Wife wants me to wear a condom

xjedimindx · 2015-08-27T14:15:18+00:00

If my wife asked me to wear a condom I would laugh in her face.

She's your wife, but it seems she is repulsed by you. That can hurt the ego. So, remove the ego and take a hard look at yourself.

Are you the type of Man women crave to pump them full of your life juice?

I'd say probably not. On top of the improved fitness, nutrition, and application of game, I'd have you turn to /u/BluePillProfessor and his post on Dread.

Don't tell her you'll find someone else, show her that you can.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-08-27T15:41:59+00:00

Read up on /u/Archwinger who has some posts in TRP about this phenomenon.

I hate to be so direct but there is a reason your wife wants you to wear a condom. Women slather Alpha sperm all over their face and gobble it down like cotton candy but Beta sperm makes them sick because it is so yucky.

You have ONE move and ONE move only- become more Alpha and she will stop detesting your seed so viscerally.

xjedimindx · 2015-08-27T14:38:41+00:00

Jesus fuck.

Even though sex is the backdrop , this is a compliance test. There's no need other than "Your stuff is an icky inconvenience".

She's not turned on by you at the moment which is the big big big issue. If Channing Tatum came up to her and wanted to A.T.M. back to V for a big finish she'd probably go right along with it.

lifting 3 days a week, eating healthy, working on improving my finances and being a better father

Add in: need to work on outcome independence and dread.

You could always pull out and paint her face. "What? This better?"

Also, this shit comes up in conversation. Stop conversing about sex.

Your way or no way. SERIOUSLY this chick needs the dread upped on her if she thinks this'll fly.

I have screwed that up by going nuclear.

You screwed up by making it a verbal threat. Not an implied action. Talky talky talky...zip up your flapping gums!

PS:

leaking from her vagina

This is such a shitty,shitty, shitty excuse... I'm still flabbergasted. It's also an attack on your manhood. YOU'RE not good enough to deposit that there.

They've had to deal with leaking vaginas since they were born. This is just one more temporary thing. The wonderful things you never needed to know once you become a dad.

You are waaaay outside your frame here, my man.

And she gave you herps. Thanks , babe. Here's your return on that entrapped investment: one leaky load at a time.

Archwinger · 2015-08-27T16:11:43+00:00

I might actually be nearing something similar myself. My wife and I both hate condoms. She's on the pill. But recently, she's been trying to back off to just handjobs.

Her excuse is that she's desperately worried about pregnancy. She's been reading shit on the internet about how the pill is only 90% effective when subject to normal, real-world use and all of the variables involved, so she figures if we have sex ten times, we're going to have an unwanted baby. And she has tons of friends who had oopsie babies while on the pill.

On the off-chance that her fear is legit, I called her on it. I told her to talk to her OB at her next appointment, and now she's scheduled to get an IUD that's allegedly over 99% effective. Once that's done, if she's still pushing back on the sex/cum thing, I'll know it was a power play.

Your case is much less interesting. Your wife has an IUD already. Your situation is that you've been married a long time, and now she's not into sex with you. She sees it as an icky inconvenience. She'll do it, but wants to take steps to minimize the whole process for her, to as few steps and inconveniences as possible.

You can't talk about this with her. That will just solidify in her unconscious mind how right she is to not be attracted to you and how sex needs to be a quick and sterile ritual just to keep the wheels greased.

The only route is to work on you. Become hot, become badass, become successful, be around less and become more social, and work on passive dread. Then come home at night and escalate. When she declines or insists on her own terms, shrug it off and go do something else. No argument, discussion, or butt-hurt. Eventually, if you become badass enough, when you escalate and get going, she'll get caught up in the moment and beg you to cum all over her.

blarggggggggggg · 2015-08-27T15:41:54+00:00

This is really painful to read. I have no advice but will tell you that I dated a girl way back in the day who was a regular sex freak. It was really great, I still think about her.

About 2 years into the relationship, she stopped swallowing after oral sex. A month or so later, it was the same thing, she wanted me to start wearing condoms. Something just really started feeling 'off' about the whole thing and we broke up soon after. Turns out she fell for some hippy-dippy alpha male shaman spirit journey dude over the phone and moved out of state to be with him.

