I've been having some difficulty escalating consistently when hanging out with this girl. We've had sex quite a few times, but it only seems to happen when we're both drunk and coming back from parties / the campus bar (in college). I see her on a regular basis and she initiates contact most of the time.

I'm having some real trouble escalating outside of the party / crowded bar scenario. Sometimes she'll invite me over to her room to smoke and watch a movie. We'll watch the movie (on our sides, me behind her) and then it'll end and she'll say she's going to sleep.

When drunk, she'll make it very easy to initiate (grinding on me etc) and there are no problems. When she's sober, she's not very receptive – she tolerates my touch, but doesn't make it easy for me to escalate. Her head's turned away, responds minimally to teasing, isn't ticklish, etc.

This is getting really annoying. I'm not getting laid, and I'm losing value in her eyes. I'm doubting my ability to escalate and I can feel myself slipping into scarcity.

How do I escalate on this girl sober when she's making it so difficult?

Should I withdraw contact and hope she'll be easier when she reaches back out?