. Im dont think im at peace nor am I satisfied.How can I start on this?

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Everything you've done so far including lifting weights , doing well with work and finances , having a submissive girl - these are all good but they are all something some one else ( parents , red pill , so on ) have told you to do. They are important but they are not YOUR things. Not your goals. These are all basic concepts. Nothing here shows initiative on your part to figure out what makes you happy.

They are all things you thought would make you happy because someone else told you that they need to be done.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

My whole life has been people telling what I should and should not do. (narc parents, toxic relations).

Now that these people are no longer in my life and per see dont have to struggle to make ends meet I dont know how to operate in this freedom.

[–]Redpillbrigade17 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Do you have a men’s group that you belong to?

Friends that you go skiing/ hiking/ fishing etc with ?

Do you practice martial arts?

Do you have an individual therapist? Someone to talk to who is qualified in basic mental health?

You are not alone. The lone wolf is a myth. The lone wolf does not survive outside the pack.

You need to find a pack that helps you, and reminds you that life is worth living, that you have so much to give and be thankful for, and that you should not take yourself too seriously. It’s hard to do all that by yourself or with strangers on the net in a RP subreddit.

Good luck.

[–]abratoki[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you have a men’s group that you belong to?

Very small but good ones.

Friends that you go skiing/ hiking/ fishing etc with ?
I don't. They can't afford it.

Do you practice martial arts?
No, tbh I have been gravitating more towards yoga during the pandemic from Muay Thai.

Do you have an individual therapist? Someone to talk to who is qualified in basic mental health?
Yes, I see him on a weekly basis.

And thank you kind internet stranger.

[–]Redpillbrigade17 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

One more thing: are you Hungarian? You need to understand cultural aspects and influences that go beyond your individual life and abilities. IIRC Hungary has the highest suicide rate in Europe. There is some historic and societal programming that may act against you without you even knowing. Last time I visited Hungary every public place you go has all these maps showing how great Hungary was ~150 years ago. That nostalgic mindset cannot be healthy. I saw something similar in Lisbon: they call it saudad, that sadness and longing for some distant past when Portugal was real bad ass world power and before a massive earthquake, tsunami and fire devastated the city.

I could be wrong but bottom line: be careful what thoughts go in your head. Enthusiasm is infectious. And so is depression.

Make a plan to go live somewhere that better suits you.

[–]abratoki[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

lol how the f did you guess my nationality?

[–]Redpillbrigade17 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had a hunch after reading your post and comments - then confirmed it with your Reddit history (see your old Tinder screenshots …)

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hate to say only this - " learn "

[–]Cloudy_Pirate 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is always another dragon.

[–]Praexology 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I really fucking should be that dude that is living his best life as a young, financially independent, successful man.

Only a man who has done the work to earn it "should be."

What the actual fuck is wrong with me, what did I miss?

Your mission was pussy. Congratulations, you got it. Now what?

[–]business-_-travel 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your mission was pussy. Congratulations, you got it. Now what?

Pretty much sums up the entire post.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]threekindsofluckyMod who asks, "are we the baddies?"[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

No

[–]hopeunseen 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happiness is complicated and multifaceted.

Tony Robbins theory of happiness is that people are happy when their expectations for how life should be MATCH what they are actually experiencing life to be.

You had a picture in your mind of what life would be like when you got your shit together, and that picture doesn't match your experience. Therefore, you don't feel happy.

I think there is something to it.

In my life, I've also noticed that I am happiest when a) I feel like I am making PROGRESS and my life is moving forward. b) I am experiencing and sharing life with amazing people (quality relationships)

Psychologists have varying opinions on what creates happiness, but they all pretty much agree it's about more than ONE thing - It's about having a level of health and prosperity in multiple areas of your life, and when one is out of balance, happiness is hard to come by.

[–]2wo2wo3hree 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’ve climbed the peak of the mountain. Find another mountain.

There’s no finish line.

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

i like this.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Impostor Syndrome.

You're playing a character called MeRP.

You're in the frame of retards on the Internet.

Until you answer the only question that matters, we can tell you what we would do, but that doesn't matter.

"Be like me, it works for me."

  • J10H

That quote is for those faking it to make it.

You claim four years in the Dojo.

What do you want?

[–]Cam_Winston21 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

  • 195cm, 92KG
  • Bench max: 65KG at one rep max
  • Squat: 150KG at one rep max
  • Deadlift: 100KG at one rep max

So, over 6'4", weigh 200, bench 140 and deadlift 220.....but squat 330?

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

yes. i tore a muscle in my right shoulder last year during early CoviD.Im not from the states and where I live none of the hospitals would take me for a surgery basically told me to sit it out - since then i have been phyisical therapy for it but my chest and my shoulder on my right side really regressed and still not a 100%.

[–]Cam_Winston21 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Solid squat number, then. Good luck with the injury, I know they can be frustrating.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why do i feel so empty inside?

Because you lack a Mission: something larger than yourself that you truly care about, believe in, and are actively and regularly working towards making some smaller or larger part of the world a better place.

[–]Somelier1234 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I mean that’s your problem dude you think things like money and prestige are what brings you happiness. The human condition is very strange we flock to strange ideologies like RP hoping to gain some happiness outwardly searching for satisfaction when it all comes from within. You basically just did what everyone else sees as an idea of success ( financial security, societal prestige) I don’t blame you man I don’t know where you are but western culture makes it seem like success and money are what matters. Anthony bourdain was an old soul who had all the money, travel, and expertise in cooking in the world but it’s just never enough. Consumerist America is a toxic wasteland we have everything we could ask for in this country but most of the population is depressed. Do things for yourself and enjoy life it’s a ride for sure and just realize there is much more to life than success. Check out the book meditations by Marcus Aurelius

[–]abratoki[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I am actually reading this book. Very slowly as its incredibly dense and im reading it in english which is not my main language (Eastern Europe repping)

I never considered that work, status and influence were the key to my success.
I work for an American IB and when I got promoted as the youngest VP of the firm i didnt give a shit as this was not something important to me.

What I mean is that I have been following the tenets primarily in NMMNG and Rationale Male Year One + Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck and things in terms of career, finance and influence fell into place on their own.

Kind of analogy - i have been in a storm for the last few years trying to stay afloat and now that the dark clouds are gone and I can breath I dont know where to go from here and nothing seems to be doing the trick.
Not the hobbies. Not the friends. Not the hustle.

I just feel numb.

[–]Somelier1234 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get that dude it’s tough the other issue is that all hose people who wrote the books you mentioned they probably know just about the same about achieving happiness man those books should just be guidelines not hard rules

[–]Donediggin 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How much do you meditate?

[–]Perfectinmyeyes 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because you are in the worlds frame and not yours.

Who is in charge of your life if you measure it by the woman/women you are with, the contents of your wallet, the weight you can lift? You?

[–]thisisme0007 -4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

>Ok, so this is going to be a little different

Oh you special little snowflake you.

>Why am I still not happy?

Who the fuck cares? That's not our job.

Go masturbate at trp.red or wherever the fuck you belong. Start doing something for yourself that doesn't come from an idea posted by a random stranger on the internet.

[–]abratoki[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

K.

[–]thisisme0007 -2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Men say 'k' but faggots who live in the frame of internet strangers say 'K.'

You can't even give a reply that isn't something you learned from these forums.

Go read the "stick your head in this bucket right now" post and then forget these forums exist if you want to find happiness (whateverthefuckthatis).

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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