I got divorced because my husband was physically abusive. I eventually became suicidal and thats when I decided to get a divorce. We tried couple's therapy, friends and the church were involved, and a police report was made too, but none of that made him stop being abusive.

I have no children, and I was married for about a year.

I always dreamed of having a godly family. I still want marriage and children. But I feel like those are no longer something I can dream of having because I had been married before.

I dont want just any marriage, I want a really Godly one with a good Christian man. Other people told me that no high caliber christian man would want to marry a divorcee. I also can see why a high value Christian man would not choose to marry a divorce woman. Being young, a virgin, and no past trauma is preferred, and I am nothing like that anymore. I am 25, no longer a virgin, and left with a lot of emotional scars.

This makes me think perhaps I need to let go of the dream of starting a family and perhaps start thinking about how I can spend the rest of my life as a single woman in a god honoring way.

I am very disheartened because being a wife was always my biggest dream. I put a lot of effort in being a good one too. All of the single men from church wanted to marry me when I was single. I got asked out by literally all of them. Why I chose to marry my ex out of all of them I am not quite sure. I dont come from a Christian home, and I am guessing I subconsciously was attracted to somebody who reminds me of my biological father. Now I feel like I am going to constantly think about the could have's and would have's for the rest of my life.... I would have been a wonderful wife... I could have made a man very happy... I could have raised Godly children... etc.

I would appreciate your prayers and advices.