Wife asks overtly about my "new strategy"

strategos_autokrator · 2015-11-16T12:29:46+00:00

Read WISNIFG. You don't have to answer to any questions she asks.

In fact, you are in her frame when you assume that you have obligations to tell her.

The problem is if you explain what you are doing, you engage her hamster, and it comes off as validation seeking.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't explain anything. Just say "Yeah, lifting makes me more horny.", pick her up, and make a joke of it with Agree and Amplify. Make it funny and playful, so she joins in your fun frame.

One thing I've thought about though was giving her WISNIFG

Be careful with this. It comes as asking her to change herself, and she will fight you on this. Don't get me wrong, she might need it. But telling her she needs to change IS going to make things worse in bed and such. It is engaging her hamster. She has to decide she has to change, and she will find the resources she needs. But no matter what, you have to respond in a way that her shitty unassertive behavior doesn't work, so she is forced to stop it.

You don't give a dog the dog training manual hoping he learns tricks.

It sounds like she is starting to notice the changes in you. This is good. Stay strong, keep going. She is trying to pull you in her frame, don't fall for it.

MRPguy · 2015-11-16T15:02:14+00:00

All those saying "read WISNIFG" and "you don't have to answer" are correct. But none of that worked well for me and my marriage. We didn't have a discussion about it, but I did make a statement.

My statement was "I am becoming a better Man for myself." That's it. There was no further explanation given or one needed. It's the truth. There isn't anything demeaning or covert about it. It's also nice because it lets her know that I'm doing it for myself.

As with all things, your mileage may vary. Again, I'm NOT suggesting you have a conversation and discuss your feelings or let her berate and interrogate you. And do NOT give her your reading materials or even let her know that you have them.

RPcoyote · 2015-11-16T13:05:31+00:00

Shit tests!!! She wants to figure you out as she has for years. Think of it this way: you plan a nice date, a nice surprise. You work hard. You take her out and have it all organized: the two of you will have a great time. And then she starts with the questions and the guessing, peppering you with "where are we going?" Where are you taking me Mr. Etc etc.

Would you tell her until you get there???!

No.

You would BS your way through and deflect all kinds of little girly questions and tease the heck out of her.

Same approach here. Be the man not a floppy cock.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-11-16T19:45:09+00:00

I'm thoroughly convinced that it is best not to show my hand to my wife.

I told my wife about MRP/TRP and I am thoroughly convinced that you are right to not tell your wife.

Sepean · 2015-11-16T12:42:24+00:00

/u/strategos_autokrator nailed it. It is perfectly ok to not answer questions and just make a joke of them.

There are guys who have been found out, but this was later in the game and they all still recommend you don't tell your wife. It doesn't help.

And especially not when you're new. Girls hate alpha posers. Don't let her know, don't even let her suspect that you're reading this in a book. If you are ever found out then it is the alpha that is your true self but you were once a beta poser.

FearDearg2015 · 2015-11-16T13:06:47+00:00

Years ago, my wife told me that her "type" was manly men. At the time, I stupidly assumed that this preference was purely aesthetic, specifically about facial features. I had been pushing her to tell me what her type was (so that I could conform to it... Shudder) and the best she could come up with at the time was "manly men". Little did I know that she was actually telling me the literal truth. Now she knows I'm on a "journey" (again, this was a pre red pill revelation) and has many times shit tested me about it.

"oh, is this some little tricky you are trying for your 'journey' " (air quotes included)

Her: friend X had a shitty marriage

Me: give me 2 minutes with her husband and I'll turn their ship around (shudder)

Her: oh yeah, you'll just say he needs to be more "manly" (again with the air quotes)

All of this is to create an element of shame around what I am doing. Trying to make me feel silly or something. I don't blame her for it, because in the past, I did seek out her validation here, so she has every right to feel like the guardian of my frame. As if my frame exists because she tolerates it, or accepts it or something. Things would have been different if I had not said those things before, but she would still be shit testing me about something. Still with the shame tactics. They are experts in that, after all. I don't think things would have been "easier" though, nor do I think I've made it "more difficult" for myself. I don't even think about it at all actually. When she shit tests me about that, I honestly just smirk, because I know that I totally created the situation. A cheeky smirk. And maybe a smart ass comment. There is no right answer to a shit test. Only wrong answers. Wrong answers come naturally when you lose frame and feel ashamed that she might be right. That you are just pretending. Don't be ashamed of your past. Don't worry about how she might react. Just trust yourself to be a man about it, and if you can't trust yourself yet, just STFU.

