It's been a while. Okay. Stats:

29yo, 155#, 5'7", 16% BF, wife 31yo, kids: 4yo boy, 2yo girl

Lifts: Bench 2x170#; Squat 5x230#; OHP 2x130#; Deadlift 6x270#

I've been around RP material since March 2019. Found RPC sometime in May/June 2019. Started grinding the sidebar. Hit the gym. You know the drill.

Only recently did I discover that I have some real issues from my past that have manifested in codependent behaviors (beyond, I think, what NMMG covers). I'm currently working with a ministry to dive deeper into that, even after a few sessions, God is doing something new in this area of my life.

In addition, I've taken up a noFap 90-day hard-mode reset. With the wife in her first trimester of pregnancy, sex is off the table. I used that as an excuse to start looking at porn again. It became a habit. I felt convicted it was finally time to do the hard thing and take seriously the neurological wiring a lifetime of casual porn use has had on my brain.

Focusing on those things, I hadn't been on RPC much. But I decided to check out the latest. I stumbled across u/wildhusband2019's post No Oral Sex in Marriage. It sounds very familiar to the situation in my own marriage. Then, I went on to read u/rocknrollchuck's and u/tret2270's comments.

And then it hit me: Extreme FOMO. Deep, panicky, anxious FOMO.

I closed out Reddit, did some email to distract myself. The wave passed in about 10 minutes.

I remember feeling this way back when I first found TRP. I felt a little bit of FOMO off and on since then. But this time today was way more intense.

The only time outside TRP I've felt this way this intensely was back in college, it was clear a neighbor dude across the alley was getting some action from his GF (they left the windows open). I was at that time still a virgin with no prospects. I felt a similar deeply anxious, panicky FOMO. Ended up watching porn and masturbating to relieve the internal tension. I'm sure there have been other occasions I felt FOMO like this, but that one sticks out the most as the most memorable.

Has anyone here gone through anything like this? What does it mean?