Acting butthurt vs. calling out clear rude behavior

ObjectiveDay8 · 2021-06-20T14:42:20+00:00

She lost interest. Move on to the next phone number in the black book. Ghost her for a week and if she hasn’t reached back out to you by the end of that week, then shoot her a very simple text, like hey what are you up to stranger? If she does have any interest then that will likely get a response within minutes rather than 6 hours. If no response within a couple hours then that’s your cue that she has moved on and so should you.

btrpb · 2021-06-20T15:08:34+00:00

1, she lost interest, and 2, you are not leading. You think she is gonna call you? You've met once and she's got 19 other options and you're the man. Why is she gonna put her neck and make that call.

You could have just called her and said, "bit easier to talk over the phone, you free Thursday?". That would have signalled that you had some balls and got her heart beating because no pussy can use the phone these days.

PlayBoiPaco · 2021-06-20T14:37:49+00:00

soft next

loreofo · 2021-06-20T15:03:15+00:00

ignore her and if she texts back tell ignore her some more. if she texts again then you should confront her with something along the lines of "i'm not interested in your kind of flakiness"

ibringtheloads · 2021-06-20T15:11:47+00:00

I agree with the other responses, definitely next and wait for her to reach out. Here's something I realized recently. I didn't really understand the concept of why you just quietly disappear when they do something that pisses you off rather than tell them it pisses you off, it felt beta. Then I had this realization of why it is correct.

When they do something that pisses you off and you start telling them about it, basically what you're doing is arguing and trying to convince them to change their behavior. You can't convince them to change their behavior because they are not logical And you can't negotiate attraction, like It says in rational male. So even if you temporarily make headway, would you enter into the argument you've entered their frame and you've already lost. They know that there's something you want them to do and they know that anytime they want to provoke you all they have to do is "not do it". Nobody really explains this shit So it's hard to accept sometimes.

You soft next then because it's the only thing that has a high probability of working short term and long term. It's the only way to effectively modulate their behavior. Also it's stronger on your end because we don't have to get in their arena and try to have an argument or negotiation. When you negotiate you are not "the prize".

Soft next. Don't explain s*** to her. When she reaches out, set up a date like nothing happened.

Good luck

Efficient_Film_149 · 2021-06-20T15:23:01+00:00

Do you have nothing better to do than waste your time thinking about worthless things

theworldaintshit · 2021-06-20T16:01:26+00:00

"As we form a plan the texts get spotty with us both only replying once every 6 or so hours"

^I'm sorry, OP, but I'm going to need to see these texts if I can offer any helpful/thoughtful type of advice here.

MattyAnon · 2021-06-20T16:24:23+00:00

Tomorrow came and went and she never called.

Don't be vulnerable to female passive/avoidant nature. You're the man, call her.

Waiting = passive = weak = beta.

You get on with YOUR life.

You TELL her when you are going to call.

Do I ignore this completely and wait for her to eventually reach out and act like nothing happened?

Give her a week, hit her up, if still bullshit then drop her.

Or do I point out “I thought you were going to call me”?

And appear like a weak beta bitch who CARES TOO MUCH? That's up to you.

I find it rude that she’d imply she was going to reach out and didn’t

If she fails your standards you ditch her.

She is NOT GOING TO CHANGE.

d I’m not sure if it makes me seem like a pushover to not acknowledge it. Help.

Well, you played it all wrong from the start.

DS_1900 · 2021-06-20T16:51:09+00:00

I reckon you were too available OP, you should have called her a few days later after the first date and set up a new one from there. Ignore her texting you in the meantime, what she does or does not do is irrelevant to what you want.

alfalikeafox · 2021-06-21T02:04:23+00:00

She was going to call you, so move on from here. Do NOT reach out to her first.

Title	Acting butthurt vs. calling out clear rude behavior
Author	Slu_Mcgoo
Upvotes	1
Comments	15
Date	June 20, 2021 2:30 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/o46y8u/acting_butthurt_vs_calling_out_clear_rude_behavior/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/acting-butthurt-vs-calling-out-clear-rude-behavior.785217 https://theredarchive.com/post/785217