This may be shitty advice but if you haven't spent at least one month on self-improvement for every year of marriage maybe go into monk mode, try the sexual abstinence stuff from NMMNG or MMSLP I forget offhand which one talks about the 6 month break.

Good luck, I think you're in a very tough situation and this is a bad omen for your relationship.

bitofawitch · 2015-08-27T15:04:57+00:00

I'm sorry. That's really hurtful, but I think, from the stories of many other guys that I've read, it's probably not too late to turn things around in your marriage if you're putting in the work. At least she's still having sex with you.

I just wanted to add that there might be the possibility that there's a legitimate medical issue going on. Sometimes the, ah, "dampness" in that area after sex can lead to yeast infections or general sensitivity for some women if they don't mop up well afterwards. Maybe visit the doctor with her to check that there's nothing else going on.

The_Litz · 2015-08-27T15:22:43+00:00

Could it be that she does not trust you? She thinks you are screwing around and is scared she might catch the nasties from you?

Have you given her a reason to be suspicious?

This is not normal behaviour.

SorcererKing · 2015-08-27T16:05:01+00:00

I think you got what you needed from other posts here on the condom issue. But you need this just in general.

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-08-27T18:08:03+00:00

Welcome to the married red pill.

Her reaction is based ENTIRELY on her attraction to you. She's not attracted to you any more. You have two paths you can take for yourself, each comes with two paths that she can take in response.

1) Improve your sexual market value. Figure out how to make more money at work. Lift, lose body fat, improve your clothes, etc. She will either improve her attitude or not. If she does, congratulations on a more successful marriage, don't let up on your self-improvement efforts. If she does not, implement dread. If she doesn't want to be a part of your life moving forward, then move on. Since you'll be in better shape physically, you should be able to meet more women and your life can improve.

2) Do nothing for yourself. You can deliver hollow, meaningless ultimatums to her, which she will ignore, losing respect for you every step of the way. You can try to negotiate her desire for you: "If I do the chores, will you have sex with me?" This will not improve the situation, and will end up with you having (at best) obligatory monthly sex and at worst no sex at all and she's cheating on you with someone else.

Yes, your wife should absolutely want to have sex with you when and where you want it. But you have to create that desire in her. You were there once (she married you, I'm assuming there was some sexual attraction then), and you can be there again.

mrpCamper · 2015-08-27T18:30:36+00:00

From my own experience before RP a few years ago. When we were in between birth control options, my wife suggested using a condom. I said ok but she should put it on me with her mouth. She said yes. It was a fun little thing for a bit. Was probably very "alpha" of me and I didn't even know why it worked then.

xjedimindx · 2015-08-27T20:57:54+00:00

Do you want to bust in there after that?
I am not being sarcastic, but after that kind of rejection, Do you really want to? just something you can ask yourself as you lift

dandar4600 · 2015-08-28T04:25:33+00:00

When I started on this journey my wife agreed to more sex and then bought condoms. She knew I wanted more kids but at the same time I wasn't good enough for that. I tried one from each pack. After that I never used one again. When she said to put on a condom I just said no. I left it up to her to stop sex. I wasn't going to wear one and that was that. I also wasn't gonna pull out. So it was up to her to deny me sex or get pussy full of cum. She's 20 weeks pregnant now.

Having said that, if she ever aborted my child she would be my ex wife. I would never stand for that. I would hate her if she ever did this.

chief_slap_ahoe · 2015-08-28T09:18:10+00:00

Are you sure she isn't cheating.

floppymammarygland · 2015-08-27T22:35:23+00:00

What is your BMI? Seriously. Not trying to be a dick. This will say A LOT about your wife's level of attraction for you. While we're at it, what is your wife's BMI?

Title	Wife wants me to wear a condom
Author	xjedimindx
Upvotes	12
Comments	60
Date	August 27, 2015 2:08 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3ilm4n/wife_wants_me_to_wear_a_condom/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/wife-wants-me-to-wear-a-condom.208137 https://theredarchive.com/post/208137