Adultery

redarcher99 · 2021-01-12T01:14:49+00:00

Sorry to hear about your situation.

I haven't committed adultery in the sense you mention but according to Jesus looking at a girl with lust is adultery so I have in that sense. I do know others who have committed adultery physically. I've certainly experienced those feelings (to a lesser degree though) as a result of my sin.

You have confessed and repented but do you feel that this issue is resolved and you are reconciled (between yourself and God, yourself and the husband, wife and pastor involved)? Do you feel you have mentally processed this fully and correctly? My guess is that either there's still some processing to do or it might just take time and a mental/spiritual battle to work through.

Feeling guilt and remorse, self-loathing and sick about what you've done which are actually right emotions but as Christians that shouldn't be the place we stay but through the forgiveness of Christ we should be able to move from there to thanks and praise.

David is a Biblical model of this kind of situation and the repentance and restoration. Psalm 51 is written by David after having committed adultery and is well worth a read.

Also have a read of Luke 7:36-50. Many scholars believe this woman to have been a prostitute. Notice how Jesus loves, forgives and restores her and explains why she loves him so much and what drives her serving him. Is this how you feel? Could this be your story too?

Keep in mind that it's also probably a spiritual battle you're in. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." - Ephesians 6:12

I find one of the best ways to combat this is with scripture and prayer. In particular I think of 2 Corinthians 10:5 "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.". I'm guessing that those physical feelings might be accompanied with thoughts. When those thoughts come up, how can you remind yourself that yes you have sinned but Jesus has died for that sin and forgiven you for it? Romans 8:1 would probably make a good memory verse for you: "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus".

Prayer - I know you've done this but keep telling God exactly how you feel.

Praying this helps.

LizardIsLove · 2021-01-12T00:10:35+00:00

How did the husband react after you confessed to him?

Deep_Strength · 2021-01-12T15:29:04+00:00

God severely punished me with a deep internal pain that comes and goes, but mostly has stayed inside me for the past 4 months. The pain is very similar to how David describes his pain in Psalm 38:1-10. It's a pain that's taken away my energy and motivation. I've made it to the gym a couple of times since and I physically can't workout. I don't have any focus or motivation for any of my typical activities beyond the bare minimum. I can't eat as much as I used to. I only feel this pain in my belly that only goes away after much prayer and fasting, but only after much prayer and fasting and relief is temporary. I feel physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually destroyed. I have sought counsel and prayer from pastors, and I am putting boundaries in my life to prevent this from happening again.

How do I get through this (the pain and experience in general) and return to a fruitful Christian life?

I doubt your conclusion that God is punishing you. I'm not saying it's impossible, but it's more likely that you are punishing you. Psychosomatic guilt can manifest in physical symptoms including depression, anxiety, physical pain, and such which are your symptoms. Look it up.

God has used people with relatively greater sins like Saul/Paul who was persecuting and murdering the Church to turn him around to be one of His greatest apostles. Paul never let the guilt get to him and wasn't paralyzed in his energy or motivations or actions, but he did state multiple times in his epistles that his past motivated him to work even harder for God's kingdom.

God has forgiven you. Let it go. Focus on your mission for God. Don't dwell on the old. Put on the new.

goldshade · 2021-01-12T06:10:13+00:00

shame, guilt, strong emotions to work through, i'd think about it as a trauma, not to put yourself in a victim mentality but to allow yourself to heal now that you've decided to, with God's forgivness and you pointed towards him, you can work toward that fruitful life. gotta do basics: diet, exercise, sleep, spend time with bros, journal.... God will provide you peace. consider therapy, keep accountability bros., consider 12 step.

redwall92 · 2021-01-12T13:25:21+00:00

You're posting on the internet, so I'll give my take.

My bet is that you are missing your girlfriend. You had a "real connection" with this woman - she might have even been your soulmate. Now she's gone. You don't know what to do with your life. You have no plans for your own life now that your girlfriend is out of it.

This is the same state a ton of husbands are in when they walk in the doors of this pub. They've found out they have lost their girlfriend of 15 years (ie. their wife). At least they've lost the idealization of what they thought they had. And now that the woman in their life is not playing her part ... these guys just don't know what to do with their own life.

In essence..you've lost your unicorn.

I do not say this to diminish the pain that sin and being broken over sin can bring to a Christian. Brokenness over sin is not a bad thing all the time. However, I do not believe a good father wants his child spending all his days agonizing and being in pain because of choices done and over with. Yes, repentance is required. But it sounds like you have repented to the best of your ability.

Given that .... where does your pain stem from?

I'd wager it's the loss of a girlfriend. Either that or you have the biggest ego that needs to be protected from the idea that you may do something like this with your friend's wife.

It's going to take some digging for you. But when you feel this pain, you are going to have to dig and find out why you feel this pain.

Lifting is a whole different subject. Fake it till you make it is a fine option here.

I've made it to the gym a couple of times since and I physically can't workout.

Yeah, well, get on the treadmill and keep walking. Get on the stair machine and don't stop doing stairs. Get on the row machine, put some music in your head, and row. The bar will always be there to welcome you back - no matter what the women in your life do.

Title	Adultery
Author	gsrtjrynathfs
Upvotes	3
Comments	11
Date	January 11, 2021 11:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askRPC
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/kvfcn5/adultery/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/adultery.729069 https://theredarchive.com/post/729069