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does this "really" give off a red flag for men?

May 10, 2021
1 upvotes

I was reading in another RP ladies sub about her man not wanting marriage due to govt. influence, and basically all the chooks croacked "red flag". Got me thinking the way things are for us men in Westernville, is that really giving off a red flag for us? being committed without being committed? Here in Australia we have defacto laws that make you a couple if you have lived together for 6months, and prenups mean basically nothing (afaik a court can just make a prenup not valid, so almost pointless to have one).

Someone mentioned to me get spiritually married but not legally married (i actually do not know exactly how this pans out in God's eyes).

What do you men think, is this giving off a red flag?

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Post Information
Title does this "really" give off a red flag for men?
Author NoFaithInThisSub
Upvotes 1
Comments 14
Date May 10, 2021 1:26 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit /r/askRPC
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/askRPC/does-this-really-give-off-a-red-flag-for-men.755839
https://theredarchive.com/post/755839
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askRPC/comments/n8sjeq/does_this_really_give_off_a_red_flag_for_men/
Comments

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I've been wondering a lot the last few months, is covenant marriage even available anymore?

Everybody talks about getting men to commit, but it seems rare to find a woman who takes her obligations in covenant marriage seriously.

For men who don't want kids and don't have any moral convictions about abstinence, I can't really blame them for not wanting to sign up for a legal marriage.

The female RP subs are not what I expected. I expected it would taking responsibility for the consequences of decisions and how to keep the dark side of female nature in check. How to be content (fight hypergamy), how to be good wife, filling your husband's tank. How to deal with wanting contradictory things in a man.

But no, it's mostly the same feminist stuff blaming men and you-go-girl, just a little different spin is all. It's made me realize women may give men bad relationship advice, but the advice they give to other women often tends to be just as bad. Even after supposedly reading RP and applying it, the rational part of their brain simply can't seem to overcome their hamster.

Getting back to your question, obviously if a gal is hoping to get legally married, a guy indicating he has no inclination to do so is a red flag for her getting what she wants. Here in the US, I have thought about what if a guy skips the legal marriage and just gets a covenant one, but then I realized it was pointless because the court would find you de facto legally married too.

[–]NoFaithInThisSub[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I've been wondering a lot the last few months, is covenant marriage even available anymore?

I don't think so, I was wondering is the view of subs like this let males believe it's still possible when the women has so much power to blow it all up.

The female RP subs are not what I expected. I expected it would takingresponsibility for the consequences of decisions and how to keep thedark side of female nature in check. How to be content (fighthypergamy), how to be good wife, filling your husband's tank. How todeal with wanting contradictory things in a man.

I really think it's now on the women to behave according to God's word, and show themselves approved.

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

The power to blow things up is a part of it, but it seems to me like it's only one piece of the puzzle. It feels like the range of acceptable male behavior that still resulted in a healthy, Biblical marriage has been shrinking. Now it feels like walking on a knife's edge at times. Too dominant and it's "abuse". Too nice and she walks over you and loses respect and attraction for you. It's the culture that tells females to be true to their feelings over everything else, even if it contradicts the Bible or even just what is good for the family or society.

It used to be men could make some mistakes, but still be respected by his family. Chevy Chase in National Lampoons Christmas Vacation is like this. Yes, he was goofy, messed up a lot, but everyone still respected him as the head of the household. Not so much anymore. Come across too heavy handed as judged by women, then you're abusive. Too hands off and you need to "man-up".

[–]NoFaithInThisSub[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The power to blow things up is a part of it,

It's the major problem. I agree with all of what you said. There also seems to be no answer.

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I've wondered what men can do. Maybe men need to start only dating women who make about as much as they do. Men aren't attracted to that like women are, but it would at least lessen the blow in divorce.

My sister nearly ruined her marriage, but they somehow worked through it. Now that they have kids, my brother-in-law wouldn't let her quit her job (they make around the same) to be a SAHM and I've tried to figure out why since they could easily afford it and she really wants to. My bet is he realized it's better for him if she does ever divorce him. I think it's better for kids to have a SAHM than daycare, but I can't say I blame my brother-in-law at all. He's being smart.

[–]TAUTJ 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The higher your RMV/SMV, the more you can probably get away with. However, I don't think the answer is simply "raise your value bro". At the end of the day, it's going to be her choice to submit or rebel as it is the choice of submitting or rebelling against God. Some women simply won't submit no matter how high your value is...

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, one thing that surprised me in RP is the idea that women will naturally become submissive in a relationship when they're in love. I certainly experienced it when dating my wife. The hard part is that infatuation wears off!