IASGame · 2015-11-16T16:28:43+00:00

I know a few people claim some success in revealing Red Pill to their wives

said no newbie ever.

Trekneck · 2015-11-16T13:21:33+00:00

Welcome to shit test 101, make sure you study.

Your journey is yours, she doesn't need to know where you're getting help from, just that "im working on making my life better" or some variant of that vague answer. You are not by any means obligated to answer her questions in full detail. Revealing any of this information now would come off as validation seeking behavior and seeking her approval of the changes you're trying to make.

Are you trying something different? Sure. Does she need to know what that is, not at all. This goes to the weights as well. If you're going to the gym, go to the gym. Outright telling her "hey, I've been working out" is going to come off once again as validation seeking. "Hey ive been lifting for a couple weeks, see any muscle yet?"

Lift, read, and STFU. Your best friends for the next few months until you've read more of the MRP pre-reqs and are able to better handle shit tests. Best of luck to you bro.

dandar4600 · 2015-11-16T14:55:49+00:00

When I first unplugged my answer to that was the truth. I want to be a better man. She asked what brought that upon. I said I was reading a self improvement book NMMNG. She flipped and accused me of wanting to be a jerk. I said that's not what the book is all about.

She got an audio first chapter preview of the book and after that left me alone. Shortly after that we had sex 4-5 times a week and now that she is 7 months pregnant I'm getting weekly blowjobs after maybe 5-10 through the first 12 years of marriage. Literally, I'm not lying about that. For the last 6 months, there has not been a week when I haven't cum in her mouth. I am improving as a man and she is rewarding my efforts by taking care of my needs. Our marriage has never been stronger than it is now.

Honesty is underrated. Be honest, take care of your shit at home, keep lifting, passing shit tests and you will get good results. Don't introduce her to TRP/MRP/The Rational Male, but things life NMMNG and MMSLP are ok things for her to read and might actually put her on the same page with you.

UEMcGill · 2015-11-16T16:14:58+00:00

Early on the best strategy is of course STFU. But the reason for that is more that you don't have the tools yet to master verbal sparring with a woman.

I think that overt communication demands overt communication back, especially in the case where a woman goes out of her way to communicate to you overtly. Now you don't have to give her the book and say "I'm reading this..." but you can simply answer "Yeah babe, trying to be better in life. Trying some new things." In particular look for "I" statements from her, as these maybe a comfort test. Women will communicate overtly, if they feel they have to. So be careful as to not blow them off when in fact they may be coming to you for real answers.

My wife came to me with a very similar statement. I owned my sexuality. "I like sex. I like sex with you. I like the intimacy it brings. I've decided why hold back?" I owned my shit, and made no excuses for it.

2015-11-17T02:44:10+00:00

"so and so relative/celebrity/whatever that was important to me just died and i realized you have to take advantage of every day of your life and live it to the fullest."

her hamster should do all the rest... if she says "what does that mean?" don't provide a straight answer just say IDK it just made sense or some other dumb non answer shit... this get rid of this question and have her wondering what exactly you're going to be changing since you're now bettering yourself and being more in charge of your life.

ford_contour · 2015-11-17T05:54:50+00:00

A lot of good answers here.

One more important point no one seems to have mentioned: RP just isn't that interesting to talk about for the wife.

If you've not mastered it, it looks like you're all talk.

Contrarily, if you have mastered it, then like a magician explaining tricks, taking about it just makes you lose some of your mystery.

She will enjoy it more if you don't ever explain it.

its-iceman · 2015-11-16T12:31:14+00:00

I wouldn't budge on giving or showing her any materials. IMO amusement is he best response.

Title	Wife asks overtly about my "new strategy"
Author	IASGame
Upvotes	7
Comments	25
Date	November 16, 2015 12:02 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3t0gu4/wife_asks_overtly_about_my_new_strategy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-asks-overtly-about-my-new-strategy.207901 https://theredarchive.com/post/207901