[–]TAUTJ 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

How large of a decline would you say there has been? It's just sad to see so many "Christian" couples that adhere to the Biblical standard of marriage. No wonder why my cynicism is so high...

[–]WhereProgressIsMade 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hard to say. I was lucky to get a good one who was still fairly submissive even when we went through a stretch where I barely lead at all. The most noticeable thing was probably activities we did during dating like Ultimate Frisbee that I was into and she was just happy to be with me. Many I thought she actually liked only to find out after the wedding she wasn't all that into them. She still asks me for permission often for things (buying clothes for the kids for example) where she really doesn't need to but I think it's just her way to show it.

[–]rocknrollchuck 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a red flag for women who prefer the status quo of having the legal protections of daddy government, and the ability to walk away any time with cash and prizes. If a woman considers this a red flag, then she's already tuned into this fact and it is first and foremost on her mind.

That said, the girls are going to talk online, and their views are going to be at the more extreme end of the spectrum because they're behind a keyboard. Just like many RP subs. If you are wanting to get married at some point, the best way to find a quality woman is to observe her day-to-day actions as you spend time with her.

  • Does she read her Bible?

  • Is she active in her church?

  • Does she talk about Christ?

  • Does she evangelize?

  • Does she hold to biblical ideals, and is she actively seeking them out for herself?

  • Are her speech and actions consistent with what a Christian should be?

  • When she does something sinful, does she go to God in true repentance?

There are many other things, but you get the idea. She should be living a life that is different from those around her who are not Christians. That difference should be noticeable and sustained for as long as it takes for you to be sure.

In short, the best defense against this sort of thing is strong faith.

[–]newpointofview2 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Imo it depends on your end goal. Especially as a Christian, if you want to have a family I think you should get married. However, too many people seem to rush into marriage, which is what I would be wary of. If you never want to get married, you’ll have to find a partner who is okay with that.

[–]redpill-cool 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends on the context of the situation. If she expects you to marry her in a country that doesn't do prenups and you're making large sums of money absolutely not. If you have no money, no job, and are still saying that it's likely a red flag.

I'm not certain how it is in Australia, but almost always here in the US with the stories of prenups being thrown away it's due to an imbalance of lawyers on each side. Example; woman had no lawyer, man had $200/hr lawyer, or woman had $200/hr lawyer, and the man has $5,000/hr best lawyer in the entire country. The solution to this if you're a wealthy guy is to hire the same tier lawyer for both yourself and her, usually in this scenario you'll be on the pricier end but it's worth the cost.

You'll find much-less people saying prenups are a red flag than just not getting legally married.

Also - many of the RP women's subs have increasingly feminist view-points, there seems to be some overlap between the female dating strategy harpies and those subreddits right now.

[–]NoFaithInThisSub[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not certain how it is in Australia, but almost always here in the US with the stories of prenups being thrown away it's due to an imbalance of lawyers on each side. Example; woman had no lawyer, man had $200/hr lawyer, or woman had $200/hr lawyer, and the man has $5,000/hr best lawyer in the entire country. The solution to this if you're a wealthy guy is to hire the same tier lawyer for both yourself and her, usually in this scenario you'll be on the pricier end but it's worth the cost.

I agree, I also heard a lawyer in Miami saying that you should hire another expensive lawyer for the other party so it shows there was no duress, get the meetings recorded etc, and do it at least 3months out from the wedding, otherwise it can be duress.

In Australia, regardless of how you did the correct thing apparently the courts can just say your prenup is invalid, regardless of how correct or tight it is.

Also - many of the RP women's subs have increasingly feminist view-points, there seems to be some overlap between the female dating strategy harpies and those subreddits right now.

I reckon so too, probably a good move moving them into their own hen houses, so we can keep the RP subs RP.

[–]redarcher99 -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree it's a red flag.

Guys that want to date but not marry usually don't have a plan (beta), don't have their act together (beta), don't know if they like the girl (possibly beta) or just want to selfishly indulge in sexual sin without being committed to a relationship or being a provider (red pill but sinful). In my experience it's usually the latter or a combination.

I don't really go for the spiritually married thing, most people who say that are just too blue-pilled to commit and think they are leaving the backdoor open for themselves to leave without saying they had a failed marriage when really Jesus would say they've been married (John 4).

I think the principals of submitting to the government and authorities in Romans 13 probably apply here too.

Legal marriage isn't really that hard in Australia, you can pay around $250 at the local registry and get married, it doesn't have to send you broke.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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